It's Up versus Drag Me to Hell this weekend -- and with it, a fundamental question.  Are ya happy you bought a house?

The (above-linked) trailer for Drag Me to Hell -- about a loan officer denying a mortage extension to an old hag, and facing the wrath of the underworld for it -- kinda looks like a tepid installment of Are You Afraid of the Dark?  But amazingly, the horror-thriller is currently tied with critical darling Star Trek for a 95 percent positive review rating on Rotten Tomatoes.  Yes, really.  Newsday calls it a "near-brilliant" comedy, and Rolling Stone's Peter Travers calls it "horror-movie heaven." I can't say I giggled at the clip above, but in the full-length version, it's apparently in the campy tradition of humor-horror hybrids like 2004's Shaun of the Dead. Which sounds fun. And it's at least competently helmed, with Spiderman trilogy Sam Raimi guiding the way.

What do you think?  Is the collapse of the housing market funny yet, or is your internal monologue shrieking, "Too soon!"?

• "Family Guy" -- Can It Break the Ceiling?  For the second year in a row, "Family Guy" creator Seth MacFarlane will submit his animated comedy for a Best Comedy Emmy -- only this time, doing so makes him ineligible to submit the show in the animated category, as well.  His rationale: "We don't produce our show the that way SpongeBob does. We're much more analogous to traditional sitcoms. Our writers don't come from animation; they come from comedies. I hear people all the time tell me that they love The Office, 30 Rock and our show. Then why are we not all competing in the same world?" [Variety]

• Adam's Always Been Out, Judge Says.  Kara DioGuardi, the fourth American Idol judge, has ostensibly outed runner-up Adam Lambert -- though she claims he was openly gay throughout the competition. On The View, she told Barbara Walters that "I don't think that Adam was ever in [the closet] -- I think he was always openly out." [People]

• Samberg Preps for MTV Movie Awards. As with some of the biggest names in comedy (Tina Fey, Conan O'Brien), Andy Samberg will get a chance to perform as host for a show he used to write.  For four years, Samberg wrote for the MTV Movie Awards before leaving for SNL -- on Sunday, he'll serve as the awards show's host.  He's promised us at least a few digital shorts, so we're in! [Associated Press]
  

Even though it violates most courses' protocol.  And even though it does absolutely nothing to quell critics who say golf's not a real sport. I can just hear them now: You, too, can get a college scholarship to ride shotgun while texting your friends!

This would never fly on the PGA tour, and not just because mobile phone and PDA use is banned during play. Tiger would make a taxidermied example out of anyone clickity-clicking out Tweets through his backswing.

I only got to include a few choice quotes in the story we ran earlier about Pixar's knack for creating the teeniest, most delicately evocative moments -- but Jonas Rivera, an Up producer and longtime member of the Pixar fam, said a lot of interesting things in our chat.   A few tidbits, below:

On what it was like at Pixar when he started, as an intern:
In those days, it was like a mom-and-pop grocery story.  There were like 100 people when I started, and now it's this giant cathedral to animation.  But at the core it's still the same.  It's a collision of scientists and artists -- it has a left-brain, right-brain feel to it.  It's like two groups of people that wouldn't normally go to the same parties.

On the creative freedom at Pixar:
We're asked a lot, 'Okay, you're making a movie about a 78-year-old man -- how hard did you have to fight?' I guess the truth is, that question always takes us by surprise, because we didn't.

On Up's throwback, old-school animation aesthetic:
I love animated movies, the old Disney animated movies, and we wanted to make an old one.  We wanted it to have the charm and grace of some of the older ones -- and I'm proud of all of [Pixar's movies], but the last few, we're really grown as a company and a studio....  On the line between live action and animation, right in the middle is where we thought Pixar was.  Wall-E looks real.  That lines has been moving closer toward action, and live action has been moving closer toward animation, as well.  We wanted to push it back to Dumbo, to strip things down with it and have a color palette that was bold, and a caricatured look.  I'm proud of it because it doesn't look real.  Carl doesn't look real.

On whether villian dog Alpha's chipmunk voice was the product of messing around in the studio:
Yes, absolutely.... Bob Peterson did the voice, and they pitched it up and kind of called us all in.  I laughed so hard I was crying -- it was such a far-out idea, and we debated, 'Should we do this?!'  We put it in and I'll never forget seeing Brad Bird laugh that hard.  The [dogs'] syntax is great -- it's like Yoda meets bad Japanese dubbing.

We saw a sneak peek-let of Judd Apatow's summer comedy Funny People a while back, including some parts in which Jason Schwartzman, who plays an actor reduced to work in a bad network sitcom, brags about his enviable gig and steady paycheck to his unemployed comedian friends.  (Cue a riotous Jonah Hill take-down--is there any better kind?)

Now, to virally market the upcoming film, there's an official YouTube channel and an NBC site for the fake show, called Yo, Teach!, a sarcastic riff on '90s high school shows like Saved By the Bell and Boy Meets World.  (The bad '90s-graffiti font alone makes our hearts sing).  The synopsis:

High school is tough enough without the added distractions of drug abuse, teen pregnancy and anorexia. Fortunately for the colorful underachievers at Jackson High, there's a teacher who's got their back: Mr. Bradford, the wise-cracking mentor of Yo, Teach!  Each week, Mr. Bradford tosses his lesson plan to the wind and tackles a new moral dilemma while keeping one step ahead of Principal Andrews and the politically correct PTA.

The movie hits theaters on July 31.

Photos, courtesy of cbs.com (left); courtesy of NBC.

In his Washington Post column today, Tom Shales profiles Conan O'Brien -- heir to Jay Leno's Tonight Show throne as of Monday -- and begs the flame-haired jester this loaded question: What about the fact that, at 11:35 p.m, you'll now be competing against your longtime comedy idol, David Letterman?

Conan demurs as only Conan can:

I'm just going to pretend it's not true for as long as possible. I don't think I'm going to take anything away from Dave. We're very different people, and I don't think anyone who's a loyal Dave-watcher is going to decide to start watching me. I think I have to find my own people--people who are probably meth addicts, come to think of it, in an alley somewhere right now huffing glue.

He also talks about Letterman's initial influence on his comedic development:

There's a period in your life where you can be influenced in a way--there's a window of opportunity that opens when you're about 16, and the music you hear then and the comedians that you see then are very important to you.  I had that period in my life. When I was 18 years old, Dave started doing his morning show on NBC, and that was the age when I was just obsessed with comedy. So I 'absorbed' David Letterman at that time.

Who will you watch -- Dave or Conan?  And does it make a difference to you that the latter will leave behind many of his zany Late Night puppets, characters and tricks?

• Man Sues Chris Brown for Personal Injury.  Chris Brown is back in the headlines after his bodyguard was accused of assault -- and Brown himself sued for personal injury.  Allegedly, Robert Rosen snapped a photo of Brown playing basketball at an L.A. gym on March 13.  Afterward, Rosen says that Brown's bodyguard chased him down and beat him up; he's sueing for medical costs and more. [People]

• Susan Boyle Reveals Her Inner Bad-Girl?.  The Britain's Got Talent phenom, who rose to fame on her dowdy, sweet image, apparently lost her curse-word virginity at a North London hotel while yelling at police.  Say two bystanders.  People are always trying to bring her down, huh?  [MTV UK]

• Players Play Hard -- and People Actually Watch.  The NBA playoffs have been riveting -- minus those god-awful Muppet commercials -- so it's no surprise that the ratings have set new records for the franchise.  The Wrap reports that while baseball ratings are in double-digit declines, TNT and ESPN are reporting their biggest-ever NBA audiences and ABC, which broadcast Saturday's Lakers-Nuggets game, had its biggest Saturday night viewership in five months. [The Wrap]
  

by Jennie Yabroff

In the funniest scene in the new Sam Mendes film, Away We Go, Burt and Verona, a young couple expecting their first baby, have dinner with Burt's childhood friend, an opinionated neo-earth-mother who goes by the name of LN. LN, a bourgeois bohemian trust-funder who doesn't allow shoes in her ethno-chicly appointed home, prattles on about her militantly permissive style of childrearing (no sugar, no separation, no strollers), blithely criticizing Burt and Verona's own more traditional plans. (They've had the bad taste to bring LN a stroller as gift.) Finally, Burt can take no more. "You're horrible people!" he explodes at LN and her husband, then coaxes the couple's son into the stroller for a forbidden joyride around the living room as LN, her groovy, hip mama veneer shattered, curses and shrieks in protest.

As much as LN is an easily lampooned type, Burt and Verona are types, too--he wears hipsterish nerd glasses and an overgrown beard (this decade's version of the sensitive guy ponytail), while she favors sandals and hippie sundresses; they drive a Volvo, are overeducated and underemployed, and don't feel the need to get married. If you've ever shopped at a farmer's market, attended a Sufjan Stevens concert, or volunteered at a MoveOn.org fundraiser, you know the type. Or, worse, the type is you.

In presenting Burt and Verona as instantly identifiable members of a disporportionately visible, if small, cohort -- the thirty-something sensitive hipster demographic -- Away We Go dooms itself to be hated by the very audience it hopes to represent.   This is the danger of films that attempt to capture what it's like to be a certain age at a certain time: they can be confused as shorthand for a generation's experience. When these films work, as with The Graduate, it's because the characters are idiosyncratic enough to keep the movie grounded in their specific circumstance. As a film about a screwed-up college kid with an overactive libido, The Graduate is hilarious. As a statement about 1960s youths' sense of disillusionment and ennui, it's puerile. Would anyone who was in his early twenties at that time really want to be identified as being as callow and feckless as Benjamin Braddock? Reality Bites is a fun movie about a group of whiny, but sharply-drawn twenty-somethings, but watching the film today, you cringe to think it could stand as a portrait of what life was like for young adults in the mid-90s, especially if you fit that demographic. The best moments of TV's Thirtysomething came when the characters' problems felt unique to them, born of their personalities, not their cultural moment. Friends succeeds as a goofy, ensemble piece; as a portrait of turn-of-the-millennia privileged slackers, it's too wan to define a generation.  

The plot of Away We Go turns on Burt and Verona's quest for a home to raise their child. In presenting non-traditional options (another couple has a multi-racial passel of adopted kids), the film represents family with a fluidity that feels very of-the-moment. And the couple's obsession with being the best parents possible is certainly reflected in our baby-centric society. But just because their portrayal strikes some familiar chords, its not a song you want to hear, especially if the notes hit close to home.   

• Did AT&T Influence the American Idol Vote? Maybe. According to the NYTimes, the company provided free phones to vote at parties for winner Kris Allen—but not for supporters of Adam Lambert. [NYT]
• Real-Estate Porn, Bush 43 Edition: A photographic tour of W's new Dallas digs. [NY Daily News]
• This Cocaine in Red Bull Thing is Getting Out of Hand: Seriously. [Google News]
• Alice Munro, Man Booker Prize Winner: Finally! [LA Times]
  

• The Real Housewives of DC is a Go!: Bravo announced today it has begun laying the groundwork for an inside-the Beltway version of the show. We, for one, can't wait for the Lynne Cheney episode. [EW]
• Yes, Twitter is Doing a TV Show Too: But, who cares? REAL HOUSEWIVES OF DC! [NY MAG]
• Dwight Howard Feels Disrespected By All That Kobe-vs.-LeBron Talk: He somehow was OK with letting Nate Robinson dunk over him, but whatever. [Dwight Howard.com]
  

This weekend, the Wayans brothers turn their satirical eye to a much-loved movie genre: the dance film. You know, Flashdance, Stomp the Yard, Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers ...

But before you head to the theater, watch our interview with four of the many, many Wayanses (above), check out our exploration of why dance movies have endured essentially unchanged for close to eight decades and see our rundown of the best dance flicks ever.

By Raina Kelley
OMG! Jon and Kate's marriage is over! Jon has a 20-something mistress (sorta) and Kate is suspiciously close to her bodyguard. Wait, there's more:  The neighbor says that people say they're just doing it for the money! Their own family told reporters that Kate gave Jon a signed contract guaranteeing his right to see other women during filming! Kate is obsessed with her own fame and its perks! And she's rude and spends too much time away from her kids! Oh, and she allegedly had a hard time keeping staff, firing and rehiring almost three dozen baby nurses in a matter of months! 

Yawn, yawn.  Somebody wake me when there's actual news.

Photo, F. Micelotta / Getty Images for Fox.

By Ramin Setoodeh

Whoa. So it's really true: Kris Allen is the new American Idol. Really. Seriously? This is the biggest upset—well, ever, in the show's eight seasons. Even more than when Chris Daughtry was voted out or when Ruben Studdard beat Clay Aiken. It wasn't just that Adam was pimped out by the judges more than any Idol contestant this season—Paula practically crowned him the winner when he sang "Black or White" 11 weeks ago—it's that he really was the best vocalist we've ever seen on Idol. Simon Cowell has even said that he thinks Adam's going to be an international star.

So what went wrong? Here are the top seven reasons why Adam Lambert lost American Idol ...

By Seth Colter Walls
In his more than 30-year career, Elvis Costello has partnered up with everyone from Johnny Cash to Paul McCartney and the Charles Mingus Big Band. His latest, country-inflected CD, Secret, Profane and Sugarcane, features a duet with Emmylou Harris and a tune co-written with country legend Loretta Lynn. Costello recently dropped by the NEWSWEEK offices to play a bluesy acoustic version of one of the new songs, "Sulfur to Sugarcane," and sat down to talk about the record, digital music and the most influential musician alive. Excerpts:

By Johnnie L. Roberts

Hardly anyone born after 1975 has a clue about the interminable, Mother-of-All-Media Wars that once raged between broadcast and cable television for supremacy--back when viewers thought the networks ruled and cable was a wasteland of reruns. But for the second straight year now, Steve Koonin, president of Turner Entertainment Networks' TNT, TBS and truTV, is keeping the fight alive. Koonin has invaded New York to crash the annual "upfront" presentations this week, in which broadcasters ABC, NBC, CBS and Fox preview their new fall show offerings to entice advertisers into early commitments of hundreds of millions of dollars.

Koonin is trying to upstage broadcasting foes by unveiling his new lineup of shows for the Turner networks. In addition to featuring big-name talent such as producer Jerry Bruckheimer, executive producer Steven Bochco and actors Ray Romano and Jada Pinkett Smith, his blitzkrieg also chides broadcasters for offering up mostly lily-white shows in the era of Obama. "Inclusion and diversity—those are things you don't find on broadcast," he says, touting two TBS hits—Meet the Browns and House of Payne—from the African-American Hollywood heavyweight Tyler Perry. During a lull in the action, Koonin answered a few questions from NEWSWEEK's Johnnie L. Roberts about the rapidly changing television business. Excerpts:

by Joshua Alston

"This is a football training camp. I don't wanna hear any of that s--t about a reality show." — Michael Irvin, three-time Super Bowl champ

I hate to break it to him, but "this"—Irvin's new reality competition show 4th and Long—is a reality show. In a real football training camp, the players don't live at the stadium, where the locker rooms have been converted into a live-work space. Players aren't eliminated after each practice, following an overly dramatic elimination ceremony that matches the laughable seriousness of America's Next Top Model. And in an actual football training camp, Irvin would probably have on something more practical than a head-to-toe black leather ensemble.

If anything, Irvin should be proud of his reality show, because as a football-themed one, 4th and Long is unusually successful. The pure sports-reality competition has been tried before: In 2005, NBC bowed The Contender, a boxing show from reality-competition pioneer Mark Burnett, and Fox cobbled together The Next Great Champ to run against it. The former performed better than the latter, but neither succeeded by reality standards.

Here's the real hurdle 4th and Long has to overcome: In reality competitions, pure meritocracies are not much fun. As an audience, we love to see the winners chosen based on bizarre, mysterious processes that are confounding, often arbitrary, occasionally maddening, but always fascinating to watch. That's what makes for great TV. In a boxing show, the guy who's best at boxing wins. It has all the appeal of actual boxing, but why wouldn't you just watch actual boxing?

Beyond that, the trouble with a sports-themed reality show is that reality shows get most of their appeal from the friction between the contestants, so producers typically throw character types together to ensure maximum fireworks. The fabulous gay guy ends up rooming with the "traditional values" guy from Iowa City, and then in three weeks' time, they're making out under a pool table. Quelle surprise! But on a show like 4th and Long, in which the contestants are gunning for a spot on the Dallas Cowboys roster, the similarities among them all are accentuated. All 12 would-be Cowboys were promising college players who, for one reason or another, never got a shot at the big time. They have one goal and care little for delving into the personal lives of their competitors. Expect to hear a reality cliché repeated: "I'm not here to make friends."

Still, despite the built-in shortcomings, 4th and Long's premiere showed promise because producers were smart enough to rely on reality-show tropes. The dramatic final elimination came down to three players: one who had eaten too much and sprayed vomit onto the Cotton Bowl field (only one of three vomit shots); one who was felled by a charley horse during a running challenge; and one who simply got beaten up on. ("Is that legal?" he asked, after another player thumped his helmet following a tackle.) As shown in the deliberation between Irvin and coaches Bill Bates and Frank Avezzano, there was a case to be made for all three to go home. Why was one ultimately chosen? It's anyone's guess. In other words, sorry, Mike, but it's a reality show, not a football training camp, and it's a better show for it.

• Will Gokey's Fans Break for Lambert? As Simon seems sure that American Idol finalist Adam Lambert will take the title home tonight, fans are both recalling last season -- a surprise David Cook victory, even as Simon nearly assured David Archuleta he'd win -- and speculating as to where the passionate Danny Gokey fans are disembarking. No surprise, in order to stir the pot more, that the press is toying with the idea of a Kris Allen swing. What do you think? [Associated Press]

• Third (Olympian)'s a Charm. Gymnast Shawn Johnson finally gets the gold -- this time as the latest Dancing With the Stars champion. She is the third former Olympian to snag the mirrored ball trophy of eight winners total, and as speedskater Apollo Ohno said on the show, no Olympian who's made the finals has ever lost DWTS. [Associated Press]

• Crawford to Star in "Footloose."  As if their phyiscal resemblance wasn't enough, Chace Crawford, Gossip Girl hottie, will step into Zac Efron's vacated role as Ren in the Footloose remake.  While Efron left for fear of being typecast in goofy, teen-y movies for the rest of his life, Crawford apparently has no such worries.  But can he sing? [People]
  

By Ramin Setoodeh

Let's play a game. Let's pretend that you're a 27-year-old male finalist on American Idol and that there are photos on the Internet that appear to show you tongue-wrestling with another guy. Entertainment Weekly said you "might be gay," and TV Guide said you were "openly gay," though you haven't spoken a word about your sexuality to your adoring, screeching, OMG-tween public. Then again, to be fair, you do have a man friend in the audience every week, who even smiled, waved and stuck out his tongue at you playfully when you sang "If I Can't Have You I Don't Want Nobody, Baby." And just yesterday, Perez Hilton reported that you introduced a man as your boyfriend—perhaps the same guy?—to a couple of other finalists at a dinner at Outback Steakhouse in Burbank, Calif.

OK, kids, starting placing your bets. If Adam Lambert does in fact win American Idol, as the oracle Paula Abdul predicted from the start, and if he is indeed gay, how long before he comes out of the closet? He's been shielded thus far from answering any questions about his sexuality thanks to a gag rule that prevents contestants from giving interviews while still on the show. But you know that as soon as he wins (or comes in second), quote-hungry reporters will be asking him the gay question before he can finish his victory song. Sure, he can dodge it like Clay Aiken did. But unlike Aiken, Adam seems too comfortable with who he is (or may be) to do that. So does that mean that come Thursday morning, we might finally have an openly gay American Idol?

This sort of thing has happened once before, actually. In Britain, Will Young came out shortly after winning the first season of Pop Idol in March 2002. "I feel it's time to tell my fans I'm gay," he said in an interview. "It's totally no big deal, just part of who I am. For me it's normal and nothing to be ashamed about. I'm gay and I'm comfortable with that. I don't really don't know what the fuss is about." Then he said he wanted to move on.

Here's betting that Adam makes a similar statement later this week.

Piggybacking on its theater review from yesterday's print edition, The New York Times' news blog has two fascinating dispatches from Germans who've just seen Mel Brooks' "The Producers" -- centered around a mocking, Hitler-themed musical -- in Berlin.  Check it out here.

• King Story to Come to Big Screen.  Stephen Spielberg will produce a Martin Luther King, Jr. biopic, Dreamworks announced, in the first ever King biopic to be authorized by the King Estate.  The film's makers will thus be allowed to cull from King's papers, speeches, video and personal belongings.   [Variety]

• Allen Settles With American Apparel.  The clothing company that used a still of director Woody Allen from "Annie Hall" without his permission will settle out of court for $5 million, it was announced yesterday.  "It’s of course possible by going through the trial, a jury might have awarded me more money, but this is not how I make my living," Allen told reporters outside of the court room. [New York Times]

Former Tampa Bay Buccaneers coach Jon Gruden, welcome to the limelight.  Gruden was just announced as the new Monday Night Football color guy after its other star -- D.C. sports pundit and former columnist Tony Kornheiser, who also co-helms Pardon the Interruption -- stepped down, saying that he was too overcome with a fear of flying to continue jetting around the country every Sunday.

Smell a rat?

We're inclined to believe this -- Kornheiser does have a well-documented flight fear.  He used to take a bus from game to game, according to his departure statement, but after looking at this season's erratic, trans-continental schedule, decided it was unlikely he could stomach the travel.

But a nagging part of us can't help but think he got sacked.  (Football pun allowance = expunged.)

The thinking:

Aren't there less embarrassing excuses than "I puke and freak out when I fly?" Such as... "I just want to spend more time with my friends and family" or "I had a cancer scare a few years ago, and feel like I'm overdue some R&R?"  How about, "I'm already a sometime-writer, radio personality and co-anchor of another major, daily sports show -- I could use some time off?"  Or, "Three years is about as long as a head coach stays with an NFL team these days, so I'm outie?"

ESPN finally computes that head coach > entertainer.  MNF experimented with comedic color commentators before -- with Dennis Miller, whose random references ("Did you see how the Ravens all wear that -- they're like tough guys in Annie Hall hats") did him and the show no favors. Annoyed fans even started a website asking ESPN to annotate Miller's pop-culture tangents with on-screen pop-up bubbles explaining their provenance.  So the network did -- sort of -- creating an annotated Dennis Miller archive. It didn't help.  If your teeth need gritting, or your eyes rolling, click that link.

Kornheiser was better and funnier. But what works on PTI -- an affable, brainy, quippy style -- isn't necessarily thrilling when there's a real-time game going on in the background.  With MNF, in its 40th season this year, fans seem to want to hear analysis about the game from the game analysts. There's a reason John Madden was as ratings-potent as he was, for as long as he was -- and it wasn't his likening of an Eagles cornerback to the quatrain verse of Nostradamus.

Gruden = fiery. And tan.  Famous for his expressive sideline faces -- check 'em out, here -- Gruden is also younger, blonder, tanner, more visor-y and prone to "We Are Marshall"-style lockerroom speeches that go viral on YouTube. He's the Kristin Cavallari to Kornheiser's Lauren Conrad.  While we've been in the Kornheiser (and Conrad) corner since his earliest Washington Post column (and her Laguna Beach) days, maybe... it's time.

Check out the trailer for Lars von Trier's Antichrist, above.  The film is responsible for the the biggest splash to-date at Cannes -- Reuters ticks off the various audience reactions from last night's premiere, including, but not limited to

• cheers
• jeers
• "derisive" laughter
• screams
• applause
• "loud" boos

It's either refreshing, or a sad, telling state of affairs when a newly signed reality TV star -- former Laguna Beach babe Kristin Cavallari -- says of her new gig, essentially, "Thank God I can act."  Or verbatim: The goal for me is to get my fans excited about me again. When I first started out, I had a celebrity name but I didn’t have the acting skills I have now. If I have some buzz with my name again, I feel like it will only help.

Good for her that she's easing into her role as Lauren Conrad's replacement on MTV reality show The Hills with the full knowledge that there's nothing "real" about it.  Check out her full Q+A with EW here.

• "Angels & Demons" vs. "Star Trek" -- Neither Here Nor There.  The world is split -- overseas, people are rushing to see Da Vinci Code follow-up Angels & Demons (the film had a $104 million worldwide take this weekend).  But domestically, the film barely edged out Star Trek's second weekend -- A&D netted $48 million while the sci-fi reboot took $43 million, a less than 50 percent drop from its opening weekend and a figure that moves the film's total,10-day domestic take to nearly $148 million. [Variety]

• People Desperate to Make "Idol" Finale Seem Like a Tight Race.  The Associated Press is predicting that this year's Idol finale -- staged over Tuesday and Wednesday of this week -- will be the "wackiest" yet.  Reasons provided included Adam Lambert's makeup preferences and Kris Allen's perceived come-from-behind victory.  It includes this pot-stirring from EW.com writer Michael Slezak: "Calling them apples and oranges doesn't go far enough. They're almost from different planets. It's like comparing a root vegetable to a sea creature." [Associated Press]

• "Mind of Mencia" Man Makes a Movie.  Comedian Carlos Mencia is getting his first big-screen leading role -- opposite an Oscar-winner, no less.  Mencia will team up with The Last King of Scotland Best Actor Forest Whitaker and Ugly Betty's America Ferrera for an untitled clash-of-cultures wedding movie.  Whitaker and Mencia will star as rival dads; Ferrera as the bride.  [Variety]
  

In that invigorating, just-went-through-a-haunted-house, "that was AAAWESOME!" kind of way.  Proceed for spinal chills:

The new trailer for the movie adaptation of the grim Cormac McCarthy novel has been roundly deemed both "bleak" and "cooool" by the blogosphere.  What do you think?

So it's come to this.  We've admired and loved Steve Zahn for over a decade--maybe since That Thing You Do!, in which he played a delightfully goofy member of one-hit phenom rock band The Oneders Wonders.  Today, after years of being the screwy sidekick, Zahn is finally opening his first major studio comedy as the number-one lead guy, opposite Jennifer Aniston in Management. The reviews so far are golden.

By Joshua Alston

They say there's no fool like an old fool, but to let pop culture tell the story, it's the singing fool who has the most egg on his face. There's Greg Gregson (Chris Lilley), the deluded high school drama teacher in Summer Heights High; his forebear Corky St. Clair (Christopher Guest) in Waiting for Guffman; and the tone-deaf hit parade of American Idol for the past eight seasons. In 2004, the WB ran Superstar USA, an Idol spoof in which the judges convinced the most awful contestants that they were talented, having them compete for an imaginary recording contract. (Live audiences were told the contestants were terminally ill.) Our biggest buffoons, both real and imagined, express themselves in shoddy song.

We had settled so deeply into the idea of the caterwauling loser that when Susan Boyle stumbled onto Britain's Got Talent with the look of a lady lumberjack and the voice of Charlotte Church, the shock of an inelegant person with talent propelled Boyle into the viral-video elite. After years of being drunk on snark, it seemed we were ready for an honest-to-goodness ugly-duckling story.

So what makes this feel-good story feel so good?

The two young stars who kept us riveted through Y Tu Mamá También are back acting together in the directorial debut of that film's writer, Carlos Cuaron -- also the brother of established Mexican director Alfonso Cuaron. Their new flick, Rudo y Cursi, is both a lighthearted soccer comedy and a probing meditation on the state of Mexico and the crippling effects of narcotics. Click the player above to hear the pair talk about their movie, American Idol and what they've been up to since Y Tu Mama.

If the sight of Leo in Revolutionary Road is any indication--the period fedoras, the stream of martinis, the Sinatra-esque, slicked-back hair--we think he'll (potentially) do just fine. Depending on his pipes.

Whence this speculation? From the news this morning that Oscar-winning director Martin Scorsese will helm a long-anticipated biopic of the singer, to be backed by Mandalay and Universal Pictures. (If you haven't seen the last four Scorsese films, the connect-the-dots point here is that DiCaprio has starred in all of them--Gangs of New York, The Aviator, The Departed and this October's Shutter Island all tally DiCaprio as a lead).

Amazingly, this is the first bigscreen picture to tackle Sinatra's life. Our blind faith in the Marty-and-Leo tag team has us pumped (should the latter land the gig) -- but what do you think?

By Nicki Gostin

Ewan McGregor has never seemed too concerned about finding a particular genre and sticking to it—the Scottish actor has worn a rat tail and wielded a lightsaber in George Lucas' Star Wars prequels, made an unsympathetic smack fiend likable in Trainspotting and portrayed the essence of Iggy Pop in oddball indie Velvet Goldmine. So it's no particular surprise that McGregor's donning a cassock and entering a religious order for his latest, the Ron Howard-directed Da Vinci Code prequel Angels & Demons. McGregor spoke with Nicki Gostin about Scottish independence, wearing a kilt and the Catholic controversy surrounding the film. Excerpts:

The Maxim Hot 100 -- and it's No. 1 hottest female -- were just announced, and joining the bootylicious ranks of Scarlett Johansson, Megan Fox and Jessica Biel is...drumroll... Olivia Wilde, who plays Dr. Remy Hadley on House.

Now.  Wilde is drop-dead gorgeous, with stunning, almost feline features and one of those enviably lithe yoga-bods. She's definitely very attractive.  But is she hot?  There's a noted absence of those signature lad-mag curves that have characterized most of the other No. 1 Hotties.  Meaning either Maxim is being more expansive in its evals -- she's intelligent (spent time at Andover and Georgetown Day) and a talented actress, in addition to being really, really hot.  Or it's giving her extra hot-points for making out with Mischa Barton as her lesbian lover on The O.C.  Not sure.  What do you think?

Check out the full list -- including our First Lady, at #93, after the jump!

• Happy Cannes Day!  It's opening day for the Festival de Cannes, the most exclusive and luxe film festival in the world, held for its 62nd year in the French Riviera.  And for the first time ever, an animated film will launch the festivities -- Up, Pixar's latest project (and first 3-D venture). The festival has garnered media attention this year for being stacked with auteurs' and major directors' pet projects, such as Ang Lee's Taking Woodstock, Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds, and Pedro Almodóvar's Los Abrazos Rotos. [New York Times]

• Kidman Backs Out of Allen Project.  Nicole Kidman has severed ties with the unnamed Woody Allen project she was set to star in -- the Australian actress didn't cite reasons. The film, which is to start filming in London this summer, also stars Naomi Watts, Josh Brolin, Antonio Banderas, Freida Pinto and Anthony Hopkins.  So it's not like it'll lose any star power.  [Variety]
  

• "Jon & Kate" Wife Sounds Like She Wants Out? If you eyed Jon Gosselin's abnegation of those cheating allegations with even a mite of doubt -- well, here's more fuel for that fire.  Wife Kate admits in an interview with People that she struggles with her marriage, and proffered this semi-shockingly candid admission that she and her husband no longer see eye-to-eye. Excerpt: I don't know that we're in the same place anymore, that we want the same thing," she says quietly. "I've been struggling with the question of 'Who is this person?' for a while. I remember where I was the first time I heard her name. It's one of those things where you can try to make it go away, but there's blaring, red flashing lights."  [People]
  

NEWSWEEK'S resident Idol guru and entertainment staff writer Ramin Setoodeh unpacks what might be a very different scenario for the front runner, heading into the final stages of the competition.

Photo, M. Becker / Getty Images for Fox.

By Ramin Setoodeh

We're down to the wire on American Idol. Tonight it's two songs for each of the final three performers, and the judges will no doubt be pimping out Adam Lambert like crazy. But that still doesn't mean he's guaranteed a spot in the finals.

Lambert has been called the best Idol singer in the history of the show, thanks to his Celine Dion-like pipes. But he's also one of the most controversial, thanks to his Marilyn Manson-like wardrobe and his (not-so-)ambiguous sexuality. Entertainment Weekly reported that he might be gay (is he or isn't he?!); he's the first Idol contestant to grace the cover of the magazine alone before we'd even voted for a winner, and he was the subject of a history-of-outing story in The New York Times. He's also the target of Idol's most vitriolic mudslinging campaign to date, after a number of photos leaked that appear to show Lambert making out with guys and dressed in goth attire. All this, and he's still the front runner to win it all. Paula practically gave him the Idol crown the first time he performed.

But most of his groupies have overlooked a possible roadblock to the title. Idol is the No. 1 show on TV at least in part because it's so family-friendly, and it also appeals to a large demographic of Christian viewers. These are the same fans who made High School Musical and Dancing With the Stars huge TV hits. Many of Idol's previous winners--Jordin Sparks, Carrie Underwood, Ruben Studdard--are devout Christians. Coincidence? Perhaps. But we don't know much about Lambert's faith, and that might hurt him with Christian voters. He could be extremely religious, but he's kept his religious beliefs quiet.

His two competitors, on the other hand, are a different story. Kris Allen and Danny Gokey both introduced themselves as devout Christians who are very involved in their churches, and both have gotten substantial interest from Christian blogs and websites. In February, multifaith website BeliefNet.com reported that:

Before Idol, Danny Gokey was the praise and worship leader at both Faith Builders International Ministry locations, in Beloit, WI, for the morning service and then he headed to Milwaukee for the afternoon service, as well as doing mid-week services. Faith Builders is his home church.

Kris Allen has been working with the worship ministry at his home church, New Life Church in Arkansas, on both the Conway and Little Rock campuses since 2007. He is also involved with Chi Alpha Campus Ministries at the University of Central Arkansas.

So who goes home tomorrow night? Adam is still the best singer in the competition. But since Idol isn't really a singing competition--despite what Randy Jackson tells you every week--don't be too shocked if there's a shocker elimination this week.

A mild silver lining of the cool economic climes is watching the preposterously overpriced -- the diamond tennis bracelets, the beachfront mansionettes -- throttle back earthward in value.

But who knew there'd be downright comedy in The Great Value Reassignment of 2009?  From the looks of the RFK Center for Human Rights and Justice celebrity charity auction, only half of Hollywood has caught up with the times.  Either that, or we're imagining some crazy appraiser in shirt garters holding a loupe over Dr. House's cane, and somehow finding over $20,000 worth of there there.

The excerpted list!

• Coffee with Melody Hobson of Good Morning America -- $150
• Have Gloria Ruben, star of “Raising the Bar” on TNT, sing for you and your guests at your next cocktail party -- $175
• VIP tickets to “Real Time with Bill Maher” -- $225
  
• Lunch at the Four Seasons with Dennis Haysbert of CBS’s “the Unit” -- $250
• Lunch with “Project Runway”’s Tim Gunn at Bryant Park Grill -- $425
• Go backstage at Rachel Ray’s show, take home pots and pans -- $425
• Meet Laurence Fishburne on the set of “CSI” -- $550
• A dance lesson from ‘Dancing with the Stars” Contestant Jason Taylor -- $500
• Visit “America’s Most Wanted” and meet creator and host John Walsh -- $850
• Spend the day on the “Damages” set with Glenn Close -- $900
• Tour the set of ‘This Week” with George Stephanopoulos -- $900
• Meet Matt Lauer and tour “the Today Show” -- $900
• Meet Charles Grodin, Regis Philbin and Alan Alda at a New York Lunch -- $950
• Tour Wisteria Lane on the set of “Desperate Housewives” -- $1000
• Enjoy a backstage tour of the Emmys -- $1000
• Watch “Meet the Press” on set and then interview David Gregory -- $1000
• Meet Joe Scarborough on the set of “Morning Joe” -- $1000
• Tour the Set of “The Young and the Restless” with Kate Linder -- $1050
• Meet MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow on set -- $1050
• Meet Jim Cramer on the set of “Mad Money” -- $1350
• Take home a pair of Larry King’s suspenders and visit Larry King Live to meet him -- $1500
• Meet Bill O’Reilly on the set of “The O’Reilly Factor” -- $1555
• Dinner with “Hardball”’s Chris Matthews at the Willard in DC -- $1550
• Meet Bobby Flay at a taping “Iron Chef America” -- $1600
• Visit set of “Anderson Cooper 360” and meet Anderson -- $2000
• Dinner with TV legend Bill Cosby, with 4 bottles of wine from the Cos’s cellar -- $2350
• Tour Pine Valley on the set of “All My Children” with creator Agnes Nixon -- $2750
• Have lemonade and cookies after Martha Stewart guides you through her garden -- $2750
• VIP tickets to Saturday Night Live and dinner at the Beacon -- $3501
• Visit the set of “the Office” and meet Steve Carrell and cast -- $4250
• Dr. House's signed cane, plus meet Hugh Laurie + cast and get tour of "House" set -- $20,500
  
• Meet Oprah Winfrey backstage -- $27500

And King Trump ascended to the seat of sovereignty, wielding his scepter microphone, and for all the world to hear, declared a crucifix-wearing Carrie Prejean the rightful Miss California USA.  The pitchfork-wielding populace press, meanwhile, peppered the King and the doyenne of Cali with questions. Such as, uh, don't you see the hypocrisy in declaring yourself a role model to women, when ya lied about snapping semi-nude photos?

She did not -- or at least, we think she did not, because Trump kept cutting her off and recentering the attention on himself.  Because really, this is about him.  Though it was, at times, hard to see the daylight between them: they both appeared to be sporting sandy eyeshadow, heavy dustings of bronzer and blonde highlights.

But the real circus started when Trump declared Prejean a victim of anti-hottie prejudice. (And when he declared he'd "seen the pictures," and they're nothing to get too worked up over.  What does Melania think of all this?!)  If gorgeous, destined-to-be-a-Fox-News-anchor Carrie were some lumpy, dumpy schmoe, Trump argued, she'd be a nobody. But because she's smokin' hot, she's a target -- just like Miss Teen South Carolina and her stumblings in geography have been a YouTube smash hit for nigh on two years now.  That phenomenon had nothing to with her terminology, The Iraq and Everywhere Like Such As, or her meaningless assertion that it's all about the maps.  It went viral because she's insanely, crazy-hot.  Says Trump.  Who could be her grandfather.

Rather than reeling off my thoughts, I wanna know what you think. Would Carrie be in the crosshairs if she were a foot-faced librarian instead of a swimsuit model?

• Spurned William Shatner's Scene Revealed.  Star Trek writers/producers Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman revealed the details behind a failed William Shatner plot in J.J. Abrams' reboot of the sci-fi franchise. While the TV version's beloved Spock -- Leonard Nimoy -- was effortlessly indexed in the movie's younger cast, Shatner reportedly feuded with the director, and had but few (albeit encouraging) words for Chris Pine, his replacement as Captain Kirk.  Will he figure into a Abrams' Trek sequel, already in the works?  If the MTV video of these two guys talking about how hard it would be to make Shatner happen is any indication, well, it looks unlikely. [MTV News]

• Bruce Jenner Is "Sweet," Even Post-Lift.  God, it's so awkward when your stepdaughter tries to act as your spokeswoman, through her blog, about how your botched face lift and nose job have landed you in dire need of a 60th-birthday touch-up.  And when, either because of or in spite of this -- unclear as of press time -- she calls you "sweet." And when all this is unintentionally humorous, because your pre-surgery mug is about as slack as a djembe drum.  And when your stepdaughter is Kim Kardashian.  And when you are Bruce Jenner.  Whose uber-burnised aesthetic, by the way, has always reminded us of those singing California raisins from our childhood.  Mmm, raisins. [People]

• American Gladiator to Hit Multiplexes?  Speaking of mid-1980s television: the creator of "American Gladiators" will take the franchise to the big screen, and interestingly, he claims it was supposed to have been a film all along.  We'll believe it when we see it -- in the meantime, the project's producer cites the goal as "creating a compelling story" and a "new set of characters."  That'd be a good start. [Variety]
  

by Kurt Soller

Confession: I'm obsessed with Obsessed.

As I was typing an e-mail to my co-workers about the saturation of Star Trek coverage, I almost didn't mention that I spent my Friday night watching a different movie--Obsessed. You know, the Beyonce Knowles and Ali Larter thriller with the terrible previews, the same one that topped the box offices when it opened two weekends ago. It's since earned $56.2 million, which means that enough people have now seen it that I should hardly be embarrassed.

Every now and then, a cult movie comes along that's tailor made for screaming audiences who guffaw at things--like, say, adultery--that aren't actually that funny. Usually, these movies combine adult horror with raw sexuality; Snakes on a Plane was rated R for all the gore. Before that, Showgirls rose to video prominence, making millions on home sales after it became the first NC-17 film in wide release. Both those became quick and trashy classics, but Obsessed takes this trope one step further: it's PG-13. In short, all the sex is sexy without turning too raunchy (clever editing, folks) and all the violence is teeth-gritting without being scary. God forbid we mess up Beyonce's expensive hair.

But, mostly, what the PG-13 rating does to this movie is make it campy, not creepy. That aspect is so well executed that you'll be rolling on the floor, whether it's watching Ali Larter literally meow at the man she's stalking (Idris Elba), or hearing Beyonce squawk, "You think you're crazy? I'll show you crazy," before tackling the stalker. All these scenes are played with such high energy and pseudo-seriousness that it's unclear whether the actors realize how ludicrously silly this all is. Many critics noted this, adding that the movie is no more than a low-rent version of Fatal Attraction. That's true, but they left out one part: instead of being jarred when you leave the theater, you'll be jubilant.

The prognosis ranges from "still in the game" to grim to completely, totally, utterly unlikely for the 1980s-set Gossip Girl spinoff, still unnamed despite having a full cast and promotional photos. The show is centered on a backtrack to the teenage years of Gossip mom Lily van der Woodsen (a Benatar-ed Brittany Snow) and the sister that we never knew she had, who sort of reminds us of a brunette Cynthia Benson (Tom Hanks's crush in Big).

Still forging ahead, however, is tonight's teaser flashback episode--meant to be a pilot for the new series, and intermixed with Gossip's NYC-set prom episode. And if what CW executives are saying--that the Cali-throwback show still is very much in contention for one of three available slots on the network's schedule--then tonight is the ultimate litmus test. Do you want to see Andrew McCarthy's television career furthered? Do you wonder if B.Snow will finally become famous for ... something? Other than making out with Sophia Bush? Would you sacrifice an hour of your life to witness in action the day-to-night fungibility of acid-pink stilettos?

We're expecting to be (be)dazzled, people--especially as those responsible continue to fan the flames: "[This was] probably what they go through every week on Lost... it was the single hardest hour of TV we've ever done," show creator Josh Schwartz told USA Today. 

If there's an island, I'm quitting TV.

There Will Be Cliches, Part II:

Remember how much we hated the "There Will Be [Noun]" headlines back in early '08, along with the "No Country for Old [Noun]" variants? 

Yeah, so, these days, it's Star Trek and "beaming" that's getting on our last nerve.  If one more headline trumpets the sci-fi flick's "beaming up" of a boatload of cash this weekend, we're going to set our phasers to stun, or something else really bad.

• Star Trek Beams to Top of Chart, BBC News 
• Star Trek Beams Up $76.5 Million in Opening, AP via MSNBC
• Star Trek Beams Up $72.5 Million in First Weekend, Reuters
  
• Star Trek Beams Into Albany, WFXL Fox 31
• Star Trek Beams Into SNL, Just Jared
• As Star Trek Beams into Theaters, Our Five Reason Why We Love Captain Kirk, MTV News
• Star Trek Beams You Back to Exciting Times, Belleville News Democrat
  

Earlier this morning, Sony Pictures' home entertainment division announced that the complete fourth season of Charlie's Angels -- the show that launched the fame of headline fixture Farrah Fawcett -- will hit your megamall on July 21.  Why the announcement today, of all days?  We can only speculate -- forgive us for doing what comes naturally to blogs -- that it's because interest in the show and its biggest veteran hasn't been this high in years.  Fawcett didn't even figure into the fourth season, and yet, her name -- and her bio, which includes references to the ABC show -- have shot up in Google rankings and searches, given her worsening condition and ongoing battle with terminal anal cancer.  (Check out this Google Trends graph of the Farrah coverage, pitted against something that's been steadily in the news, like Iraq).

Other Fawcett-mania: The two-hour "video diary" documentary about her struggle to survive, to air May 15 on NBC (trailer above), or the squawking of longtime partner Ryan O'Neal promoting the doc, saying that she's near the end, that the cancer has spread and that she is ceasing treatment.

You might think that revived interest in Fawcett's already very public battle with cancer is kosher with the actress, given that today's Los Angeles Times printed an exclusive interview with the star, her first since the late-2006 diagnosis.  But the interview was actually conducted nearly a year ago, in August of 2008. And in it she talks about her hatred of living "under a microscope" while battling the disease. 

Maybe now, if she's really near the end, we could turn off the "diary" camcorder and let her have some peace?

• Box-Office Boom for J.J. Abrams' "Star Trek." Star Trek had a successful weekend -- $76.5 million from Thursday to Sunday nights -- but didn't catch Wolverine to nab the best opening of the year.  Still, Paramount points to an upswing in attendance over the course of the weekend (it's usually the reverse) as a sign that good word-of-mouth is promoting the film.  They expect to see more big numbers next weekend -- unlike the X-Men film, which plummeted nearly 70& after its opening weekend. [Variety]

• TV Slate to Be Set Next Week.  With a week until announcements re: what shows we'll be hooked on next fall, the big networks are buckling down -- and leaking buzz to the trades.  Check out the linked update of which shows are locks, on the bubble, and losing steam. (Of interest, Deadline Hollywood Daily is reporting that the Gossip Girl spinoff, set in 1980s L.A., has been canceled).  [Variety]

• Nude Pics Rattle R&B Songbirds.  It's only Monday, and already there are two R&B singers demanding through their labels that leaked nude photos of them be yanked from the web. A handful of risque cellphone snaps, self-taken, are the latest scandal to hound poor Rihanna, while a few photos -- one very NSFW -- of young Cassie Ventura have also been leaked.  [MTV; AP]
  

Our chat with Star Trek stars Leonard Nimoy and Zachary Quinto -- click the player to view!

• Big Drop for CBS.  CBS posted a $55 million lost yesterday -- that's up against last year's profit of $244 million.  The corporation credits a tremendous slide in ad revenue.  Like the other networks, however, the company was remiss to cite too much gloom ahead of their big line-up presentation, later this month. [Variety]

• Jack Bauer Goes to Jail? "24" star Kiefer Sutherland has been charged with assault since he turned himself in to police; it was revealed Tuesday morning that he allegedly headbutted a man (rumored to be Proenza Schouler designer Jack McCullough) in a scuffle after the Costume Institute gala.  Headbutted him, yes, you read that correctly.  A paparazzi snap of the designer shows him with a bloodied scab across the bridge of his nose.  Why would Jack do it?  Apparently the altercation was over Brooke Shields.  Huh? [Reuters via Washington Post]

• A Canadian Retreat for Woody and Buzz.  A third sibling to join the Disney/Pixar animation family?  Walt Disney will launch a sattelite animation studio in Vancouver, for the less glamorous -- but still totally cool -- job of reviving legacy characters and creating animated shorts for use at themeparks and other facilities. [The Hollywood Reporter]
  

• The trailer -- or see below for YouTube version
  
• "We're All Trekkies Now," Steve Daly for NEWSWEEK (cover story)
  
• "Confessions of a Star Trek Writer," Leonard Mlodinow for NEWSWEEK (cover story)
  
• NEWSWEEK gallery of famous guest stars on Star Trek
• NEWSWEEK snaps of an early Trek convention, in the '70s
  
• "Has Star Trek Lost Its Moral Relevance?" by NEWSWEEK's Marc Bain
• "Spock, Kirk and Slash Fiction," by Paul Constant for NEWSWEEK
  

Not only am I a smidge on the young side to have been a "Star Trek" devotee--even for "Next Generation," of which I've only seen about one-tenth of an episode--but I also actively dislike space. It scares the hell out of me. I'm still haunted by the "Alien" tagline: no one can hear you scream ...

So can I find something to love about J.J. Abrams' "Star Trek"?

In fact, yes! Consider me a new proselyte. Reasons to see "Star Trek" this weekend if you're not a Trekkie, after the jump:

• Cleveland's Big Breakout Gets Second Helping.  Before the premiere has even aired, Fox has already ordered a second season of "Cleveland," the "Family Guy" spinoff that follows the family of Peter's friend Cleveland Brown.  All you need to know right now is that Arianna Huffington has a recurring role.  The show debuts sometime this fall.  [The Hollywood Reporter]

• "Idol" Enters Finale Week of 2009.  It's down to the final three on "American Idol" -- an all-male finale cast will include Adam Lambert, Danny Gokey and Kris Allen.  In the spirit of finale week, Newsweek has more coming from the "Idol" gang -- stayed tuned to Pop Vox next week for some exclusive content! [People]

• 'Entourage' and 'Curb' Come to Basic Cable.  HBO has (finally) sold syndication rights to two of its most popular series: "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and "Entourage," which are slated to being airing in fall of 2010 on 23 Tribune stations, in 17 markets.  The shows will air on weekday nights and some weekends; SpikeTV also picked up "Entourage." [Variety]
  

Gloomy: What was the last time you saw a headline that called a Picasso a "flop"?  Thanks, Bloomberg News -- this article chronicles last night's Sotheby's sale of some important Impressionist and modern art, including a painting by the famed Spaniard that was left unclaimed at night's end.  As the top lot, the painting was put under the hammer at an estimated $24 million.

Gloomier: The painting was reportedly the former holding of William Achenbaum, a New York real-estate developer who is listed by a filing in U.S. Bankruptcy Court as an investor in Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme.

Gloomiest: The total draw for the auction house was not only well below its conservative estimate of $81.5 million; at a $61.4 draw, it was also the lowest tally since its first post-9/11 auction, in November 2001, which drew a scant $33.1 million.

• More Bad News for Miss California.  Miss California -- and Perez Hilton nemesis -- Carrie Prejean may be investigated by the Miss California pageant delegation, a spokesman for the organization confirmed yesterday. Prejean is cited as being in violation of her 12-page contract, which includes provisions against acting as a spokesmodel and against posing nude.  Since the Miss USA pageant, where she said she did not believe in gay marriage, Prejean has acted in a spokeswoman capacity for anti-gay marriage activists in her home state; photographs of her posing topless as a teen model (though she's facing half-away from the camera) were also recently uncovered.  If found in violation of her state pageant contract, the Miss California organization could strip her of her crown.  Gasp!  [Associated Press]
  

• 'Farrah's Story' to Air May 15.  Farrah Fawcett, who was recently hospitalized after some experimental surgery in Germany caused complications, will air a raw, homemade documentary about her two-and-a-half-year battle with anal cancer, NBC announced Tuesday.  The film is like a video diary, the network said, and will feature those close to the "Charlie's Angels" star -- including Ryan O'Neal, her longtime partner who has also struggled with serious illness (his leukemia has been in remission since 2006).  The film will air May 15.  [United Press International]

• The Road to $1 Billion: Rome and 'A&D' Get Early Thumbs Up.  The early trade reviews are up and generally favorable for "Da Vinci Code" sequel, Dan Brown's "Angels & Demons" (May 15).  The thriller is charged with being zippier, more energetic and with more spellbinding effects than its predecessor, though not quite a home run.  Why is any of this a big deal?  Because despite nearly universal panning among critics, the first installment in the franchise went on to gross more than $750 million worldwide.  Even pre-recession, that was no chump change. [Variety; The Hollywood Reporter]
  

Preface: This document was released one year ago.  Which would make it ineligible for publication on almost any other news-pegged blog -- except this one!  Because Pop Vox didn't exist a year ago, and therefore, we couldn't write about this very newsworthy thing at the time of its Very Newsworthiness. 

[Insert title card: One Year Later...]

A full list, in PDF format, of all the books, movies and songs aboard the space station.  Why?  Why not?! is really the question here.  Currently bumping up against the state capitals now in my Brain Attic is the knowledge that astronauts can watch the second -- but not first, or third -- installments of the Austin Powers.  (That's "The Spy Who Shagged Me," for curious parties).  And that "Elephunk," the Black-Eyed Peas third effort, is indeed available for blasting at any NASA pregames or mixers.

Not surprisingly, the titles in all genres skew scientific, nerdy and boyish.  In the mood for a romantic comedy?  If you're not feeling "Sleepless in Seattle" or "Something's Gotta Give," well, you're S.O.L.

Also, as NEWSWEEK videographer Sarah Frank -- the sharp eyes behind this discovery -- points out: there are some Oxford reference books in up there.  Meaning, yes: NASA has yet to embrace the Kindle, against all odds and physical formulas about drag and weight and velocity and crap.  There are, in fact, still some heavy-ass reference books in elliptical orbit.  Which has got to make some people at Encyclopedia Brittanica perk up.  There's hope, guys!

Photo, VanityFair.com.

Everybody hates the new Jessica Simpson cover of Vanity Fair, almost as much as they hate the story.  To the Backlash Mobile!

• Entertainment Weekly says there isn't enough new insight into how she's battling the Epic Fat that has a stranglehold on her upper thighs.  At least, not enough to justify the "You Call This FAT?" teaser on the cover.  They also carp that she has no new movie or album pending.  Why would VF waste their time with someone neither dieting nor newsworthy?
  

Valid? It's true!  No insight into The Fat is revealed in the piece -- or none from Simpson's own lips, anyway.  For that, please glance above the gum at every other glossy in the checkout stand.  But if there are no cellulite revelations, whence the cover quotation marks?  Is VF author Rich Cohen supposed to have uttered the "You Call This" bit?  Or is the mag merely surmising our thoughts, omnisciently, as we marvel at the static cling of J.Simp's white goddess gown?

Vapid?  Way to show your hand there, EW.  We know you feel that there's no point in writing about an entertainer if you're not helping to shill their crap, but eek.  Do you have to say it so plainly?

• Vulture over at New York's site has beef with the fact that no new ground is covered in the piece, which VF has entitled "The Jessica Question." For those of us who've followed the Family Simpson since the "Newlyweds" days, it's basically a 5,000-word snoozer of a background file on her journey from purity ring-wearing pop tart to country-crooning girlfriend of a Dallas Cowboy.
  

Valid?  Yes, it's true -- Cohen never answers the question that Cohen posits, which is whether Jessica will reinvent and prosper into her 30s, or simply become a starlet whose apex came when she was on Vanity Fair's cover.

Vapid? We think the new ground is in Mario Testino's photos. Jessica looks elegant and poised -- quick, when was the last time that happened? Loosely swathed in a masculine bathrobe, with a gleaming platinum bob, she looks like a poolside Grace Kelly in "High Society."  It's Conde Nastification.  Like that time that Vogue got its uptown hands on Sienna Miller, and actually brushed her hair.

• MSNBC is annoyed at the inconsistency that a J.Simp cover represents -- this year in Vanity Fair covers, we've had Barack Obama, Tina Fey and Gisele Bundchen. Which one of these is not like the others?
  

Valid?  Tina Fey on top of the world was a high point that the June cover doesn't match, nor approach -- it sopped equally to old-timey sex appeal (lusty pin-up!) and highbrow smarts (Balanchine's "Stars and Stripes," anyone?).  Though Jessica's trademark curves pack plenty of the former, she's famous for an absence of the latter.

Vapid? Tell us: What is the difference between Gisele's and Jessica's cover?  Both stories touch on the girls' respective relationships with major NFL quarterbacks. Both have little to no news peg whatsoever.  Both women talk about the media's intrusion into their personal lives.  Both make cover-worthiness out of their physiques -- Gisele perhaps moreso, as she's essentially in her birthday suit.  But the model's cover was par for the course, while the singer's is silly and demeaning.  Huh?

Actor Dom DeLuise -- never without a toothy smile and his signature newsboy cap -- died yesterday in his sleep while surrounded by family in Santa Monica, his son Michael DeLuise confirmed to reporters today.  The chubby comedian, 75, had a lengthy career; he was a fixture in Mel Brooks films like "Blazing Saddles" and "Spaceballs," and became a familiar face as the pitchman for Ziploc bags in the 1980s.  Here, some of his most memorable moments:

• Keep Buying Subway, 'Chuck' Lovers!  NBC announced part of its fall line-up yesterday at its early advertisers' meetings -- but deigned to comment on the future life of its bubble shows, like "Chuck" or "Law & Order."  The network will pick up new dramas "Mercy," "Day One," "Parenthood" and "Trauma," as well as comedies "100 Questions" and "Community."  It will also sustain "Parks & Recreation," "Southland," "Heroes," and more. [Variety]

• 'Top Chef' Snags Bit of Glory.  The James Beard Awards were doled out yesterday, and while "Top Chef" head judge Tom Colicchio was nominated for best chef, he didn't win.  Still, a fellow "Top Chef" judge -- albeit a guest judge -- did snare the prize: Dan Barber, of New York City's Blue Hill and upstate New York's Blue Hill at Stone Barns, won for his work on farm-to-table, artisanal cooking.  Both Barber and his restaurant (the site of a show challenge) were featured in an episode of "Top Chef: Season 5." [Reuters]

• Car Chase Goes Crash on Cage Set.  The filming of a car chase scene in Nicholas Cage's latest film went out of control on Monday, crashing into a restaurant in Times Square and minorly injuring two pedestrians.  The film, called "The Sorcerer's Apprentice," is based on a sequence in Disney's "Fantasia," and stars Cage with "Nick and Norah"/"Tropic Thunder" star Jay Baruchel. [People]
  

The Kentucky Derby!  If you missed this thrilling one, an historic run that New York Times is calling downright restorative to a sport that's seen scant good news, watch above. The best part is that the announcer -- longtime race caller Tom Durkin -- seems to be caught unawares by the Mine That Bird win, and never alludes to his massive charge up the inside rail.

In a performance in Connecticut, a "crazed" fan of Britney Spears' ambled up on stage and toward the blonde performer, in the middle of her rendition of "Womanizer." A bit funny that Spears was, at the time, attired like a police officer and wielding a club.

"American Idol" David Cook, who was an emcee on Saturday for D.C.'s Race For Hope, to benefit brain cancer research, announced in an emotional speech to the crowd that his brother Adam had passed away on the previous day, due to his long struggle with the disease.

• Oldest Cook Brother Dies of Brain Cancer. "American Idol" winner David Cook lost his brother Saturday -- Adam Cook, 37, had been struggling with brain cancer since before his younger brother made the show.  He made the decision to stop chemotherapy treatments, which no longer seemed to be helping his advanced sickness, earlier this year.  He's survived by his wife and two kids. [The Associated Press]
  

• 'Wolverine' Has Strong Opening Weekend.  It didn't quite catch "Iron Man" and his $102 million opening weekend, but "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" still took the box-office crown this weekend with 20th Century Fox's best-ever non-holiday weekend opening.  At $87 million, the Hugh Jackman superhero flick beat out "Ghost of Girlfriends Past" ($15.3 million) and the second weekend of "Obsessed" ($12.2 million). [Variety]

• So You Wanna Get Inside the Vatican, Eh?  "Angels and Demons" director Ron Howard said the Vatican tried to interfere with and blockade the film's production in parts of Rome -- no big surprise, given that the fictional book talks about how hard it is for the main characters to get access.  (Oh yeah -- and the fact that the film is about crazed members of the Vatican's inner circles). The papal enclave, meanwhile, claims that Howard's statements are merely a publicity stunt.  [The Associated Press]
  

This just across the wire: Armed burglars have stolen a valuable Salvador Dali painting, per the Associated Press -- no story yet, just the headline. Their sources are Dutch police.  More to come!

*UPDATE, 12:38 p.m.:  Masked, armed robbers threatened the guards at a Netherlands musuem and made off with two paintings, one by surrealist Dali, the Associated Press is reporting via the Boston Herland.  The piece says that the Dali work in question is a gouache rendering called "Adolescence," about 18 by 12 inches.  The armed thieves also took a painting by Polish art deco artist Tamara de Lempicka.  Read the full report here.

Broadway's beloved blonde bombshell is Kristin Chenoweth, who rocketed to fame as Glinda in "Wicked," has a new memoir out and made us all laugh as Reese Witherspoon's older sister in "Four Christmases."  She talks about her drug history, gives us a run-down on the size of her brain and sings us a famous showtune. Click the player to view!

• Jackman & Co. to Jack Up Box Office.  No competition here -- summer's first blockbuster movie, "X-Men Origins: Wolverine," has little competition for a big box office sweep. "Ghost of Girlfriends Past" is another star-studded film opening, but as a rom-com with as-yet shaky reviews, the film looks to make little impact.  20th Century Fox has specific goals in mind for the X-Men film: to equal or best the $102 million "Iron Man" opening last year. [Variety]

• Levinson Returns to Comfort Zone.  Here's a sentence that could've been written at any point in the last two decades: Director Barry Levinson will make a film about his life, and it will be set in Baltimore. "Sixty-Six" will follow a group of characters who come of age in 1966, dealing with the Vietnam War and other historical hallmarks of the era.  A diner will be the center of social life. Surprise! [The Hollywood Reporter]
  

• Going Gaga for Hair Dye?  What is with weird celebrity hair dye being the biggest non-swine flu story this week?  When Kim Kardashian wore a blonde wig, it was big news. Now that Leighton Meester is blonde, and Julia Roberts is sporting pink highlights (for her kids!), the tabs can't get enough.  [People]