He's watched. He's waited. And now, finally, his moment has come. John Kerry--soldier, senator, disappointing Democratic presidential nominee--can at long last to do what he has dreamed since Nov. 2, 2004 of doing. Utter those two cursed words. "Flip flopper." About someone else. 

You could almost hear the sweet, vengeful satisfaction in Kerry's voice Thursday as he told reporters that Republican presidential nominee John McCain--a (former?) friend and one of his top 2004 veep picks--has become, like, way more of a flip-flopper than he ever was. "There was one issue on which the entire Republican campaign based itself last time," said Kerry, referring to his claim to have voted "for the $87 billion [in Iraq war funding] before [he] voted against it." "[But] it was a vote of principle. It was not a change of position." On the other hand, McCain has "complete[ly] change[d] [his] position on the actual substance" of numerous issues, said Kerry, including some that represent "fundamental value[s]." To which he added, "Nanny nanny boo boo."

He's right to crow. In 2004, critics mocked Kerry for a series of small slips, shifts of emphasis and rational responses to changing conditions. But for McCain, the reasonable process of positioning himself for a second run at the Republican presidential nomination, which began in 2003, has become an incoherent muddle of contradictions on core policy positions and principles----especially in the past two weeks. The "flip flopper" tag stuck to Kerry because it reinforced the existing impression of him as someone who wanted to have everything both ways. So far, McCain's brand--the straight-shooting maverick with unshakable convictions--has kept the label from sticking. But actually examine the record, and it's clear who's the more frequent and fervent flip-flopper of the two. Hint: he doesn't windsurf.

Take oil, for example. Running for president in 1999, McCain endorsed a federal moratorium on offshore drilling. But earlier this week, he "called for dissolving the federal ban on offshore oil drilling on the Pacific and Atlantic coasts and some parts of the eastern Gulf of Mexico." Flip Flop Number One. The next day in New Hampshire, McCain added that he "would be more than happy to examine [drilling in Alaska's Arctic National Wildlife Refuge]"--even though he'd said "I don't support drilling there" as recently as last week. Flip Flop Number Two. In each case, McCain framed his reversal as a short-term response to the skyrocketing price of gas. But experts say that it would take four to five years for any new oil to make its way to the market, and even then, consumers would save a mere three or four cents per gallon. In other words, domestic drilling is neither a quick fix nor a permanent solution--as McCain himself seemed to realize until this week. "We drill today in the false hope that doing so will solve our energy problems," he said in the Senate on Dec. 20, 2005. "But in doing so we leave future generations with a degraded environment and the same dependence on oil that we have today.” Since then, nothing has changed--except McCain's political predicament.

And so his flipping and the flopping continues. Speaking on Tuesday in Houston--the heart of oil country--McCain attacked Barack Obama for supporting a windfall profits tax on oil companies. Unfortunately, it was only a month ago that McCain said he'd be "glad to look... at the windfall profits tax" himself. Flip Flop Number Three. In 1999, McCain told reporters that "in the short term, or even the long term, I would not support repeal of Roe v. Wade." But apparently both the short and long terms have expired, as McCain now says he "do[es] not support Roe v. Wade" and "think[s] it should be overturned.”  Flip Flop Number Four. Meanwhile, McCain has 5) endorsed the view that President Bush's program of wiretapping without warrants was lawful, after previously stopping short; 6) reversed course on Bush's tax cuts, which he opposed in 2001 and 2003 but now wants to make permanent; 7) cozied up to Jerry Falwell after decrying him as a "agent of intolerance" in 2002; and 8) caved to White House demands to soften his hard-line opposition to torture.

Whew. 

To win in November, McCain must thread a near-impossible needle: satisfy a base still skeptical of his conservative credentials while appealing to moderates sick of Republican rule. So his maneuvering is understandable. What's more, elected officials should be allowed to grow and adjust--unless we want them to act like Bush. (NB: We don't.) In isolation, then, each of these reversals could probably pass as the normal stuff of politics--conditions change, constituents complain, different races require different degrees of emphasis. But at a certain point individual inconsistencies start to look like a pattern. For McCain, the danger of letting these flip flops pile up is that voters will eventually stop seeing him as a man of principle and start seeing him as a typical politician. So far, the public hasn't abandoned McCain the maverick; according to a Pew Research Center survey from May, voters still view him as "a centrist whose views are fairly close to their own." But if they flip flop, he's toast. The only thing keeping McCain competitive in this dismal climate is his reputation. Squandering it would be suicide.

Perhaps Kerry should consider investing in a dolphin costume.