Life gets weird on the road sometimes.
Writers tend, as everyone knows, toward the introverted, even the claustrophobic. That’s why readings make for such odd performance art.Whereas a half-hour listening even to, say, Bobcat Goldthwait would have its certain appeal--and I’m thinking of the entertainers I’d really least like to see--a novelist isn’t that kind of funambulist; we come by our work through continual and restless alone time. This does wonders for our social skills, lemme tell you: as a breed we get kind of inert,and are most relaxed--even maybe most ourselves --sitting in a room with no one else. And then, to hawk our wares, we’re sent out;we stand before (we hope) a crowded room and perform. (That’s why I mix my “shows” up by bringing audience members to read with me--it gives it a theatrical feel, and is more, I hope, fun. Because--to be honest--most readings are anything but fun…..)
Anyway, back to the weird, the unexpected twists of the road.
In Portland, the gifted writer PaulsToutonghi stopped me on the street before my reading.
He was with his girlfriend, whom I’d never met before, whose name is Peyton Marshall.
“Hey, Pauls,” I said. (I mumbled the last s on his name, because he’s eastern European, and I never know if it’s a silent s, or what. “Thanks for coming out.”
“Listen,” he said, “we need a favor.” Then he remembered himself and said: “It’s out pleasure.”
“I want you to sign my will,” his girlfriend interrupted.
Now, I was up for anything at this point. My NPR interview had been canceled (Although I’d been on A.M.Northwest, a TV show where the hosts were kind enough to pretend to have read my book.) But this request was a surprise.
“I don’t understand,” I said. I’d never met this woman before.
"Witness it, that is,” said Pauls.
I felt my face slacken: an idiot’s simper. What were these people talking about?
“We're leaving tomorrow on a six week Eastern European trip,” Peyton, the girlfriend, said. As if that clarified things.
“And Peyton suddenly realized today that she wanted to have a will in case--God forbid--something happens in the old Soviet states,” Pauls said.“So, we thought: ‘Oh! We'll go to the reading and have Darin sign it.”
Now, Pauls is someone I’ve met about twice.
“Naturally,” I said.
Out of her big black leather purse she pulled a sheaf of legal documents, and--as Pauls leaned over for me to use his back as a writing desk--I signed over her assets to him. True love in Bush's Recession America.
...
One of these kids, when I called him up to read with me, strayed from the text;he improvised like Robin Williams as I tried to follow along, lost in my own reading. Then--the campers left, as one, without buying a single book.
So: a crazy co-reader, an old friend showing up out of the past,and a legal document signed: Another night on the road.
The next few events are:
__________________
Minneapolis, MN
Tuesday, July 8
7:00 PM
BARNES & NOBLE
3225 W. 69th Street
Edina, MN 55435
_____________________
MADISON, WI
Wednesday, July 9
7:00 PM
BORDERS
3750 University Avenue
Madison, WI 53705
_____________________
MILWAUKEE, WI
Thursday, July 10
7:00 PM
HARRY W. SCHWARTZ BOOKSHOP
17145 W. Bluemound Rd
Brookfield, WI 53005
Please come say hello.
