A good part of the day of the typical Level Up staffer consists of Inbox management. It's a game in some ways, as we try to determine which emails are should be read immediately; which should be saved for a later date and which should be promptly deleted. We know that the game industry has a hard time coming up with creative names for their products, but when we see a subject line like "World Announcement--THEY debuts at Games Convention 2007," it's an immediate candidate for the trash bin. We're not going to Leipzig (if our editors are reading this, we'd really, really like to attend) and 'THEY' is neither appealing enough nor sufficiently descriptive a title to make us want to devote any mental energy to opening and reading the attached message. Yet for some strange reason, we did.

Generally, the role of a press release is to inform. But having read the THEY press release, all we've taken away from it is hyperbole and buzzwords, assembled Mad Libs-style for maximum unintended hilarity.

What is THEY? Apparently, THEY is a "next generation mystery first person shooter for PC and next generation consoles."

Who are THEY, you ask? "'THEY' are huge--'THEY' are different--'THEY' are hostile!"

How good will THEY be? It's "so mysterious, so stunning and so amazing--that 'THEY' might become one of the most anticipated world premiere titles from this year’s Games Convention!"

What is THEY's best feature? The "haunting single player mode," the "heroes to identify with" and the "diversified enemies--thrilling and intelligent" were all candidates. But in the end, the winner was its "unique weapon system that makes you 'love' your weapons." After all, one of the of the holy grails of videogames is to elicit emotions from players beyond excitement, frustration and fear. Therefore, we applaud the ambition of the creators of THEY--whoever they may be, since who they are is not part of the information contained in the THEY press release. Because if THEY can make us "love" our weapons, THEY might just become one of the most anticipated world premiere titles from this year’s Games Convention. Even if we're not there to see it.

Read on for the full release, along with a screenshot of one of THEY's love-ly weapons.

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World Premiere: "THEY" debuts at Games Convention 2007!

Cologne/Leipzig 30.7.2007

This year’s Games Convention, from 22nd--26th August in Leipzig, will be the world’s biggest game event in 2007. More than 180,000 visitors are expected and journalists from all over the world will see the next generation of games.

This is the right place and the right time to present world exclusively "THEY." The " will be unveiled at Leipzig Games Convention!

"THEY" are huge--"THEY" are different--"THEY" are hostile!

Be one of the selected media to see a thirty minutes behind closed doors presentation--at the Business Center, Hall 1, IMC booth K36. By appointment only the brains behind "THEY" will present the first playable scenes of this FPS, so mysterious, so stunning and so amazing--that "THEY" might become one of the most anticipated world premiere titles from this year’s Games Convention!

"THEY" features a technically future minded 3D engine with next generation effects, brand new gameplay elements and a revolutionary weapon system to survive the challenges ahead! But always remember: Nothing is as it seems!

For your personal 30 minute appointment please get in touch with our Head of Communication--Ingo Horn--preferably by phone or by email.

Facts and features:

Title: THEY

Platforms: PC & next generation console

Release date: 2008/2009

Genre: First person mystery shooter

Scenario: Near Future

• next generation 3D engine
• unique weapon system that makes you "love" your weapons
• mysterious science fiction background story
• diversified enemies--thrilling and intelligent
• heroes to identify with
• heavy usage of physics
• destructible environment relevant for gameplay
• haunting single player mode
• versatile multiplayer modes