by Dina Fine Maron

As if being subject to five minutes of hold Muzak wasn't bad enough, Americans looking to find a new doctor are likely hear something even more painful when the receptionist finally picks up the phone: "The doctor can see you…in December."
 
It’s not just bad luck or bad timing that can make it take weeks--and sometimes months – for new patients to land an appointment with a nearby doctor. New research from Merritt Hawkins & Associates, a physician recruitment firm, conducted a nationwide study of medical wait times, and found that when it comes to medical specialist, there’s no such thing as same-day service.

Their results - and how to get a better appointment time - after the jump. 

Last night, about 11 minutes into the season finale of  ABC's "Grey's Anatomy," the Chief surprises Dr. Bailey with a DaVinci Surgical System. In an effort to keep her from decamping from general surgery to pediatric surgery, he tempts her with the chance to perform a cutting-edge procedure. "You know, Doctor Chalikonda at Cleveland Clinic is doing single incision gallbladder removal through the belly button," he says. "Why should Dr. Chalikonda have all the fun?"

If you're like me, you spent the rest of the show wondering, "Who is this mysterious Dr. Chalikonda? Does he exist? Can he really perform a minimally-invasive gallbladder removal surgery through the navel such that there's almost no scarring and less patient discomfort?"

The answer, surgery fans, is YES. After a few furtive early-morning phone calls, my moles at the Cleveland Clinic confirm:  Dr. Sricharan Chalikonda is a general surgeon at the Clinic.  Says my source, "He uses the robot for many procedures that used to be done via open surgery so that we have minimally invasive options for patients, and yes, one of them is single port gall bladder removal." Apparently, Dr. Chalikonda was in surgery last night while the finale was airing, and only found out about his star turn sometime before 8.30 am this morning while in the O.R. (This also means Dr. C works crazy long hours).

So there you have it! Mystery solved. Take that, Ausiello. 

On a more serious note, I know some fans were disappointing by the non-wedding wedding of lead couple Meredith and Derrick. (They wrote their vows on a post-it note, then signed the note). In the EW.com interview linked to above, showrunner Shonda Rhimes said that no-fuss nuptials were appropriate for a woman like Meredith, and seemed to indicate that no future wedding will take place (though she is pretty wily, that Shonda). Perhaps the writers plan to use this plot point as a way to address the potential legal and medical complications that arise when your marriage isn't recognized by the state. Any thoughts?

When Animals Attack ABC takes an in-depth look at the worst animal bites and sting -- including a creature called a Tarrantula Hawk Wasp, which isn't so much a name as a list of scary animals. The article does a great job of describing the horrible pain caused by animals you didn't even know existed. For instance, did you know that a bite from something called the bullet ant feels like,  "pure, intense, brilliant pain. Like fire-walking over flaming charcoal with a three-inch rusty nail in your heel"? And that some of the animals featured can be found in North America? Happy Weekend, everybody!  (ABCNews)

New Health Czar Barack Obama makes his pick to head the Centers for Disease Control today: sources say he'll name Thomas Frieden, the condom-handing-out, smoking-in-restaurants-forbidding, trans-fat banning, mandatory-HIV-testing New York City health commissioner.  Last month, he started a campaign to reduce sodium in restaurants meals and packaged foods, and he's advocated for taxing sugary drinks and sodas. An aggressive pick - but where's the surgeon general appointment?  (NYT)

RX Relief Pfizer is giving away 70 of it's most popular drugs - including Lipitor and Viagra - to customers who have lost their job and have been taking the medication for more than three months. There are jokes to be made about being unemployed, having free time, etc., but it's also going to be a huge relief for patients, with not much expense to the drug company: tax cuts should help cover the cost.  (Huffington Post)