by Seth Colter Walls

I was trying not to get my hopes up. We've been hearing for years that Raekwon intended to serve us an encore helping of his 1995 classic Only Built 4 Cuban Linx. What we got instead were some other albums and OK mixtapes. Plus, given the weirdly diminishing returns of a lot of the Wu-Tang Clan's solo-member efforts, it wasn't unreasonable to think that even if Raekwon managed to bring out a sequel, it might fail to measure up. But earlier this year, we got a release date for Part II. Then it was pushed back. That wasn't so upsetting, because a lot of us still didn't believe it would ever happen anyway. Now it looks like September 8 truly is the date. Raekwon has signed on the dotted line with EMI. And now a cut, titled "House Of Flying Daggers," was played at a Hot 97 event. It's a burner. Of course, it wasn't long before someone upped a radio-rip to YouTube. Check it out (and yeah, since it was out over the air, it's the clean version, and thus totally SFW, unless your workplace has an anti-spitting fire policy):

[CLICK MORE>> TO VIEW FULL POST]

The first fresh-baked batch of Terrell Owens' honey-oat cereal, officially unveiled in Buffalo yesterday, is an all-pro seller. "By next week, the initial wave—we have two truckloads—will be gone," Ty Ballou, president and CEO of the cereal's producer, PLB Sports, told NEWSWEEK this morning. Even after a long day at work, Ballou says that when he got home last night, he plopped down in front of his home computer to watch the Pay Pal orders pour in: "We're racing production to try and restock the shelves... it's a marketing dream right now."  Curious as we are about how you sell a bowl of T.O.—especially in a matter of hours—we picked Ballou's brain about his business. Which athletes make for good mustard, and who's a better candidate for a horseradish sauce?  Who gets to decide what T.O. tastes like?  The answers await in our chat with Ballou, excerpted below:

[CLICK MORE>> TO VIEW FULL CHAT]

by Lauren Horwitch

Remember the days when men had to wear a jacket and tie to work every day? Of course you do—if you’re a fan of Mad Men,the Emmy-winning show set it a Manhattan advertising agency circa 1962.Since the actors on the show—Jon Hamm, John Slattery, VincentKartheiser, Bryan Batt and Robert Morse—are perhaps the last guys thisside of Wall Street saddled with a monkey suit, we asked them to dresscasually for our photo shoot and, frankly, they looked relieved to lettheir hair down (or at least to leave the Brylcreem out of it). To helpthem get into a groovy mood, we also set up a poker table in the middleof the Sterling Cooper set. “It is remarkable how much we can do inL.A., how much we can fake it,” says twice Emmy-nominated Hamm, whomTina Fey dubbed “the handsomest living human.” As Hamm throws a subtle,over-the-shoulder smile at the camera, you realize that was actually anunderstatement. (Oops, so much for journalistic objectivity.)

[CLICK MORE>> TO VIEW FULL STORY]

A Serious Man—Oct. 2, 2009

(Ed: This is part of a recurring series, in which we dish on newly released trailers—then solicit your feedback. Tell us if you'll see the movie below, in the comments!)

THE LOOK: Top-notch production values—the film promises to be absolutely gorgeous to watch, with sleek, quirky shots and retro tones. And we love the "Cell Block Tango"-style melding of diegetic sound into a really cool, percussive backdrop. It's a seductive hook.

THE FEEL: No surprise that 1967-set A Serious Man will brim with the old Coen leitmotif: brutal violence (skull bashing?) masquerading as black slapstick. But is that a Dumbledore cameo? Also, you might feel a twinge irked that there's not a familiar, Hollywood face among the ensemble cast. Or perhaps that's refreshing?

GRIPES? Minor! Hard to get a read on the plot from the clip, as it's even more confusing than the nonsensical Burn After Reading trailer. Of course, that's partially the point. Better to reveal too little than to run through all your material in 90 seconds.

What do you think—come October, will you shell out for a ticket?

Jimmy Fallon has been begging the Saved by the Bell cast to do a reunion on his show for as long as he's been on air. And finally this week, we get our long-awaited reunion. But it's not on Fallon. It's on the cover of People magazine, which landed a photo shoot and interview with five of the six Saved by the Bell stars (the only one missing: Dustin Diamond, a.k.a. Screech). What happened? Why did the Bayside clan ditch Fallon, and where is Screech anyway?

NEWSWEEK sat down for an interview with Mark-Paul Gosselaar (Zack Morris) in June, just a few days after he parodied his old Saved by the Bell character on a segment on Fallon that quickly went Internet viral. Here are the things we learned, printed here for the very first time.

[CLICK MORE>> TO READ FULL CHAT]

by Seth Colter Walls

The Fiery Furnaces have a resume full of quirks--singing about an internet cafes in Damascus, the odd verse written in Inuit--that makes them sound like a band dreamed up by an absurdist novelist. After their breakout indie hit Blueberry Boat, the band, led by brother and sister duo Matthew and Eleanor Friedberger, recorded an album sung principally by their gravelly-voiced grandmother. Yet their newest disc, I'm Going Away, is a pivot back to less-fussed-with melodic bliss. That doesn't mean they're an easy interview, though. They played two songs for Newsweek and spoke with Seth Colter Walls about bowling teams (for some reason), their TV ambitions, and classical music. Excerpts:

[CLICK MORE>> TO VIEW FULL CHAT]

It's pretty much impossible these days to go to the movies and not see a trailer for an upcoming 3-D release—that is, if you're not seeing a 3-D movie to begin with. But it's not just new movies that are now bursting off the screen; studios are remastering every old Tom, Dick, and Harry Potter into 3-D films. Now, it's Titanic's turn. James Cameron confirmed to MTV that he will follow the lead of other remastering directors, like George Lucas, who's promised to re-release the three original Star Wars movies, and Tim Burton, who's practically cornered the 3-D market. And while remastering is becoming increasingly common, we have to say: we're not sure it's right. Aren't we setting an alarming precedent here? Will any movie be spared?

Now that Titanic is taking the plunge into these icy, oh-so-chartered waters, we rate some of the splashiest 3-D releases of the coming months (links to trailers):

CANNOT WAIT: Avatar. There's a reason it took 14 years to make this movie: James Cameron's initial vision couldn't be executed due to technological limitations—ones that no longer exist. From what we hear, the result breaks the mold for sci-fi movies. Even the measly footage in the teaser trailer is enough to see that the film will be an incredible spectacle. Because of this, Avatar is the rare 3-D release that propels the genre forward, instead of smearing lipstick on a pig.

GROOVY: Alice in Wonderland. Director Tim Burton was an early adopter of 3-D, and this multicolor dream of a movie looks like a dazzling, overstimulating mix of live action and subconscious conjuring. Just like Lewis Carroll intended.

MILDLY EXCITING: Toy Story franchise. Toy Story and Toy Story 2 will each have a limited two-week run in October and February, respectively, and if Pixar showed us anything with Up, it's that they can make 3-D a subtle and seamless art. Still, we've already seen the movies and, while they're great, it's not like the computer-generated animation didn't pop before.

ON THE BUBBLE: Titanic: 3D. A big part of us is heaving an ocean-liner-size sigh over this one: something about seeing T-I-T-A-N-I-C spelled on our local theater marquee makes us feel like we've barely advanced as a society in 12 years. But Titanic is, to its core, a disaster movie—more so than a romance or a period drama. And seeing the spectacular sinking effects in 3-D—and maybe Kate's alabaster ... features—would be worth a ticket.

SIGH: Shrek Forever After. We know the Shrek movies are all about acceptance of things like in-your-face farts, but we can't help rolling our eyes. At least there's a blessed hint at finality in the title.

ANNOYING: Beauty and the Beast. Not even sure how this is going to work. Yes, Beauty and the Beast looks flat and old school compared to today's CGI kid's movies, but that's part of the charm. This 1991 fairy tale is the only full-length animated film ever to be nominated for a best-picture Academy Award. (Sorry, Wall-E.) Why mess with (near) perfection?

REALLY ANNOYING: Final Destination 4. This movie about some kids cheating death—then dying off, one by one—has the potential to be the most exploitative 3-D movie ever made, if the promising trailer hasn't misled us. There are pebbles flying out from under lawn mowers; plumbing pipes coming unglued and decapitating people; shrapnel from a car explosion beaning a girl in the noggin. On second thought, maybe this movie will be awesome.

THE WORST: Step Up: 3-D. People saw the first Step Up because it had Channing Tatum, back before he was G.I. Joe. The second found a box-office boon in a long weekend. No way people are going to be tricked into this third installment. Unless Zac Efron makes a surprise appearance and gives a lap dance.

"Master thespian" William Shatner took a break from shilling for Priceline last night to do a dramatic poetry reading on The Tonight Show.  But the verse in question wasn't Keats or Auden—it was Palin. Beaucoup snaps from this corner of the coffeehouse.

by Ramin Setoodeh

"I've been through all the ups and downs I can possibly imagine," said a weepy Jillian Harris last night on The Bachelorette,and she wasn't joking. This season of the ABC reality show had so many twists and turns--the evil dude (Wes) with a secret girlfriend back home, the workaholic dude (Ed) who quit the show so he wouldn't be fired from his job, the pilot dude (Jake) who came back after elimination to spill the beans about Wes's girlfriend, the surprise return of workaholic dude (more Ed), and the even more surprising proposal at the altar from another dropped dude (Reid) we haven't even mentioned--it was almost like the show was scripted. Scripted, you say!? Do you think it was?

[CLICK MORE>> TO VIEW FULL POST]

Over the weekend, guinea pig activists (they exist!) raised our collective furry hackles by declaring Disney's latest animated offering, G-Force, to be the next 101 Dalmations. Like the puppy movie before it, they said G-Force (about a rogue band of world-saving guinea pigs) would be one of the cute and cuddly family films for which Disney is known.  They predicted it'd be a smash-hit at the box-office, due in part to 3D ticket premiums. And they said it'd be funny, thanks to its comedian stars Will Arnett, Tracy Morgan and Zach Galifianakis.

Also, it would inspire millions of children to rush to adopt, then cast aside, America's guinea pig population.  And their viewpoint is snowballing, as G-Force snagged the No. 1 spot at the box office this weekend. Per the Associated Press: "'I can tell you, every single rescue in the United States and abroad took a look at that movie trailer and said, 'Oh God, here we go,'' said Whitney Potsus, vice president of The Critter Connection, Inc., in Durham, Conn." And then the Contra Costa Times: "[A]nimal rescue groups [are] bracing for an onslaught of homeless Guinea pigs, thanks to parents caving in to children who want said rodents because they think the critters talk like Tracy Jordan [sic--Jordan is Morgan's 30 Rock character]. When the Guinea pigs/rodents end up not talking like Tracy Jordan, the kids will no longer want the animals."

Now, there are reports that Disney will put "a statement will be posted on the movie's Web site and on other promotional materials, advising viewers to be responsible and research any pet ... [they] consider adopting from a shelter," the AP reports. (**Update: We checked in with our pals at Disney, who said there is now a responsible-pet-owner disclaimer appending every single page of the G-Force website.  The official take: "Raising awareness for responsible pet ownership is important. When applicable, we stress in our materials that owning a pet is a major responsibility and requires daily care and constant attention. Before bringing a pet into your family, it is important to make sure it is suitable for your particular situation. Learn about and be willing to undertake the serious responsibilities of pet care. Always consider adoption from a reputable shelter or rescue program.")

At this point, do we stop and declare this the summer of the Anti-Movie Activist? It made world headlines when the Vatican finally deigned to rubber-stamp the sixth Harry Potter as just this side of Satanic (previous films were branded as having "subtle seductions" that could "deeply distort Christianity"). And in the same opening week as G-Force, there was major carping about Warner Brothers' horror flick Orphan, which adoption activists decried as giving orphans and adoption a bad name.

Except, it turns out that the evil Esther on the movie posters isn't really a helpless orphan (spoiler alert coming in the next sentence!). She's a whacked-out 33-year-old dwarf prostitute. 

Spokesman for the Society of Middle-Aged Dwarf Prostitution: your move.

As NBC must come to admit today, what looks good on 50 percent linen résumé paper can turn out to be kinda crappy in real life. Ben Silverman, the network's co-chair for entertainment, has scooted out the door after two years and uncountable missteps. Here is a look back at the highlights of his gallingly impressive flameout.

HIGH: The 38-year-old son of a composer first rose to his cushy position on the shoulders of Reveille, his production studio that specialized in translating European programming into American hits. Reveille was responsible for bringing U.S. versions of The Office and The Biggest Loser to NBC; the shows remain two of the network's biggest hits.

SORT OF HIGH: Sells Reveille to Elizabeth Murdoch for an estimated $200 million, of which he takes a massive $125 million cut.  It comes, however, at a reputational cost: He was blasted for perhaps inappropriately muddling his personal business interests with those of NBC.

ON THE BUBBLE: Helps keep Jay Leno via the deal that switched the comedian to a 10 p.m. spot. First seen as savvy, but prior to its launch, no one can predict how successful it will be; to date, NBC's other late-night maneuvering (Conan, Fallon) has fared poorly.

LOW: Celebrates 24 Emmy nominations for Reveille shows in 2007 with a huge house party in Hollywood Hills, replete with bikini babes dancing on pool rafts and a rented, caged white tiger. Of the party, Silverman defended himself like a true gentleman: "You looked around and saw so many beautiful women. But then you looked closer and it's like, Hey, that's Molly Sims. See what I mean? Just a totally sick party."

LOWER: To Esquire, in a so-bad-it's-bad profile of him sporting a "white V-neck" and a mangy sorta-beard, he reeled off intelligent gems about the competition. "The industry hasn't seen an executive like me in a long time. Traditionally, development executives rise through a specific subsection of the TV business—prime time, network, scripted programming. They're basically D-girls," he says, using the derogatory industry slang for cute young development execs with little power."That's what [ABC Entertainment president] Steve McPherson is, that's what [Fox Entertainment president] Kevin Reilly is. That's bad vernacular, but they're all D-girls."

EVEN LOWER: Silverman's key asset—his eye for creative, interesting television and talent—failed to pan out in a big way for the network. An adaption of Australia's Kath and Kim, a reboot of American Gladiator, the Ford-hawking Knight Rider, the religious-subtext-filled drama Kings, the flagging Friday Night Lights—barely any of the Silverman-shepherded projects at NBC took off, and several lasted only a season. Certainly there were no watershed West Wing moments. And it's almost sitcom-laughtrack-funny that Silverman's departure comes now—the month that Friends, NBC's last major, zeitgeist-y comedy, turned 15.  That's a lot of candles.

THE LOWEST OF THE LOW: Gotta be this video, linked here and above. Posted online in mid-May to Nikki Finke's Deadline Hollywood blog, the video clip of Silverman singing idiotically in an Aspen, Colo., bathroom was the ultimate embarrassment for NBC. It's already amazing that a nearly 40-year-old man can so consistently tagged as a "young wunderkind" by the industry trades. But with this clip, Silverman cemented for all eternity his reputation as a 19-year-old frat boy.

You might not know the name "Sam Worthington" now, but given that you can already preorder a collectible figurine of him here, you might want to learn it. Worthington is a 32-year-old Aussie actor and star of James Cameron's Avatar, the long-awaited (14 years!) alien thriller from the Titanic and Terminator director. Avatar doesn't hit theaters until mid-December, but Cameron screened 25 minutes of the 3-D movie last night at Comic-Con, to an audience beside itself in raptures. Part of their glee? The performance of Worthington in the role of Jake Sully, a paraplegic soldier who beds aliens, tames pterodactyls, and is generally badass in every frame of the blockbuster.

But will audiences flock to see a newcomer? Cameron cast Worthington after watching him say "Uh-uh" on an audition tape, before the release of his first major film (Terminator Salvation). But even though the director predicted that Worthington would "blow Christian Bale off the screen" in McG's Terminator, the movie tanked.

To see for yourself how Worthington fares, you'll have to wait until Aug. 21—Cameron-mandated "Avatar Day," on which 15 minutes of the film will be screened for fans. For a scene-by-scene breakdown of what was shown at Comic-Con—duh, there are spoilers—check out i09's synopsis here.

by Seth Colter Walls

Some musicians work only on their own terms, while others aim tosatisfy the charts. Maxwell is doing both at the same time. Afterditching the music game for eight years in order to pursue a “normallife,” Maxwell’s latest CD shot to the top of the Billboard 200 duringits first week of release. He spoke to Newsweek’s Seth Colter Wallsabout what changed in the interim – including Auto-Tune, hip-hop, andthe urge to make babies of his own, as opposed to just baby-makin’music. Excerpts from their chat:

After eights years away from the game, did you expect to debut at No. 1 on the Billboard albums chart?
It'sa good feeling to know you're not irrelevant! Yeah, look, I'm alwayspleasantly surprised. I don't walk around drinking my Kool-Aid,thinking I'm the ish of all times. You just cross your fingers andhope. I'm just grateful people went out and bought the album. Theycould have gone online, found a torrent, and stolen it!

I read that you were unsure of your relevance, after the rise of Auto-Tune. What do you think now?
I'malways careful with the way I answer on this. I don't want to be theguy who's like the older guy. [In a wheezy voice] When we were doing itwe were going it like this. [Laughs] Because when I was starting out,there were people saying the same old ish about me. Every generationhas the right to graffiti stamp the era the way they so desire. Whatsome see as a gimmick, is what they see as their calling card. Butthose things can date themselves pretty quickly. For those people whoreally execute, it can be so amazing. If I hear a T-Pain song in aclub, I start nodding. When everybody starts doing it, that's when it'slike: I got it.

To view full chat, click here.

(double-click the video to play) 

by Andrew Bast

How does it feel? Parsing the rumors about the return of one-time R&B sensation D’Angelo, it feels anguished. And sad. And even a little pathetic. You most likely remember D’Angelo, whose real name is Michael Eugene Archer, from the video that made him famous. It was for “Untitled (How Does it Feel),” from his 2000 Grammy-winning release, “Voodoo,” and there is really only one thing to remember: D’Angelo naked, ripped to the core, the camera lingering on his torso. And so a musical heartthrob was born.

No matter how spectacular “Voodoo” proved to be—and it was spectacular, elevating D’Angelo from neo-soul pioneer to the wildly popular genre’s commanding steward, it was even better than his debut release, “Brown Sugar”—it was the video for “United” that foisted him into superstardom. Overnight, he faced a massive, fawning female audience, many of whom were after his muscles more than his musicianship. This was meant to be the beginning of something great. But almost a decade later, it looks like the video might have marked more of an end than a beginning.

Will the singer rise again?

To tie in with our front-page package about Facebook─happy birthday, guys!─NEWSWEEK's Sarah Frank picks the top spoofs of the social-networking site that YouTube has to offer. Be warned: a few clips are NSFW.  Click to view!

"Facebook Manners and You"
This swell imitation of a 1950s educational filmstrip introduces us to Alice and her steady boyfriend, Timmy. Alice checks “The Electric Friendship Generator” from her “computing machine” and learns Timmy’s been making some suspicious updates to his profile. That’s a no-no, Timmy.


"Facebook Infomercial Parody"
USC students riff on Facebook’s many relationship-status categories to the catchy tune of Natalie Cole’s “This Will Be” (a.k.a. that song from the eHarmony dating-site ads).


"Facebook in Real Life"
British comedy sketch group Idiots of Ants imagine what it would be like if that kid you never really liked in middle school tried to be your friend in real life. (IGNORE!)


"A Slap in the Facebook"
If the thought of your grandmother bickering with a fellow octogenarian about who’s allowed to poke who makes you squeamish, just try to remember these are actors and your grandparents still have trouble with speed-dial, which probably means you’ll never encounter them on a social-networking site. (If you’re one of the unlucky few to have a grandparent on Facebook, maybe skip this video.)


"Facebook-Off"
CollegeHumor brings us the most overdramatized (yet equally hilarious) Facebook parody. Mimicking Face/Off, the 1997 action film starring John Travolta and Nicolas Cage, this spoof’s protagonist is so jealous of the big man on campus, he breaks into his Facebook profile in hopes of becoming him. (Cue intense movie-trailer music.)

"The Subterranean Facebook Blues"
This re-creation of Bob Dylan’s "Subterranean Homesick Blues" video isn’t the funniest spoof in the bunch, but earns points for a great impression of Dylan vocally, while also dropping those big white cards at just the right moments. Sample lyric: “It’s kinda like MySpace, without so many emos.”


"Facebook Song"
Be warned: this ode to Facebook by comedy duo Rhett & Link will undoubtedly be stuck in your head for the remainder of your membership on the site. Sample lyric: “It’s more than a want, it’s more than a need, I’d shrivel up and die without my mini-feed.”


"25 Things I Hate About Facebook"
In the Facebook rant to end all Facebook rants, comedian Julian Smith comes off as a charming curmudgeon as he lists his complaints in that ever-annoying "25 Things" format.

by Ramin Setoodeh

American Idol without Paula Abdul is like Christmas without presents, summer without sunshine, Three's Company without Suzanne Somers. Simon Cowell might be the mastermind at the judges' table, but Paula is the show's No. 1 star. When she's at her best—the cleavage, the tears, the dancing—who cares about any of the contestants on stage? When she's at her worst—the slurring, the crazy talk, the bickering with Simon—she's even better.

But it looks like Paula's job might be on the line. In an interview Sunday with the Los Angeles Times, her manager David Sonenberg said: "Very sadly, it does not appear she's going to be back on Idol." Then Paula went on Twitter Sunday afternoon and told her fans: "If it weren't for you, this specific time and situation would be a whole lot worse." Then Sunday night, Paula went on a binge—and wrote personal messages to dozens and dozens of her Twitter fans (e.g., "I love you too" and "YOU make me smile" and "Happy Birthday Julianna," to a girl who seems to be spearheading some sort of Keep Paula campaign). This could all be an elaborate bargaining ploy to get Fox to offer Paula more money. But the new season of Idol starts filming in just a few days. Maybe Paula really is getting the pink slip.

In which case, whaaaaat?!?!?!? Is the show really dumping Paula Abdul and keeping Randy Jackson and Kara DioGuardi? How is that even possible? If American Idol loses Paula, the No. 1 show on TV will never be the same again. Here are 7 reasons why Idol needs it biggest cheerleader.

(1) Let's start with the cheerleader part. Paula might like to congratulate every contestant in her critiques—even Sanjaya—but she's also the only judge on the show who really seems to care. Even if she's not always coherent, she still somehow manages to remember tiny details about the contestants' songs and past performances. If you lose Paula, you lose Idol's heart and soul.

(2) Paula brings drama. Every time she's on the screen, you can't help but sit up in your chair. Is she going to slap Simon? Is she going to dis Kara? Is she going to fall over? It's what makes Idol must-see TV.

(3) Paula also makes Simon better. This is important, because Cowell seems incredibly bored with Idol—especially last season. Without Paula right next to him, he's going to have ... Kara DioGuardi.

(4) And that brings us to Kara. If Paula leaves, she's the only girl on the judge's panel. Kara is sweet, but she's also like Jenilee Harrison. Don't remember her? Harrison played Cindy Snow, Chrissy's long-lost cousin on Three's Company who suddenly appeared after star Suzanne Somers got the boot. Kara doesn't make a big impression either. And she gets the booby prize last season for cowriting "No Boundaries," the worst Idol finale song ever.

(5) Paula is a free publicity machine. Every time she gives an interview, she grabs headlines—whether it's because she accidentally reveals the identity of next week's guest mentor (which she does so often it can't really be an accident) or when she accidentally told Ladies' Home Journal last spring she had a 12-year addiction to painkillers (and then said she never said that). Fox doesn't even need to run ads for Idol. Paula gets the show all the attention it needs.

(6) The dancing. Is it bad? Is it good? It doesn't matter. It's better than anything you'll ever see on Dancing with the Stars.

(7) What will Paula do? Honestly, the unemployment rate is too high already. Does anybody actually expect Paula to find another job? Please American Idol, keep her. Save the show. It doesn't matter how much money she wants, because she's worth it. If you need to trim your budget—times are tough, after all!—get rid of Randy Jackson.

In honor of 15 years elapsing since the creation of Friends—that seminal show that made it OK to be lost and loveless as a young adult—Ramin Setoodeh writes that 20-something coupledom is still nowhere to be found in movies and television. Plenty of screentime goes to tweenage puppy love (Juno) and to grappling with committment in your 30s (Funny People, ). What's keeping us from exploring the decade between? Check the story out here.

Brüno is falling faster at the box office than a lead anvil aimed at Wile E. Coyote. After winning last weekend with a $30.4 million take—seemingly solid, but upon closer inspection, a highly tepid $11,040 per theater—Brüno has dropped nearly daily, from first place on Friday to fourth by the middle of this week. The Sacha Baron Cohen comedy clung to second place in daily domestic grosses for Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, behind 3-D family film Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs. But in the battle of the franchises, it slid to third behind the weeks-old sequel Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen on Tuesday. And Wednesday, Brüno was further auf'd by Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince—the new No. 1 thanks to record midnight showings.

Why the quick descent? There were the critical reviews, of course, and our pals at TIME say the Debbie Downer tone on Twitter is to blame. There's also the unfortunate sandwiching in Brüno's release platform—hey there, record-setting summer tentpoles! But the fact that HP6 netted so many ($22.2 million!) midnight viewers is a clue: if a PG-rated kids' movie like Half-Blood Prince is effectively cornering the late-night, adult-aged audience, who's left to see Brüno?

Some sources predict an astonishing $200 million five-day open for HP6. That damning figure, Ice Age's and Transformers's sustained strength, and Friday's indie darling (500) Days of Summer—likely to hook some urban-center audiences (Brüno's only hope)—all mean the Austrian has little chance of even remotely approaching Borat's $128 million stateside haul.

by Joshua Alston

The Shield
By far, 2009’s most gobsmacking oversight. The final season of The Shield featured some of the most compelling performances we’ve seen all year, and the series finale was among the best ever. And yet ... no acting nominations, no writing nominations, no directing nominations. No nothing. Given Emmy’s usual soft spot for outgoing shows, I can make neither heads nor tails of this one.

Kyle Chandler and Connie Britton, Friday Night Lights
I hate to even mention the injustice of leaving out television’s most complex and credible marriage and the actors who bring it to life. Friday Night Lights is snubbed every year for some reason, and while I didn’t expect a best-drama nomination for the show, I always hope that either one or both of the pair will get a nod. No such luck.

In Treatment
HBO’s über-talky therapy drama winds up in the classic Emmy conundrum. It’s highly serialized, and nearly impossible to sum up in just a few episodes for Emmy voters who haven’t been watching on their own. As a result, the show made a good showing in the acting categories, including nods for Gabriel Byrne, Hope Davis, and Dianne Wiest, but the series, which was just as excellent in its second season as in its first, pulled up short.

Jill Scott, The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency
This one I thought might be a long shot, and I have nary a complaint with any of the women nominated for best actress in a drama series. Still, I would have loved to see Jill Scott’s performance as the unsinkable Precious Ramotswe in the category. The most irritating thing about Emmy voters is their tendency to latch onto nominees and hold them with a bulldog’s grip. Nothing against Holly Hunter, whom I love, but a new face in the category would have been a treat, especially one as joyful as Scott’s.

Josh Holloway, Lost
It’s always good to see network television’s most demanding (and arguably rewarding) drama among the series nominees, but this season of Lost belonged to Holloway. After being relegated for the bulk of season four, Holloway commanded this season as Sawyer, showing that he has much more to offer than a perpetually bare chest. It’s a shame Emmy didn’t agree.

Vincent Kartheiser, Mad Men
Everyone hates his character, the sniveling careerist Pete Campbell. So why isn’t there a consensus on the actor who plays him? Kartheiser brings a desperation and longing to the least-endearing character at Sterling Cooper, and he should have been recognized for it.

Annie Wersching, 24
As a series, 24 hasn’t been on top of its game from some time now. But of the complaints I could make about the show's seventh season, Annie Wersching is not among them. She was stellar as Jack Bauer’s partner Renee Walker, showing how easily it is for a moral absolutist to slide further and faster toward relativism.

Eva Longoria-Parker, Desperate Housewives
I’m just about tired of complaining about this one. That Longoria-Parker is still a bridesmaid after five seasons of this show is simply a travesty, especially considering that Desperate Housewives is included in the comedy categories, and she’s the most talented comedic actress of the bunch. This one may never happen.

Katey Sagal, Sons of Anarchy
I would have been most pleasantly surprised by a nomination for Sagal, who brilliantly played against character in the underappreciated FX biker series. Sagal’s performance was sad and ferocious, and with the show’s increased profile for its upcoming second season, don’t be surprised to see her break into next year’s list of nominees.

Better Off Ted
For a show with such an awful name, Better Off Ted is one of the most reliably funny comedies of the midseason, if not network television as a whole. The goings-on at Veridian Dynamics are always clever, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see this show nipping at 30 Rock by next year.

Editor's note: Wait. Isn't Josh forgetting something? Oh, yeah: True Blood getting shut out in the best-drama and best-acting (no Anna Paquin?) categories. Come back tomorrow to Newsweek.com for his essay on why he can't sink his teeth into the HBO vampire show.

An open thread for you to sound off.  Here are the lucky contenders, announced this morning:

[CLICK MORE>> TO VIEW FULL POST]

Armed with but an outstretched twig and smudged glasses, Harry Potter has managed to rob his heat-packing fellow Brit, James Bond. And here's how he did it:

At 12:01 a.m. Wednesday, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince became the best midnight opener ever in U.S. box-office history, netting $22.2 million. If the numbers hold, the "sixquel" in the series is on its way to becoming the best overall Wednesday opening and having one of the best opening weekends of all time. The film sold more advance tickets than any other Potter, and finished only behind Star Wars: Episode III in all-time advance ticket sales. Worldwide and unadjusted for inflation, this means the wizard will wrest top-franchise honors from Bond, whose 23 films have taken in a total of $5.074 billion worldwide (before Half-Blood Prince, Potter held just under $4.5 billion).

Domestically, the Potter franchise trails the Star Wars films ($1.9 billion), the Bond movies ($1.6 billion), and the Batman series—the seven films since Tim Burton's 1989 reboot have earned $1.45 billion to Potter's $1.41 billion—but Potter is predicted to blow past all three franchises with HP6's run. And analysts say the ceiling on Potter's opening cash hasn't yet been reached, with the final book in the series, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, being split into two films.  "When franchises come to a close, especially franchises of this nature, that final picture has a chance at being one of the highest-grossing of the series," says Brandon Gray, president and publisher of Box Office Mojo, a box-office tracking site. 

But how long can the wizard wield the prize? As long as he wants, says Rotten Tomatoes editor in chief Matt Atchity.  Star Wars is a nonthreat, "short of Lucas making good on that long, long ago promise of doing three more movies," he says. The Lord of the Rings, the Oscar-winning franchise for which directors Peter Jackson and Guillermo del Toro are cooking up more films, doesn't have the same "broad-based appeal."  And for future Batman installments, Gray says that The Dark Knight's massive success isn't likely to repeat itself, as that movie's record-setting attendance was propelled by the tragic death of one of its stars.

Still, 40 years, 23 films, 6 actors, and countless dollars have proved that Bond, while not the most consistent franchise quality-wise, is the most resilient—kind of like Voldemort. "In 10 or 12 years, when there's another three or four Bond movies out, Bond may take the title back—the only strong contender [to beat Potter] is going to be Bond," Atchity says."He's the only one that could possibly take that title back. There's more life in that character."

There's a potential wrench for Potter, also, in splitting the final two films—a tactic that Gray says has a checkered past in movie history.  "One would hope that each movie is self-contained, because that's the ideal route to success," he says. "If it's totally dependent on the follow-up, that'll be tricky."

Otherwise, Harry, welcome to the penthouse.

by Nicki Gostin

Entourage returned this week for its sixth season, and Vincent Chase (OK, Adrian Grenier) sat down with NEWSWEEK’s Nicki Gostin for 11 questions.

1. So what can we expect this season?
It's getting back to basics. It's a return to season one. Vince is back on top, but his boys are starting to do well, too, and they're spreading their wings. That's hard for Vincent, to see his boys grow up.

2. Do you ever worry about the show jumping the shark?
There is always a potential for that, but I think we solved that with Aquaman.

3. Do people really think you're Vincent Chase?
Oh, yeah. I get called Vincent far more than I do my real name, but that's OK. It's not like I play a mass murderer. Vincent is a great character, and people really like him.

4. The year before the show started and the year after, was there a huge difference in the number of women hitting on you?
Fortunately, I never had a problem in that area. I always dated, so it's not like the show changed that for me. But that's not what I'm about anyway. I try to use my fame to raise awareness about the environment.

5. Could you ever date someone who didn't care about the environment?
No, but I've dated vegetarians, and we've had big fights about that because I'm not vegetarian. But I couldn't date someone who took no interest in the subject.

6. So have you ever flown by private jet?
I have, but I don't have a lease on one.

7. Still, private jets burn up a huge amount of fuel.
I'm a modern environmentalist, which means I believe funding research so we can do the things we do now but in a more environmentally friendly manner. Also, I'm a big believer in offsetting flights by buying carbon points.

8. But can you really justify flying in a kiwi fruit all the way from New Zealand?
I personally love kiwi fruit and find them very refreshing and tasty. We live in a global village now, and I think it's great that people can fly around the world and visit different places.

9. You have very thick eyebrows. My 18-month-old son has the beginnings of a unibrow. Any advice?
I know you're going to think I sound really corny, but it's really only important what you are like on the inside and not the outside. But I did get teased about my eyebrows when I was a kid, among other things.

10. What other things?
Well, I also have long eyelashes and I got teased for that, but it turns out the girls like the long eyelashes. Tell your son to be strong, that it will all work out.

11. Do you ever think Vincent has a much better life than you do?
Yeah, that motherf---r! I only wish I had half the life he had. No, I'm not complaining. I have a great life. This year we got to race cars. There is nothing like going 160 miles per hour. Of course, it's not really the most environmentally friendly thing to do.

Read on for a juicy excerpt from socialite Gloria Vanderbilt’s new erotic novel, “Obsession"—only, we left a few spots blank for Madlib-style reader participation.  Put your answers in the comments, but please keep it in good taste! (And if you don't, our filters will catch you—so there's no point in trying). The scene: Priscilla, a young, sexually-repressed widow, has just discovered a stack of letters uncovering her late husband’s secret kinky sex life. She decides to confront his mistress. (For our Q&A with Vanderbilt, click here).

She leads me into a room looking out over the (body of water). The first thing I spot is the (piece of furniture). It is exactly like the one in our (place), one that (man’s name) designed, covered in (noun), with rounded padded arms, the upholstery soft as (noun). A (the same piece of furniture) I love to sink into, (verb ending in -ing), and often (same man’s name as before) had tried to distract me, taking (object) from me, lifting up my (piece of clothing), skimming over my (body part), continuing until it (verb, past tense) to his satisfaction, then (verb ending in -ing) down, spreading my (body part), and, with great (adjective), (action ending in -ing) my (body part) with his (another body part), and as it (verb, past tense) I begged for more, knowing in time he would (verb) it with his (body part)—and (exclamation!)—what better way of (verb ending in -ing) an afternoon.

I watched the Michael Jackson memorial service, and feel comfortable assuming that not only was it the kind of funeral Jackson would have wanted, it was also the kind of funeral anyone would want. Given the hoopla that surrounded the service, I was pleasantly surprised by how genuinely poignant and dignified it was. The speakers and performers were heartfelt, particularly longtime friend Brooke Shields, whose speech rambled in a way that underscored her emotion, and Magic Johnson, whose anecdote about a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken was one of the sweetest and most unlikely memories I've heard yet. No one paid greater tribute, of course, than Jackson's daughter, Paris, who eulogized her father--not an international pop star--with devastating simplicity.

That a production of such scale could contain so many tiny moments of fragility is a remarkable feat. Sure, there were times when it was overpowering--I, for one, found the culminating medley of "We Are the World" and "Heal the World" a little over the top. More than that, it highlighted songs that lend themselves well to ginormous production numbers, but aren't among Jackson's best musical moments. "We Are the World" was always more functional than it was transcendent, and has not aged well. But given the largeness of Jackson's celebrity and legacy, that there weren't more choir-flanked, dove-releasing showstoppers is evidence of restraint. Jackson was surrounded by friends, fans, and well-wishers who celebrated his life and music in a touching, respectful way. Who could ask for more?

Michael Jackson's public memorial service at the Staples Center attracted a parade of impersonators, look-alikes, wannabe-dancers and others eulogizing the pop star by imitating his unique dance and dress style. Check out our gallery of creatively attired mourners, from Los Angeles to Hong Kong to Harlem and back.

As is the case with any news story that elbows all the others out of the way, the media coverage of Michael Jackson’s death has begun to spawn a backlash. That’s understandable, given how short our attention spans are, but to those dreading the wall-to-wall coverage of Jackson’s memorial, I have a simple question: how are you not completely fascinated by this? What’s so captivating about the fallout from Jackson’s death isn’t the minutiae of how he died, but rather the uncomfortable questions that arise from the most private moment of a most public person. What is the right way to celebrate a life that belonged to everyone? How does one ensure that both Michael’s family, and the strangers who thought of him as family, get to bid him farewell in a respectful manner?

By day’s end, we’ll get alternate versions of the answers to these questions, but issues so fraught can never be addressed in a way that satisfies everyone. His funeral is a 17,500-person spectacle at the Staples Center in Los Angeles with a guest list that includes Jennifer Hudson, Mariah Carey, Stevie Wonder—and possibly a billion viewers worldwide. Obama’s inauguration is so six months ago. The where-were-you-when moment of 2009, if not the aughts, is the day when the King of Pop lay in repose in a basketball arena.

The grandeur of the memorial is both fitting and tragic. What Michael’s biggest fans and harshest critics seem to agree on is that whatever Michael became he became as a result of the constant scrutiny that began when he was a child and that will continue to stalk him long after his death. Whether or not he was addicted to painkillers is still being dissected, but it’s clear that Michael was always addicted to a drug that was clearly no good for him: megafame. It almost feels like the right thing to do would be to give him the respite that eluded him when he was living. But funerals are for the living more than they are for the dead, and it’s equally logical to magnify the attention to the end of what Socrates might have called the overexamined life. Fans, after all, feel like every album, every poster, every concert ticket and commemorative T shirt is like a share of stock they’ve bought, and when a celebrity dies, it’s time to cash in.

This is what Michael would have probably wanted anyway. After all, we are talking about the guy who once floated a 30-foot golden statue of his likeness down the Thames to promote a record. He didn’t do small, and he didn’t do modest. But what’s amazing about the tricky process of planning today’s memorial is that anyone had to guess his wishes at all. His ex-wife, Lisa Marie Presley, has said in recent interviews that Michael mused that he might end up like her father, Elvis, who also died young of heart failure. If it’s true that Michael was this aware of his mortality, why didn’t he more explicitly lay out details for how he wanted his death and burial handled? It’s the suddenness of Michael’s death that caught everyone by surprise, and it seems he wasn’t any more prepared for it than the rest of us. That’s to be expected from a boy who never really grew up.

• Gallery: Photos from the Jackson Memorial Service
  

Funnyman Ray Romano resumes his role this weekend as the voice of Manny, the worrywart woolly mammoth whose whingeing made hits out of Ice Ages 1 and 2. Now, in Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs, Manny and the rest of his prehistoric gang will be in 3-D for the first time. Talk about evolution.

NEWSWEEK's Nicki Gostin sat down with the star for a chat—excerpts:

So you’re promoting Ice Age 27, right?
Yeah, feels like it.

So I guess you really enjoyed making it.
No, no, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s been a long time. It’s been eight years that we’ve been doing them. As long as they keep them interesting, then we’ll keep doing them.

Is it the easiest work you’ve ever done in your life?
No!

What’s wrong with that question?
It is convenient because you go to work and you don’t have to get dressed up, you don’t have to coerce Patty Heaton to kiss you in any scene, you don’t have to put on makeup, you don’t have to wait for lights. But it’s also different because you’re not working with any other actors. You’ve got to emote, get angry, while you’re standing in front of a microphone without moving left to right. Technically, it takes a lot of getting used to. Look, yeah, you’re not working yourself into the ground like you do in a sitcom, so in that sense it is easier.

Your character, Manny, becomes a dad. Bring back memories?
Yeah. When we recorded the scene when the baby’s born, it gets a little emotional, and I had to draw on what happened in my real life when my daughter was born. Then of course Manny thinks he knows how to be a father and he really doesn’t yet; he’s learning as he goes, and that’s all the same. I was a fumbling idiot.

Did you ever drop your daughter?
No, but when I went to pick up [my wife and daughter] at the hospital, I parked my car in a tow-away zone and I came out with my newborn in my arms and the car that was supposed to be right there was gone. So we had to take a cab back to Queens.

Was your wife ready to divorce you?
Luckily, she was still medicated. The epidural hadn’t worn off yet. My daughter’s first ride was on the meter. We had to pay 50 cents extra to have her in the car.

Your daughter must be dating by now.
Yes! I’m not as neurotic about it as my wife is. This is what I don’t get. My daughter shares everything with my wife, every conversation with her boyfriend. I remember when I was 18 and dating; I didn’t come home and tell my mom, ‘Ma, you’re never going to believe what she said today.’ But my wife gets to hear all of it and she reacts to all of it. I’m like, just relax, it's teenage love. She’s also at college. She just finished her first year.

Was that weird?
Yeah, especially for my wife because we have three boys and we took over the house. My daughter was my wife’s only ally. It was like when we pulled out of Vietnam and the Viet Cong took over.

Do you see your Everybody Loves Raymond costars?
I do. I just got back from Vegas with Brad Garrett.

I thought you two hated each other.
Why would you think that?

Because he threatened to quit Raymond over money.
That’s just business. That had nothing to do with me—that was with the network. We play a card game once a month and we do charities together. And every couple of months I play Vegas, and half the time I’m with Brad and the other half I’m with Kevin James.

Didn’t you discover him?
People think because he did a thing on my show that I discovered him, but he had a development deal before he was even on my show.

So he doesn’t owe you.
No, no. I’m going to be riding his coattails when he becomes a big movie star, which he’s about to do.

So what else have you been doing?
I’m filming a new series for TNT. It’s coming in December. I co-created it. It’s called Men of a Certain Age. It’s about three friends who are experiencing a crossroads in life. When you start wondering what’s next, who you are.

TNT is no swearing right?
You can swear. You can’t say the F word.

But you can say the S word?
Yes, you can.

So we will be hearing a cursing Ray Romano.
You don’t know how many times, nine years on Raymond, I wanted to say, "You’re full of s---, Debra!"