Isn't American politics grand? 

When Barack Obama ordered a locally-brewed Yuengling at a Pennsylvania sports bar back in March, he made sure he was sending the right message. “Is it expensive, though?" he asked a male patron. "Wanna make sure it’s not some designer beer or something.” Of course, the point of chugging a cold one with the cameras watching is to show that even though you're freakish enough to want to lead the free world, you're also fake in touch with the working man. So "designer beers" won't do. Which is why when Obama showed up at the Raleigh Times pub on the eve of this week's North Carolina primary and asked "Where's my beer?", he faced a potentially disastrous conundrum. Turns out the Raleigh Times is a hard-core beer-snob hangout known for serving premium brews like Dogfish Head Palo Santo Marron and Avery Maharaja. (D'oh.) So Obama did what any self-respecting, Maureen-Dowd-dreading politician would do: ordered the only "downscale" beer that's ironically hip enough to be served in an upscale brewpub. "PBR," he said--Pabst Blue Ribbon. What instincts. 

But Obama has a problem going forward. His next big contest is on May 20 in brewery-rich Oregon--where PBR won't cut it with the suds-obsessed locals. In fact, at a stop in Beaverton today, a few supporters openly mocked his proclivity for Pabst (video above). "When in PBR land, you drink PBR," he explained. "What's the beer of choice in Oregon?" IPA, someone shouted. "IPA?" Obama asked. "Is it good? We're gonna have to try some of that." In terms of Average-Joe street cred, Obama acquitted himself well; by not recognizing the acronym IPA (India Pale Ale), or knowing that it's a type, not a brand, of beer (like, say, stout), the Illinois senator demonstrated an admirable lack of beer snobbery. But Oregon is justly proud of intense local micobreweries like Deschutes, Hair of the Dog and Rogue, the last of which makes ales flavored with chipotle, chamomile and juniper. So if Obama wants to keep his IPA promise and please Oregonians, it appears that he may have to risk shattering his carefully cultivated "Larry the Cable Guy" image--and indulge in one of the state's "designer" drinks.

Luckily, we here at Stumper headquarters--beer snobs all of us--are happy to help. If Obama is forced choose an IPA before the 20th, we recommend Rogue's I2PA, or Imperial India Pale Ale. What it lacks in working-class grit it more than makes up in pure alcohol by volume (9.2 percent=two PBRs). The only hitch? Flavor. I2PA is heavy on the hops, meaning that it's floral, citrusy and--brace yourself, Barack--uncommonly bitter. But then again, so is every other IPA. So it looks like you're stuck.

Paging Maureen Dowd...