Breakfast: approximately 14 grapes

Lunch: Lentil Soup and a peach

Dinner: Leftovers

Cravings: Shoes

Mood: Peevish

Gentle Readers, it’s been two unbelievable weeks since I first laid out the nine rules of Freegan living AND vowed to live by them. As promised, I’ve kept you up to date on my progress and setbacks. And while I prefer to complain about most things, even I must admit that it hasn’t been all bad. So now that we’re at the halfway point, let’s take stock:

1. I will spend as little as possible on food, and shell out only in case of emergency.

This was going extremely well until I started feeling a little chill in the air and the Husband went back to school (He’s a teacher.) Now I want things for "Back to School"--starting with some new clothes, a Trapper Keeper notebook and a fancy trench coat. I am such a sucker for those sale circulars--I want to get a jump on Fall. I need a fresh start for September. I am seriously craving 4 or 5 new outfits to get me back in the groove after the lazy days of Summer. Plus, I’ve been so good for so long! Say it with me now -"It’s just cognitive dissonance - you’re just trying to convince yourself that you’re still a good person if you do buy a new Fall wardrobe that you don’t need. Of course, this won’t be a problem when I’m Queen of the World and can afford Stella McCartney vegan fashions

2. I will be a vegan.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m a vegan but I’m not happy about it. I know it has only been two weeks but I have not changed my basic position. I don’t mind eating other animals because they taste good and besides, I have wide flat teeth in the back for grain and pointy ones in the front for meat--animals are a natural part of my diet. I wish I could make myself feel differently, but I don’t. I’m appalled by animal cruelty and sincerely believe that factory farms should be forced to stop torturing animals, but I just don’t think it’s wrong to eat meat. And another thing, since I’m on a roll, plants have a heartbreakingly beautiful way of growing towards the sun AND they actually release the oxygen that we all need to live; but nobody worries about eating them. I have 3 cats (Yes, three. It was an accident!) and a garden and I love them all equally. I talk to my plants, threaten them with tough love, tend to them when they are sick and protect them when they are attacked. So yes, I’m really attached to plants and while I understand our very human attraction to other sentient beings, I’d give my right arm for a steak and a tomato salad from Keen’s Steakhouse right now. My own omnivore’s dilemma does not allow me to be upset about eating anything and besides the Dali Lama eats meat and he believes in reincarnation.

3. All my food will be organic (and local if at all possible) and only from local sources such as New York City's greenmarkets or the Park Slope Food Co-op. I will also investigate waste reclamation and wild foraging. (Gross maybe, but Americans waste more than 90 billion pounds of food a year, and that can feed a lot of starving activists.)

I am really enjoying this rule though I’ve renamed it the "Eat Fresh Food Dummy!" rule (and trust me, nobody is more shocked about that than me. I used to love canned and boxed food. A lot of people don’t know that about me because I live in the food capital of the world and if you confess that you really enjoy Chef Boyardee, you don’t get invited to the cool parties.) Because, if you want to examine your impact on the planet, it helps to know where what you’re eating and where it came from (I stole that reasoning from Michael Pollan, author of "Omnivore’s Dilemma"). I’m not going to lie, I will always adore Tater Tots but my own hash browns made from organic potatoes grown in upstate New York taste pretty good too. I didn’t however join the Park Slope Food Co-op--I joined the Flatbush Food Co-op, another community-owned all natural store because I needed soy milk and the Park Slop Co-op makes you jump through too many hoops! And, despite the fact that it doesn’t require any gear, I think urban foraging might become my new hobby. How cool is it to gather high-priced herbs like sorrel from a public park! I’m still really on the fence about dumpster diving. America’s food waste problem is serious and needs to be addressed, but I’m just not sure eating it out of the trash is the solution. I don’t believe that you can live off a system you’re trying to eradicate at the same time. And if you want to inspire people to act, I think you should start with something they don’t think is completely gross.

4. I will scrupulously recycle, reuse and compost. If I want something, I will barter for it or go to freecycle.org or try and find it in that house of horrors I call a storage space.

Hmmm, this rule can be more accurately stated as follows; "I will ask my husband to do most of the scrupulous recycling." I seem to have taken a supervisory position when it comes to this rule. I am thrilled that our household does all these things; but it would not be exactly fair to say that I, myself, do it since I just leave papers, boxes and cans in a haphazard pile near (but certainly not in) the recycling bin I also wanted to get a bunch of stuff together out of the house of horrors and put it up on freecycle.org but I haven’t found the time to do it. And the composting just isn't happening! I got the kit, set it up and it keeps getting knocked over. Perhaps a bucket full of worms, leaves and peat moss is too much temptation for a gang of bored cats

5. I will not throw away what I already have and buy "green" items. I will use what I have until it's gone.

I love this rule because it’s teaching me to be less wasteful. It’s also really opened my eyes to a lot of the marketing chicanery surrounding eco-issues. Just because it says ‘green’ or ‘fair-trade’ or ‘organic’ doesn’t mean it is and besides, why should global warming be an excuse for the same old corporations to get even richer because I feel guilty about still having incandescent light bulbs?

6. I will aim to reduce my energy bill by 50 percent and be carbon neutral.

I spend a lot of time sitting in the dark without air conditioning so when my electricity bill comes next week, I better see that reflected in the amount due! Other keenly missed sacrifices: turning off the tv when I'm not watching it and unplugging all unneeded appliances - from the toaster oven to my husband's 927 chargers. Bonus: I got a 7% discount from Con Edison for switching to wind power. Bummer - the discount is only for two months and then wind power will actually cost me 10% more!

7. I will only use eco-friendly transportation (including the subway), but I will take a car if it is a matter of personal safety (such as late nights).

All I have to say about this is I never thought I’d be so grateful for the subway. I’m still afraid to ride a bike in the city but I’ve eschewed the bus and no longer react like an overtired toddler when asked to walk anywhere.

8. I will open a Freedom Savings Account where I will put the money I save. This money will, in time, give me the freedom to quit working if I want to. And when I get the Man's foot off my neck, I'm going to move upstate and read used books.

At my current level of savings, I should be able to stop working in about 42 years, which is about 12 years earlier than I had originally calculated.

9. Most importantly, I will mindful of the impact of my actions on the earth.

This one is a lot more work than I expected (don’t believe me? You try to account for YOUR carbon output in a single day; then determine if any of your actions (direct or indirect) harmed any other humans or supported evil enterprises and then get back to me!) Everybody’s always looking for a gap in your logic and so you have to read a lot of books, talk to a lot of experts and do some serious carpal-tunnel inducing web surfing.

Good News: My boss made me lunch! Because of my new vegan diet, my pants will fall right off if I’m not wearing a belt.

Bad News: I’m not wearing a belt.

Worries: What if this experiment doesn’t change me at all?