Photo via SI 

Was it the Bloomin' Onion that did it?

Known to reporters on the trail as an workoutaholic who rarely goes 24 hours without hitting a treadmill, Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama made a strong bid yesterday for Exerciser-in-Chief -- or at least Post-Outback-Self-Flagellator-in-Chief --by making three separate stops at two Chicago gyms in the course of a single day. As ABC News' Sunlen Miller reports, the presumptive nominee started his Tuesday with a short morning session at the apartment building of friend and longtime aide Mike Signator, then flew to Indiana for a campaign event and a round of local TV interviews. When he returned home to Illinois, Obama again visited Signator's gym, then went home briefly before lighting out for the East Bank Club, a massive downtown facility where he regularly plays basketball. All told, Obama spent 98 minutes campaigning--and 188 minutes pumping iron.

Or did he? That's the question AP reporter Glen Johnson asked Obama spokesman Bill Burton this morning after reporters trailing the Illinois senator noticed that he displayed "a distinct lack of visible sweat" throughout the day and even arrived at the East Bank Club "dressed casually as if going out to dinner, wearing slacks, a blue blazer and flip-flops"--observations that apparently sparked speculation "about whether he was actually exercising or using the gym visits as cover for conducting vice presidential vetting or interviews." (Yes, candidates actually do stuff like this.) Burton's terse email response--"Working out"--was pretty clear. But in case anyone was still suspicious, Johnson--in what's easily the sentence of the day--provided the American people with a crucial piece of evidence that proves, once and for all, why they should take Burton's word for it. As "some of the photographers who regularly accompany Obama [told the AP]," he writes, "even when he shot hoops earlier this year with members of the University of North Carolina varsity men's basketball team, they didn't see Obama sweat." 

You heard it here first, folks: the Obamacle does not secrete water and chlorides through his epidermis. He has no need for thermoregulation. Ever. Basketball. Vice presidential interviews. Whatever. He's like a walking block of ice. That never melts. Or a giant stick of antiperspirant. The metaphorical possibilities are endless.

No word yet from the Obama press shop whether the senator will now be conducting all of his workouts in business casual attire. You know, because he can.