Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

PDXdarling — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 04:08:29 GMT

I believe the value of any friendship is entirely the result of what you give to it. We all crave the warmth of human contact. It comes from eyes meeting across a table, sharing a spontaneous laugh or the way a conversation twists and turns as an evening unwinds. This bond is hard to duplicate. But how many times have we said that we would keep up with someone more, then the next thing we know, life commitments allowed us to drift apart. We all run on different schedules whether it is from work, growing families or time zones. This can make our personal world seem insignificant and lead to frustration with the ups and downs that are life. I believe the true value of the Facebook is the ease with we can expand our circle of friends. Whether you reconnect with extended family or old friends or a common interest brings you together. Being able to communicate on your schedule with as many people as you want - what freedom! Not to mention that you could be wearing your ‘at home sweats’ while you type.

Social networking lets me to know when I am needed to support a friend across the country through the trials of motherhood, marriage or a death in the family. Seeing pictures or following another’s interests allows me to easily make a new friend across the world or connect with an old classmate and to find a common ground. When both worlds meet and I have the warmth of in person and I am able keep up and build online that is the best for me.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

mrarcadian — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 21:17:13 GMT

A friend is someone youve talked to on the phone and seen in person and that you can actually hug. Otherwise its just a Hobby.

dont be deter in making them though, some are good, but 98% are bad mostly.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

WWDDCC — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 21:25:03 GMT

I personally have no interest in Facebook or MySpace. Most of my good friends I continue to keep in contact with. I don't have a huge desire to keep in contact with acquaintances because if they were important enough in my life they would have already crossed the threshold from acquaintances to friends. I think this "social networking" internet world of today is just for the self-important mindset who feels having 1,000 "friends" on these sites is of any real value. I prefer to keep my private life out of public forums. Sure, you can keep your pages "private" but, now, anything can be hacked. It's almost sad to see that people are losing the benefit of real human connections.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

dhcrystal — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 21:25:50 GMT

“Any electronic communication where you don’t have to be in the same physical space is going to decrease feelings of isolation,” says Dr. Adams.

Yet, it's this very glut of technology that has driven people into isolation. Kids today are failing to develop good social and communications skills and relationships because they've retreated to the safety of the virtual worlds they create. It's about as close to living in a fantasy land as one can get and an incredibly debilitating place when one measures social development, particularly through adolescent and teen years.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

libra_chick — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 21:37:05 GMT

My main reason for using Facebook is to keep in contact w/ my family members that live all over the country. We keep up w/ everything going on in each others lives so that when we do get together, we don't waste hours trying to get caught up w/ everyone. I have also gotten back in touch w/ high school friends & it's been great to reconnect. However, the majority of my 'friends' are actually people that have been a big part of my life over the years. I don't just add friends to see how popular I am.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

schenleyspartan2008 — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 21:46:48 GMT

I am 18 years old and I have both Facebook and Myspace and also a Twitter. I use myspace to talk to friends and celebritys but I don't add anyone I don't know. Twitter is mostly celebs. I only use facebook to talk to my real friends, no celebs. They are actual people I have met and know. So if I put some bad news up there as my status, my real friends will be there to support me and comfort me.

Some people say "Oh why put your personal business out there" well if you don't want it out there, then dont post it. It is your choice in what you post about yourself. I choose to let my friends know on Facebook what I am doing. That's what Facebook is, a social networking site, and it does just that. It networks people by having you "friend request" someone else. Or on Twitter you can "follow" people and see what they are up to.

I think these sites, espically Facebook, are good ways of keeping in-touch with your friends or family that you haven't seen in a long time.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

jaygee1958 — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 21:47:00 GMT

Online friends are one demential and have to be treaded as such. Some advantages of Facebook and the likes of these online social neyworks are the ability to network only. Too many people today are loosing the ability to deal with people face to face due to the lack of contact these networks are creating. The tone of your voice , the raise of an eyebrow or the glassy eyed stare are all missed when dealing in the social networks. Many people are starting to see the effect on teens who are glued to the chat rooms and social networks through the lack of activities afterschool . I hope the pluses keep outweighing the negatives and the next generation will have some social skills when all the dust settles.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

Scotlass20 — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 21:47:17 GMT

I have 81 friends in my queue on Facebook. Most of them I have known since preschool, if not kindergarten. I grew up with all of them. My main reason for being on. I was invited; and I was invited to help plan my upcoming 30th High School reunion. Since, I have known them for so long, I consider them to be truly my friends; not mere acquaintances. I like it because we can remain connected. My graduating class was very close, I believe that that is attributed to the fact that we have known each other for so long. I also reconnected with someone that I met in college, and that has been AMAZING. Thank you creators of Facebook!!!

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

The Master of Darvitte — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 21:47:53 GMT

facebook is not a replacement for REAL friends. It is simply a way of connecting With other People you may or may not know. I am a School teacher, and former students have been able to reach me through facebook. Now I have a rule; I will not let any former student into my facebook unless they have been out of school several years, 10 is a good number of years. You see my questions is; why does an eighteen year old, want to be in my facebook. Once My students asked me how old I was, I told them I was on the same train with Abraham Lincoln as he composed the Gattysburg Address, and I was able to help him. The first question was asked, why didn't we take a plane? My answer, which seem to satify most of my students, was I couldn't afford to fly and President Lincoln want the time a train ride would give him. Later on I over heard one student Say Ask him,He knows, He was there. Now I hope you know I am joking, but facebook has connected me with long lost friends, but I do not make friends on line. I do not think that is very smart.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

pucsown — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 21:48:33 GMT

I am very disturbed that people find the need to run to an impersonnel self printed

means to report every little thing in their lives simply to give others a thrill.

I agree that you have been a peeping Tom. Following a girl that made had no lasting impression,

on you or her then. Kids dodumb stuff adults should not It IS time for you to mail her a card and offer her the chance to hear that tid bit ...unless your wife would object to your conduct.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

MamaD1264 — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 21:50:22 GMT

I use Facebook is to keep in touch with my family, family members, co-workers, high school classmates and friends in general. Everyone of my 72 'friends' on Facebook are listed in just such a way so as to not get confused with who's who. Most of the people I am in contact with on Facebook are individuals I have in one way or another spent some quality time with. There isn't anyone on there that I don't personally know. I used to be on MySpace but since most of my friends, family, etc., are on Facebook I converted. Sure I've had several individuals request to be a friend, but I didn't know them, couldn't find anything out anything about them and denied their requests. Am I tempted to add people I don't know? Uh, the answer is no way. My personal business is just that and I don't let just anyone in to my inner circle. If I haven't spent at least an hour with you, you're tough outta luck.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

KFish1987 — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 21:55:14 GMT

When my grandmother died, I did not think that I would see any of my mothers brothers and sisters ever again, much less my cousins. Now I have them on my facebook. Now we all exchange information and see each others photos and learn more about each other than we ever did before.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

aria_95 — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 21:58:06 GMT

It strikes me that too much weight is given to Facebook's use of the word "friend," where other sites (ex., LinkedIn) substitute "contact," both indicating a connection to someone. In concept, "friend" holds perhaps more weight, more emotional connotation than "contact." But that word choice in this case was Facebook's decision. People put Facebook and other social networking sites to use in ways that certainly differ from one user to another. To expect the intimate knowledge or support that arrive from the experience / activities of being close friends with every one of your contacts on Facebook -- or anywhere else, for that matter -- is unrealistic.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

eMatic20 — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 21:59:42 GMT

The new social media provides us many ways to connect with our friends in a virtual world. It is also changing the way we do business and communicate with each other. The days of the one way communication is probably over. The generational gap is going to continue to impact the way we view this social media.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

reeblite — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:00:12 GMT

why does facebook get all the credit? kids have been using myspace for years as a social medium.

my "shy" daughter has made close contacts and friends thru social networking, and as a result, so have I. it's not so much having "friend invites" as it is the conversations and sharing with other people. i was never much of a letter writer, but these days? there's not a day that goes by where I don't at least forum for 30 minutes, minimum. are they ones i can rely on when i'm down? no, i have family for that, but the internet's the best thing invented since the wheel.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

srakesh — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:00:15 GMT

What a dumb question with a shallow feel. No they don't.

MySpace, Facebook etc. friends are flimsy at best. Real friends are built over years and years of knowing.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

Melina1189 — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:00:32 GMT

If you want to know a religious perspective here is an article that talks about this....It is directed to young single adults...

http://www.lds.org/library/display/0,4945,538-1-4830-1,00.html

"Let me provide another example of disconnecting gradually and physically from things as they really are. Today a person can enter into a virtual world, such as Second Life, and assume a new identity. An individual can create an avatar, or a cyberspace persona, that conforms to his or her own appearance and behavior. Or a person can concoct a counterfeit identity that does not correlate in any way to things as they really are. However closely the assumed new identity approximates the individual, such behavior is the essence of things as they really are not. Earlier I defined the fidelity of a simulation or model. I now emphasize the importance of personal fidelity—the correspondence between an actual person and an assumed, cyberspace identity. Please note the lack of personal fidelity in the following episode as reported in the Wall Street Journal:

Ric Hoogestraat is “a burly [53-year-old] man with a long gray ponytail, thick sideburns and a salt-and-pepper handlebar mustache. … [Ric spends] six hours a night and often 14 hours at a stretch on weekends as Dutch Hoorenbeek, his six-foot-nine, muscular … cyber-self. The character looks like a younger, physically enhanced version of [Ric].”

“[He] sits at his computer with the blinds drawn. … While his wife, Sue, watches television in the living room, Mr. Hoogestraat chats online with what appears on the screen to be a tall, slim redhead.

“He’s never met the woman outside of the computer world of Second Life, a well-chronicled digital fantasyland. … He’s never so much as spoken to her on the telephone. But their relationship has taken on curiously real dimensions. They own two dogs, pay a mortgage together and spend hours [in their cyberspace world] shopping at the mall and taking long motorcycle rides. … Their bond is so strong that three months ago, Mr. Hoogestraat asked Janet Spielman, the 38-year-old Canadian woman who controls the redhead, to become his virtual wife.

“The woman he’s legally wed to is not amused. ‘It’s really devastating,’ says Sue Hoogestraat, … who has been married to Mr. Hoogestraat for seven months.”4

Brothers and sisters, please understand. I am not suggesting all technology is inherently bad; it is not. Nor am I saying we should not use its many capabilities in appropriate ways to learn, to communicate, to lift and brighten lives, and to build and strengthen the Church; of course we should. But I am raising a warning voice that we should not squander and damage authentic relationships by obsessing over contrived ones. “Nearly 40% of men and 53% of women who play online games said their virtual friends were equal to or better than their real-life friends, according to a survey of 30,000 gamers conducted by … a recent Ph.D. graduate from Stanford University. More than a quarter of gamers [who responded indicated that] the emotional highlight of the past week occurred in a computer world.”5

How important, how enduring, and how timely is the Lord’s definition of truth— “things as they really are.” The prophet Alma asked, “O then, is not this real?” (Alma 32:35). He was speaking of light and good so discernible they can be tasted. Indeed, “they who dwell in [the Father’s] presence … see as they are seen, and know as they are known, having received of his fulness and of his grace” (D&C 76:94).

My beloved brothers and sisters, beware! To the extent personal fidelity decreases in computer-mediated communications and the purposes of such communications are distorted, perverted, and wicked, the potential for spiritual disaster is dangerously high. I implore you to turn away immediately and permanently from such places and activities (see 2 Timothy 3:5).

Now I would like to address an additional characteristic of the adversary’s attacks. Satan often offers an alluring illusion of anonymity. Lucifer always has sought to accomplish his work in secret (see Moses 5:30). Remember, however, that apostasy is not anonymous simply because it occurs in a blog or through a fabricated identity in a chat room or virtual world. Immoral thoughts, words, and deeds always are immoral, even in cyberspace. Deceitful acts supposedly veiled in secrecy, such as illegally downloading music from the Internet or copying CDs or DVDs for distribution to friends and families, are nonetheless deceitful. We are all accountable to God, and ultimately we will be judged of Him according to our deeds and the desires of our hearts (see Alma 41:3). “For as [a man] thinketh in his heart, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7).

The Lord knows who we really are, what we really think, what we really do, and who we really are becoming. He has warned us that “the rebellious shall be pierced with much sorrow; for their iniquities shall be spoken upon the housetops, and their secret acts shall be revealed” (D&C 1:3).

I have raised a voice of warning about only a few of the spiritual hazards in our technologically oriented and rapidly changing world. Let me say again: neither technology nor rapid change in or of itself is good or evil; the real challenge is to understand both within the context of the eternal plan of happiness. Lucifer will encourage you to misuse and to minimize the importance of your physical body. He will attempt to substitute the monotony of virtual repetition for the infinite variety of God’s creations and convince us we are merely mortal things to be acted upon instead of eternal souls blessed with moral agency to act for ourselves. Deviously, he entices embodied spirits to forfeit the blessings and learning experiences “according to the flesh” that are made possible through the Father’s plan of happiness and the Atonement of His Only Begotten Son.

For your happiness and protection, I invite you to study more diligently the doctrine of the plan of salvation—and to prayerfully ponder the truths we have reviewed. I offer two questions for consideration in your personal pondering and prayerful studying:

1. Does the use of various technologies and media invite or impede the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost in your life?

2. Does the time you spend using various technologies and media enlarge or restrict your capacity to live, to love, and to serve in meaningful ways?

You will receive answers, inspiration, and instruction from the Holy Ghost suited to your individual circumstances and needs. I repeat and affirm the teaching of the Prophet Joseph: “All beings who have bodies have power over those who have not. The devil has no power over us only as we permit him.”6

These eternal truths about the importance of our physical bodies will fortify you against the deception and the attacks of the adversary. One of my deepest desires for you is an ever-increasing testimony of and appreciation for the Resurrection—even your own resurrection with a celestial, exalted body “because of your faith in [the Lord Jesus Christ] according to the promise” (Moroni 7:41). "

Elder David A. Bednar

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

BrandonLover — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:01:07 GMT

I have facebook & i have 379 friends . My daughter has 2,467 friends!

I don't think she knows all of them, but she says they're her friends.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

BrandonLover — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:01:08 GMT

I have facebook & i have 379 friends . My daughter has 2,467 friends!

I don't think she knows all of them, but she says they're her friends.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

Ralph_02 — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:01:45 GMT

It all started with my sisters, their kids, and my friends. Now I have almost 2,000 friends on Myspace, that can not keep track of, or write to every single one everyday. The only one I do really communicate with, are those real family and friends by my side. Myspace does not replace the real-life family and friends. It can't replace the hugs and kisses. Those who are distant, we keep in touch via emails, phone conversations, and using webcams. The other friends on Myspace, I will probably never meet in person, I think these websites are alright for international pen pals. But for real friends and relationships, the live contact (emails, phone, etc.) is better.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

beme143 — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:02:32 GMT

Facebook and myspace what a joke really what ever happened to face to face conversations. no wonder people are fat in the world today texting,myspace,facebook, come on people ... and really who cares about someone 10 years ago if you or that person really wanted to talk you would have .. dont you think ? I am right :) ..... I miss old school ways I am in the wrong generation ..

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

mominthemoon — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:05:03 GMT

Answer: That depends on who your "friends" are on Facebook. The only ones I commune with are my real-life friends, extended family, and a few acquaintenances, but all are people that I know "in real life."

I live a busy life with two young kids and I'm constantly on the go. Since I meet socially with friends often, my husband couldn't understand why I also had to communicate online via Facebook. That answer is also simple: Checking Facebook is like getting a letter in the mail--it's one little way to give a boost to your day and interact with people that you really like but just don't have the time to see. And instead of just an email, you get to see their faces, too. Also, I've connected with friends from high school that I lost touch with, and after 20 years we're all going out for a drink--in "real life."

I think technology is fun--and I think it's better for me to take a break during the day to check Facebook for something interesting to do instead of getting that little boost by eating a snack!

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

savanasmommy — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:05:46 GMT

I have cherished the friends I've made on Facebook. Since being on it I have pretty much stopped my depression meds as they help me to keep going.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

jlcg23 — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:10:44 GMT

My son, which, I had not seen or heard from in 20 years (details are personal and not commented on on the Facebook page) found me on Facebook. It was one of the greatest days of my life.

You can control who you let see your Facebook page and what is written on it. Unlike My Space.

Depending on how high your settings are not everyone can see your profile or wall without being added as a friend.

To me Facebook is a way of getting to know your friends better through pictures and comments. You have a privacy message in your Inbox. I beleive that Facebook is what you let it be.

I have enjoyed mine with family and friends and gotten to know some friends better with it.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

kidjaylin — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:13:06 GMT

I think a lot of really gr8 point are made and some of the concerns are ginuin, I have a facebook page and it has turned out for me to be a great reunion tool, I have conversed with people I haven't seen in years, kids from my church back home who use to be in my sunday school class, who are know graduating from college, in college, junior year in high school etc. it's great, I feel when I do meet up with the again we will have a lot to talk about and as far as those who live in my city who are on my facebook it has brought us closer, we now meet up go to the movies, parties etc. it has actually been good for me, thanks for the input..no facebook can never replace real life.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

kidjaylin — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:16:55 GMT

What a blessing Savanas mommy..what a blessing, it's not the big things in life while they are important, it's the small things...gr8 step forward. I really don't have to know you to pay you tribute.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

jimmyjames1 — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:25:01 GMT

I think My Space SUCKS is so full of it,First who the hell has over 1000 friends,LOSERS, My Space is so lame,everyone wants to be someone that they are not,GET A LIFE, About Facebook its good if you only have Family and close friends, BIG BROTHER is watching EVERYTHING you do on My Space and Facebook,so you need to becareful of what you do and say.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

gabbonn — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:30:38 GMT

Ok, first of all the folks suggesting facebook friends are shallow might be missing something here. Do you realize that unlike myspace, the majority of friends on facebook, or at least the intent of the group is to connect or reconnect with real life friends. If some people are out there gathering strangers as friends, well that’s different then what I believe to be the intent.

For me, I moved from state to state through out my childhood. I left friends behind, each move, that I believed I would never connect with again. Well, now I have connected with many of them and it’s been good for my soul. There is something about the friends we shared childhood with that I now hold very dear. Even if just hearing from them once and hearing how like has turned out has been a blessing.

Another element I believe that has been overlooked is the fact that sharing through narrative or statements is mostly done on an emotional level or an intellectually level. The photos probably side on the physical, but the remaining communication that takes place is in these other realms.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

uniquetalent — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:35:18 GMT

There was this guy in my high school who was, quite frankly, a huge nerd. Today, 13 years after graduation, he is still pretty awkward but takes pride in adding as many facebook friends as he possibly can. I swear to God each new addition boosts his self esteem another notch.He has the most friends (1,500+) of anyone I know. It's actually quite amusing. Many of his "friends" he has never even spoken with. They are actually friends of mine and several have asked me why in world he is trying to add them. I think this is an interesting phenomenon. Not quite sure what he gets out of this?

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

Tariann — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:36:58 GMT

Being a private person, I keep my real-life circle of friends to a minimum. I share with them (and only them) every nuonce of my life. But I enjoy getting to know other people and find that many are much more open about themselves than I would ever be. It's for that reason that I enjoy facebook. I have many "friends" on this networking site that I enjoy communicating with and hearing about their lives. Some of my facebook "friends" are just folks that share common interests of mine, such as gaming or hobbies. Although I have never met them in person, I feel connected to them in some small way through our shared interests. Sure these facebook "friends" might not all come to my aid should my car break down or should I suffer some other terrible calamity, but I wouldn't expect most of my "real-life" friends to do the same. Each of my friends have a purpose in my life. They and I know what it is and what I would expect from each of them. My expectation for my facebook friends: share your lives, share your interests, share your needs...from a distance.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

RWColorado — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:39:57 GMT

Any functional advantage of Facebook, or value is quickly offset by boring commentary and comments that are often self-indulgent, if not insignificant, if it weren't for REAL friends. This is only a poor substitution for close friendships, which are sadly missing for most of us in this transitional social environment that favors temporary stimulus and attention that wasn’t provided during childhood and is surly missing in adulthood.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

lmhnw — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:41:23 GMT

I would have asked the question, "What good are FaceBook friends?" I'd rather have friends in real life. Sooner or later, you want people who are around and you can see in person. Even writing e-mail all the time, I don't feel very close to my family members in other states.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

GiGiH — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:42:00 GMT

My main reason for being on Facebook is that I live several states away from my family and close friends. I've been able to catch up with my nieces and share the exciting changes in their lives. I've been able to share pictures of my lovely garden to family and friends who aren't here to see it. I do have a couple of strangers as "friends," but we work for the same company and are in the same line of work, so we can give eachother support. I definitely find benefit and enjoy the comments.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

lmhnw — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:42:29 GMT

Anyway, who's got time to keep in touch with all these people??

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

jet91101 — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:44:43 GMT

I only allow real friends on facebook people I actually know or met, its great because I live in LA and most of my friends and family are either in Northern California where I am from and or spread out across the U.S. and with friends and family overseas living in Europe, The UK Australia and Germany.

Its been great to keep up with everyone, see what they are doing these days, see whats going on in there life.

over the past month or so, its been like an avalanche of people from my youth, one friend of mine sent a friend suggestion from one of our friend from High School and the OG Punk Rock days.

Once I added our common friend, he was linked into a few more old friends from that time, next thing you notice you are linking into more and more people from your past people I havent seen or talked to for over 25 years, even when I go back to my home town to visit, you never see people anymore, and the people you do have lost contact with people as well and no one has heard from any of them... maybe a bit here and there... If your parents and their parents still talk, yeah so and so lives in New york city, another one moved to texas another person you know died, and another had a baby.

But now adays most everyone is so spread out across town, across the country or over seas and even if they live in the same town you most likely will never run into them at the makert, or gas station.

With Facebook, I am running into it seems like everyone, its great like an old time reunion, I talke to one of my best friends from this time, a guy I hadnt talked to in 25 years, I moved from my home town over 20 years ago, and ten years ago I ran into a few people at another friends funeral, that was about it...

On Myspace I ran into a lot, but facebook seems to be much easier to find people and chat.

Myspace is great as well its great for your alter ego and to get a bit crazy with adding all kinds of friends and new internet friends, finding cool bands and artists and stuff.

Facebook is in my opinion is more geared to the real personal you, not saying Myspace is fake it can be and its filled with alot of phonys, sexy women and crazy (the good kind of crazy) people but so can facebook, I think myspace is better for my music and art reaching the right kinds of people and reaches a different kind of crowd.

Facebook for me is more personal and personable for me, and its great to see hear, talk to and findout about my real friends, I can chat about whats going on, I can help my friends going through their divorce, assist them with finding a job and see their family and new baby.

I recently ran into a woman who was a few years older then I, she was 18 I was 14, she used to drive everyone around since she had a car. When I added her as a friend, I thought it was her but not totally sure, she responded "who the hell are you" I responded one of the little skateboarder kids you used to drive around with so and so and so and so...

Yeah now I remember you she responded and we got reconnected and talked about all the times us skateboarder kids were chased by the cops for skateboarding (Skateboarding was pretty illegal back then) being stranded somewhere and her coming to pick us up and recuse us when someone else ditched us or left early...LOL

The thing sometimes that can be a challenge on facebook is with women, most everyone remembers the guys names and what they look like and can recognize them and how they look today,

With the women its much more difficult at times, women change their names, change their look (especially being in punk rock with crazy hair cuts and colors) plus high school alot of the women had that cute 80s look goin on, now over 40 some look really different then they did back then...

Its great to browse your high school and see the women who keep their names and post their maden names it makes things much easier....

Overall Facebook is really cool, I am glad its around and its a great and tool...for everyone...

Except for the BOZOs that misues it,

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

Mr. Wonderful2000 — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:45:07 GMT

I think that facebook gives people the option to "turn off" of the stress. I you don't like someone or if you want some privacy, you can turn off your computer.

However, in real life, people don't have on/off buttons.

Anyhow, I really enjoyed the article and think it's high time we analyze how society is affected by the information age,

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

AZ Gal — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:48:32 GMT

Personally I am just not interested. Not in having dozens and dozens of "friends" or the effort it takes to even pretend you are friends even if only online. My real friends keep bugging me to get on for their ease but if that keeps happening, I'll just find friends happy to chat with me once in awhile and that is it. Too much to really do in life to spend it in tedious mostly self serving pursuits like this.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

worldafair — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:48:59 GMT

Facebook is the outstanding invention for communication along with news paper, movie, TV, radio, telephone, internet, email, Google, Wikipedia, Twitter, and so on. It helps me stay in touch with people I like. I have control over whom I include in my circle. I get to know who is good at what. I'm available for help if I can. Someone can help me when I want. The amount of spam is a million to one compare from emails.

99% of people in my Facebook is made through real life contact. Facebook helps build friendship in physical life by making arrangement through Facebook.

My life is better with Facebook. It's a tool of communication. I make things by how I use it.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

chooch65 — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:51:22 GMT

I live in a community that I grew up in playing Little League Baseball and Pop Warner Football I have refound over 120 friends from my youth, many of which have moved away. With Face Book I have recieve old pictures of myself, father (deceased) and other friends and relatives from my youth. What a treasure to see pictures of myself taken by friends paarents and then recovering them. We also have FaceBook parties at local resturants and Bars and have a great time.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

BigMers — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:54:31 GMT

Facebook is a godsend for alot of people. As for me, I hooked up with people I haven't seen in years! One old friend needed my help getting her father moved into a assisted living situation. If I hadn't been on face book talking with her, she would have had to travel 1000 miles and do it herself. As it were I was close by and took care of her issue. As far as others, it's good to keep up with all their happenings. Facebook DOES serve a great purpose. Facebook friends ARE actual friends. If you don't want them on your list, you just push the right button. Simple..

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

bassbabe — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:57:17 GMT

The good thing about facebook: I no longer feel obligated to attend high school and college reunions. The bad thing: I get sad when I lose friends -- even though they're virtual friends it still hurts a little bit.

http://interpolownsyoursoul.blogspot.com/2009/06/being-un-friended-is-worst.html

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

lmhnw — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:58:04 GMT

Will someone please tell me how Facebook is better than e-mail? I send messages and pictures to the people I care about by e-mail. I control who is on my list, and they write to me as well. So......?

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

j67894jones — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:58:48 GMT

I think Facebook is a great idea but I am not a member nor do I have a profile. Something I find interesting is that in some cases I've witnessed, it almost seems like the "friend list" is all about quantity, not quality. I have received invitations to join from people and I sometimes think, "we haven't spoken in YEARS and we probably had very little in common back then." I would much rather focus my time and energy in nurturing the friendships that I have (getting us together on a regular basis, emailing individuals to find out how they are by asking them questions about their lives). Facebook reminds me of a network of chain emails where someone emails their whole group just to talk about themselves. Often when I would reply to the person who sent the email, in order to see how she is, maybe share a bit about my life, I would get no response. I don't think there's in interest in knowing how I'm doing but more making sure I know how she is doing. I just hope that as the Facebook phenomenon continues, we don't forget that it's the people we HAVE stayed in touch with and speak to regularly who will really be there when we need them and those friendships require care and effort beyond typing about ourselves.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

ERIMER — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:58:50 GMT

I think some people are putting too much "emphasis" on these social networking sites. That is why they are called "social" sites. A large number of people using Facebook are adults, who pay there own internet bills. So who cares? Now with the kids and myspace, I can understand the concern. Either way, whatever reason people log in, is it really that bothersome enough to some to write an entire article about whether they're "friends" or "acquaintances"? I haven't had anyone care what I did since the day I turned 18 and left for college.

I have a facebook and have been reached by numerous friends that I have not seen in years. From then on, we occasionally go out for drinks and have rekindled old friendships. I'm glade there is a facebook for that reason. It's one thing sitting on the computer playing gladiator games all day, it's another reconnecting with old friends. Whether they're called "friends" or "acquaintances", who cares? These "self appointed computer moderators" need to let the people who enjoy it, enjoy it. Anyone with the average dose of common sense would know that these do not make up "real" friends.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

cmingo — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:59:01 GMT

Having read this article, I must say that I disagree wholly. If "Sue" wanted to reach out to those that matter most to her, then why not send out an email to those with whom she corresponds regularly? What happened to the simple email approach if phone calls are too difficult for both the emotional and financial costs? Facebook and Myspace do not promote closeness; rather it enables and reinforces narcissism, a desire to achieve attention for things one neither truthfully accomplished nor deserve. These networking sites do not help those who are shy and have problems with tète-à-tète interaction with another person or group of people. On the contrary, it only negatively reinforces said person's desire to avoid having to make such connections and the distance they feel. It's almost as if "friends" on these networking sites takes on a reverse meaning: In order to correspond, the physical distance must first be established. And when a connection here is made, it's based solely on appearance and dubious accomplishments. Whereas in the real world, such relationships are forged and proven true via actual displays of trust and honesty. On these sites, a person can exaggerate themselves and their life without the worry that others can dispute their experience. My experience has opened my eyes to two types of networking personalities: the sycophant, who looks for someone to hero worship in return for gratification from the human object of their desire, and the idol, who fishes for compliments and/or milks others for sympathy.

This article does enlighten folks as to the truth about this socially manipulative technology; rather it serves as a subliminal advertisement while denying the deconstructive and damaging dangers networking sites such as Facebook poses when naive and gullible people misuse these tools as a result of their lack of understanding of the Human Condition.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

rpebblesmom — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:59:38 GMT

Like many of the other commentors, I use Facebook to keep in touch with my extended family and friends that do not live near me. I started with just a few of my sisters and some aquaintances I knew through them, but lately I have been in touch with aunts, uncles, and cousins I have not talked to for years. It has been really nice to have an easy way to stay in touch with them.

I only use MySpace to listen to music, I have no friends on it, but it's an easy way to keep up with music from my favorite artists- all of them have MySpace pages. Other than that, I have no use for it because it seems too hard to control. Facebook has default privacy settiings that can be removed- MySpace makes you set all of the privacy settings yourself, too much trouble for me.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

Just passing by — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 23:01:08 GMT

Facebook allows me to stay in touch with friends and family who aren't close by that I don't get to talk with on a daily basis. I have also meet some people online via an online game and we like to give each other a bad time outside the game. I've created a separate list for those acquaintences and limited their access to my information. For me personally it's a way to escape real life for a little bit and de-stress. I enjoy the comic relief, the support when I've had a bad day and at times, it's nice to get a different perspective on things.

Trouble with on line friends is though, how sincere are they being? You have to keep it casual and try not to get too wrapped up in "drama" because you just might be getting scammed. Those that ask for money or things like that, run, not walk but run away as far and you can and delete. For me it's easy to walk away from someone on line if things get weird.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

Dayle Hill — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 23:02:34 GMT

I'm not so sure that Facebook "Friends" are really friends, but rather, like monopoly money. It's like collecting as many as possible and not interacting with any of the ones you really don't know anyway.You can share "twitter-like" comments and inviting them to play Facebook games or take quizzes. If you want an intellectual discussion, this may not be the forum for it. I have a few real friends on Facebook and interact with them by sending private messages and not having everyone made privy to my deepest thoughts, or I can comment on a topic they post for everyone to see.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

Just passing by — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 23:04:03 GMT

to add.. it's nice to have a contact virtually all over the world.. I have been able to access things via these "virtual friends" that I never could have before. It's nice to put out feelers when you are trying to track down that one special xmas gift you just can't get at home but yet your "virtual friend" can get an endless supply at their store. :)

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

Sassycat55 — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 23:04:38 GMT

I love Facebook. I lived in CA for 40 years and have many friends there. Facebook enables me to keep in touch with them, see their children and children's children grow through the pictures that they post on Facebook. The ability to share good or bad news with multiple people at one time is great. In this busy life we don't always have time to sit and write the same thing over and over so this works great. Also have had two friends who have been able to share pictures of their newborn babies almost instantly through Facebook. I have many friends on Facebook who I've known in real life for years but have also made some friends on facebook that I feel are also good friends.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

snowkat/sc — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 23:06:29 GMT

Since I joined Facebook about a year ago, it has been a real blessing for me. I have re-connected with friends from highschool who I haven't seen in 40 years. We share stories of our shared childhood, receipes, tell jokes, encourage one another. We send smiles to a friend with cancer.I stay in touch with my step-daughter in California and my niece who is 1 mile away. I'm in touch with some of my co-workers and members of my church. I do not like talking on the telephone. I always feel like I'm calling at a bad time. I love to write so I really enjoy corresponding with my friends online. I do no socialize much, but Facebook has made me socialize more. I even joined some old high school classmates for supper across town a few weeks ago. It wasn't even awkward to see them agin after 40 years because I've been in touch with them on FB. I look foward to checking my FB page throughout the day. My Facebooks friends keep me from being isolated and they make me feel happier and help me feel better about myself. I have about 50 facebook friends and I love them all.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

cmingo — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 23:17:57 GMT

Not to belabor the point, but a lot of people use these sites to track down "old acquaintances". Well, if life happens, and people lose touch, it's for a reason. Maybe there was nothing really there in the first place. Maybe there was no solid bond to keep the separated parties intact to begin with. As people grow and grow into themselves and their lives, they often grow apart. Why? Who Knows, maybe as kids in America we learned to compete against each other and to differentiate ourselves while still superficially adhering to the status quo. Imagine all of the hidden and deep seeded feelings of resentment we learned to push down. So why then look up those very same people? Can we honestly say that these people that we look up on these sites really played an important impact in our life when we struggled through the worst of times? If the answer is no, then let it be and move forward; Life does and so should we. Besides, if all we could achieve years before was a superficial acquaintance way back then, then what sense does it make to want to reach out to them now? Maybe we should learn to respect the distance, allow folks to live their lives and instead focus our attention to those who are currently in our hearts and life right now and give back to them the same.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

wicked — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 23:20:24 GMT

i joined Facebook in Feb. now i have lots of new friends Not just virtual friends either there is a bunch of us in the same network of our state that live within 90 miles of each other and we have startedmeting for lunches a dinner is next husbands wives just women and men even high school kids it has been a blast we range from 18 to 70's it is great . i am new to this area and so this has been a godsend for me meeting new people is hard but this way we find out our likes and dislikes ahead of time we do hatchlings, farmtown, soroity girls you know silly things you do on the web but it helps us socialize and intermingle something not all of us get otherwise. we are stay at home moms or dads people that work and like me someone who physical can't work anymore i will agree it is addictive even the friendships are you can't wait for such and such to get home and on the computer to see what there day was like or how that date went in this day and age i think it is a great thing as long as you are careful and remember unless you have met don't believe what you can't see. Facebook i love you you opened up a new life for me and brought some very good friends i can't actually go see and enjoy thank you Linda

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

tora422 — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 23:33:36 GMT

Since I have joined Facebook and Myspace, I have had nothing but possitive things happen! The most important things: I reconnected with my childhood and high school friends. I have even gotten to say I am sorry to an ex-boyfriend that I feel as though I wronged 15 years ago. He did not see it that it ended badly and felt as though I should not have had to live with it for 15 years. I also met up with my neice that was given up for adoption 18 years ago. I also found the guy that used to stay with us for over 10 years each summer and Christmas's from the fresh air program. And so yes I have another. I found the sister of my first childhood boyfriend (we were 6/7 years old) his father was military and the only thing that I remembered about him info wise was his name. Well as soon as I found his sister she let him know!

This to me has been the number 3 best thing that has ever happened to me. Next to meeting my husband and having my baby.

I LOVE Myspace and Facebook. They are one of the best things ever created. Hoever they can be hurtful as well. A good friend of mine was hurt through both facebook and myspace. You just have to be careful. I ONLY allow people I know and people that I would associate with. I have been on facebook for about 1 year and I have like 45 friends. I have been on facebook for about 1 month and I already have like 55 friends.

Everyone tries to see how many friends they can have, to me this is not safe. I feel you should only have the peple you know and the people you will actually talk to. I have had people request to be my friend and I have turned them down because I did not know them. But I am also friends with people that I have never met that turn out to be family. But they had/have to prve to me that they are family. I have caught up on alot of family problems and I have met family that I didn't know I had.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

ilovelucy_82 — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 23:34:37 GMT

I must be in the minority becuase I ca't stand facebook. Practically all of my friends and family members have it and I refuse to join. If you want to get to know me dial direct, not through the virtual "fake" world that is facebook to me. I'm more of a pen and paper girl.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

liamhamptons — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 23:40:38 GMT

Facebook has been great in that it's bringing my past relationships full circle. I've really loved satisfying my curiosity about alot of people I knew while growing up. I'm relieved the vast majority of them are doing well. It's also been great in getting to know alot of musicians I've idolized my whole life. I've had great exchanges with people who in regular life you would never have an oppurtunity to communicate with.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

AndrazMUFC — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 23:44:51 GMT

Hello...

well... i have a facebook and most of my friends are real friend... a binch of the do not live in the same city but we kkep in touch by this way. The best thing i get in facebook is my boyfriend.. we will get engaged soon because we want a life... we are together a year and a half and we are sure that facebook just made us contact!

great article.. so true... i get in as a psychologis and also as a user.. so great article!

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

soaplady — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 23:45:28 GMT

when, I joined Facebook a little over a year ago, yeah I refered to it as a "Friend Collector". I thoroughly enjoyed reconnecting with friends and yes people who didn't give me the time of day

or know that I existed in high school. The truth of the matter is

people use FB and Myspace and texting respectively as a means to say stuff that you would not normally say to someone face to face. Then when a close family (my sister ) got

upset with me she posted something very hurtful on my husbands profile for everyone to see. At the same time we were grieving the death of our great niece. She blocked me off of her facebook and then the last text on my cell phone from her was "don't speak to me for the rest of your life" " your familes stupitity has formed you into a pile of Sh*#". She and her husband seem to have a wonderful relationship ON FACEBOOK! In real life that is a different story. Sad to say. She likes to take it out on me and humilate me on facebook. My one and only sister whom I love very much , but stress of her actions through FB and text messages has left a bad taste in my mouth. sorry

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

miamigo — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 23:52:55 GMT

I joined facebook in January sometime. I had received an e-mail from my aunt regarding "being my friend." I thought it would be a good way to stay in contact with her. Then I found several other aunts, cousins and friends that were on as well. I told my husband about it and thought it would be nice to all keep in touch. Long story short, he found an ex-girlfriend on facebook and spent hours upon hours talking to her daily. We have a son with cancer so that was her excuse to keep in touch. There was no reason for their daily conversations. It has caused severe trust issues in my marriage. He won't even accept me as one of his "friends"!!!

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

miamigo — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 23:54:30 GMT

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

mom2girls — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:02:08 GMT

Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

BETTER! I have about 70 friends on FB 90% are fellow scrap/stamp friends. The rest is real life people I do know personally. If you dont like the result of something you post. Then dont post it. If you know you may get in trouble then dont talk about it. Dont add people you dont know or invite your husband etc. I complain lots on there and I gt support for whatever it is I may go through. I dont add guys....I am married why would I do that? It is wrong. I love FB. and all my friends on it.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

1Soonerfan — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:04:56 GMT

Facebook has been a life thread for me to be able to keep in touch with a larger group quicker than sending an email. I can post pics for all my friends to see to my profile faster than uploading to an email and sending. I travel frequently so this is a good option for me. The friends I have on Facebook are all real friends, many I've known for years either through church or school. Some I knew years ago and have only reconnected with because of Facebook. So for me Facebook has been a blessing, at least to this point.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

ilovelucy_82 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:06:57 GMT

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

BruceC828 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:15:08 GMT

It was February 2008 and I had just lost my beloved wife after years of marriage. I could not remember any friends adress or phones and I had a twelve year old daughter to raise alone. I was scared to death myself. Facebook has brought back the friends I had in high school and the people I meet over the years in the community. I feel very supported now. I would not have given a nickle for my chances without it.

My advise is do not give up. get a net under you and go forward. God and the community loves you and will help you through. I know I have been there. I am 53 years old. Imagine how lost I was.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

RaeofSun — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:21:12 GMT

I don't have any disillusionment that Facebook is a replacement for socializing in real life, so I am detached from part of this post's sentiments. However, I think my approach of Facebook is most appropriate. I will let anyone befriend me in my current life that I know. People from the past only make the "cut" if I knew them well. I don't let the next generation befriend me, or seek me out at least, because I think most of the site as a means to be silly. I like to post my daily thoughts so that it's out there, not so I can make an announcement people should care too much about. Never had to. Maybe if I a situation arose, I would feel differently, but too few come to mind, including loss of a loved one. The site is way too impersonal for me, I guess, that I would ever think it appropriate to share such personal info. Some people find facebook "saving". I can't see it, but I have never had to use it as such. As I said before, too impersonal.

In three years, I have amassed a total of 64 friends. I have known some people that friend me even though we are not. Why, because they want to drive their totals up. There have been a total of three people that I have personally requested to be friends. I figure, if anyone cares enough about me to know what I am doing, then they will request to be friends with me.

Which actually makes me curious. It's Is it elistist, or snobish, or just plain wrong, to only become friends with people who ask you first? I always thought, it just allowed you to connect with those that actually cared. Perhaps, I am wrong.

Regardless, I think facebook, or any online community is what an individual makes of it. If a person feels they have a close relationship with another they want to share, if they are looking for support on a topic, then it is beneficial to them to have it. I don't feel that's what it is here for. But I am not against it for any (almost) use. It's going to be something for everyone.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

ClickChick — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:35:00 GMT

I am a 46 yr. old who was a "Social Butterfly" in my previous life. I am now disabled. So FB is a blessing for me. I have re-connected with people who I really miss. It is hard to maintain a friendship with someone who suffers chronic illness, frequent hospitalizations and surgeries, and who cannot regularly attend parties, gatherings, etc. I actually talk more to people who I really miss since I started using FB.

To each his own, if you don't like it, don't use it. For me, I'll keep using FB and appreciate seeing my friends, their posts, and photos.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

Kimettelc — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:35:06 GMT

I like facebook because I can keep in touch with family and friends across the country. The past Sunday my niece graduated from high school. Family and friends can comment as they like.

I was able to find few of my classmates who graduated with me high school 37 years ago.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

Musa622 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:43:01 GMT

ilovelucy_82. i agree that pen an paper is far more substantive than the transient world of facebook. however, facebook is really convenient for event invites, among other things. but yeah, if it supplants real human contact in your life that's pathetic.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

NatalieHonda — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:43:29 GMT

I am very much so against Facebook, Myspace, and any other social networking website. Due to the fact that I'm a 19-year-old college girl, this definitely puts me in the minority. Every single one of my close friends have a Facebook.

I've been ranting and raving and attempting to convince people to resist Facebook for a very, very long time. Instead of disclosing all of my sentiments in this post, please read the article I wrote for my college, Seattle Pacific University, to hear out my feelings. I'd be surprised if you don't doubt your Facebook motives after reading the piece:

http://www.thefalcononline.com/article.php?id=105

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

sonnydd — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:46:29 GMT

I think face book is terrlble it allows teens to get on their site and meet eachother to have unprotected sex .I know for a fact my teen has more sex then myself and my wife he meets 16 and 17 year old girls and they have sex when they have only known eachother for a period of minutes.To me I know what your thinking we dont watch him close enough but indeed we do he proceeds to sneak out his bedroom window which we have screwed shut and he still gets out .I say what we need is an easier way to block our teens from having access to these type of sites or atleast there be a backdoor so that parents can check up on what is going on with these type of sites

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

xxToxic69 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:50:53 GMT

Err have you noticed facebook is kinda.. retarded, who honestly has a facebook?

Go make a myspace like a normal person.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

jsmitty0802 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:53:31 GMT

Facebook almost cost my wife a marriage. She reconnected with a high school boyfriend whom she hasn't seen or talked to in 20 years. Men and women should be very careful whom your significant other is communicating with on these social networking sites. It's easy for people to say whatever the other person want's to hear. Thank god I caught it in time or she may have made a big mistake and thrown away 10 years of us being together and married for 7, and traveled across the country to see him. She looks back at it now and realizes how stupid it was and that it didn't seem real. All I can say is FB has and will probably will destroy a lot of happy homes.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

bigbearjen — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:55:17 GMT

I love Facebook because I live in the mountains and don't get out alot. Being able to talk with friends everyday helps me feel less lonely.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

Elistra — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:55:29 GMT

I'm going to be honest, here. I never thought that my personal life was so interesting that seven hundred people would even want to know about it, let alone comment on it. Seriously, isn't adolescent egocentrism something that people are supposed to grow out of, sooner or later? :P

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

blogcat — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:56:45 GMT

When do you make the decision to defriend one of your numerous friends? How many baby pictures and puppies can you look at? Or the endless posts about their favorite charities/political causes.

Funny blog

Top Five TV Characters I'd Like to Defriend on Facebook

http://www.tvtango.com/news/detail/id/39

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

SNAKE3368 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:02:19 GMT

to sonnydd...Facebook is actually a great site! (my apologies if your affended) But its just people like your son and otheres that abuse it to that extent. like for instinse craigslist with the w4m stuff. The web site was great for finding deals its just that it gets a bad rep because of people that abuse the site and what it stands for. and jsmittyo8o2 thats happend to a co worker of mine. another abuser.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

westtexas1971 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:08:46 GMT

If I were to have a heart attack at home, how many Facebook friends would know it and be able/willing to call 911?

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

Carroteenie — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:14:53 GMT

honestly to all those who say facebook made my teen have unprotected sex or facebook made my wife do this or made my man cheat...facebook is just a forum, like a school playground or a graocery store or a mall or a bar.. whatever.. point is facebook did nothing. People who had unprotected sex and keep sneaking out of their house, well that is a fundamental isue in their personality and that would happen regardless of facebook. men and women cheating because of people they met on facebook?... same exact thing! They were obviously missing something and that was where they happened to find the someone that filled that spot if only for a moment. Dont blame facebook, blame the person it was 100% their concious choice. I have 100's of friends on fb. I keep in contact with people who have moved over the years and I meet new people as well, some who in fact have become dear friends in peson as well. Just as with anything their are risks or meeting crazy people, stalkers, jerks, people who just want to meet up for sex or potential killers, but that is no different than say meeting someone at a club, a store, or even church. In fact i have met more freaky creeps in normal everyday locations than I have ever met online. And for a busy indivdual whose everyday is jam packed with work/school/family/friends/ fb is a wonderful tool to keep up with things in an efficient and fun way. I myself do not have the time to wait around to meet a special someone in a limited old school fashion. online social venues allow me to be able to meet people i may not every happen across in my day to day travels but who are a wonderful match for me. I have in fact met many truly amazing people thanks to online social venues. contary to ingnorant assumptions there are a great many people who are just looking to expand their social circle or meet a potential someone special but do not have the time to do so in "old conventional" ways. My time is precious. I will weed out people I do not think I would like to be friends with before I waste my time to meet them in person.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

Carroteenie — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:17:40 GMT

to westtexas1971, if you were to have a heartattack at home and you had no friends over, how many of them would be able to call 911? der. same thing. no one would know it unless they were there or you called them. My facebook friends actually happen to be friends and have my # they could actually call and send help to my home if i let them know, but if I could make a call, i would call 911 myself, not a friend.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

icarmacarmen — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:19:07 GMT

Well I agree with this article. I am a 50 year old single women with one out of three daughters still at home. She visits her father regularly and I find myslef alone a lot. Being on Facebook gives me the opportunity to mingle ,if you will, with family members and friends and yes the positive feed back on things going on in my life, my birthday ect.. A birthday that didn't feel so alone when I received so many "Happy Bithdays" on Facebook.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

AngelOC — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:19:49 GMT

I have been on the Internet since back in 1997. I have made a lot of "vitual" friends but several I have met in person. Two of whom have since become my best friends and we take trips together. I'd say the Internet is wonderful for that! I have another vitual friend who is suffering from cancer right now and I think she gets marvelous (if long distance) support from our "group". If not for the Internet, I'd probably have never met these gals! You still have to be careful - definitely! But it can also bring a great deal of joy! I'm on facebook but I don't use it too much. I prefer LiveJournal myself because I love to connect with other writers. Of course there are some jerks in the mix - it's unfortunate but overall my experiences have been excellent.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

WhiteAmericanGuy — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:21:42 GMT

Facebook is for people that don't have a life, and want to fill there emptyness lives with the notion that they have alot of friends, when they really have none. This is a real Fantasy World people are living in. Jack

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

tweddlenever — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:21:42 GMT

Oh Facebook. I have 0 friends on Facebook than have on myspace. Trying to get off of yahoo answers too. What better way to make my life even more miserable than seeing people that have drifted away in my personal life than on Facebook. Who honestly cares?

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

motherof3pmp — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:23:05 GMT

For me facebook is an outlet and being a mother of three, wife and full time PMP. I need to be able to touch base at 2:00a.m. without waking the world. It has been my savior ever since my brother was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I can up date everyone and get updates from everyone on my schedule.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

nitestarr60 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:25:49 GMT

Facebook is okay...if you're an outgoing person with a lot of personal friends. If you're a quiet person with no life, it's only good to see what you're friends are up to. I started out with 2 good friends and then grew to 23. Those additional 21 people were from grade school and high school. Of those 21, only 4 bothered to even say "Hi". When it came to my birthday, only my 2 good friends bothered to wish me a "Happy Birthday". I look at it it this way...those 21 people only asked me to be friends with them just so they can brag to their family and friends about how many friends they have on Facebook.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

lawchick73 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:27:52 GMT

@NatalieHonda. I know you're too young to understand this, but FB has been great in reconnecting with REAL friends that I had in high school and college, but because life got in the way and we moved apart from each other, that face to face contact hasn't been possible for many years. These are people with whom I had, and continue to have, a great deal in common. Maybe this is why it's so popular with the over 35 crowd. Believe it or not, those people with whom you are currently having face to face contact will fall off the face of the earth in about three years. Trust me. That said, I have a FB friend who was a co-worker of mine just a few short months ago and her status updates are the most shallow and insipid postings known to humankind. I really don't care if she just got a new purse or if she's watching tv with her husband. But she kinda gets on my nerves in real life too, so that could be contributing to my online annoyance....lol.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

krisjay — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:33:51 GMT

Sonnydd: Just like SNAKE3368 said, Facebook is a wonderful website to those who use it wisely. Of course, there are those that abuse it, such as your son. You might want to consider your son's actions representative of a problem bigger than Facebook. I'm a 17 year old male and I'm about to graduate high school. Which means that I may loose touch with many of the people that I've seen on a daily basis for the past 4 years. Of course, I will continue to see my best friends as often as I can, but those that I'm not as close to, I would still like some way of being connected to. Facebook is the perfect place for that. It was not too long ago that I found out a student in my school made it onto a reality television show. I was not very close with her, but now I know about her great accomplishment, and will watch that show, just to support her. If it weren't for Facebook, I may not have found out about this.

I have a good amount of Facebook friends, due to the fact that I participate in many school activities, as well as out of school community services, jobs, and performances. I meet many people and the best way to stay connected with them is through Facebook. We shouldn't let those who abuse the site give it a bad reputation. We also should not assume that we create social profiles because we are egocentric. It's a simple way of staying in touch with old friends, becoming acquainted with those attending the same college as you before you actually go, and having people to chat with when your bored at home because it's too late to go outside.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

Stekno — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:36:36 GMT

Uhh, I don't think support is the only thing that is a benefit of having friends. It is a worthy question though. To me, if you can have people, online or offline, that you can talk to and bring problems to and have them console you and help you make decisions and whatnot, if necessary, then online friends are as equally important as though you have in real life. There is an obvious difference between a "friend" and "boyfriend/girlfriend" online. Trust is more of an issue with the latter, but since they're only you're friend, you aren't looking to confide in them a great deal. Something you can't do with a friend you have online is go to the movies, out to dinner, and other events, but that isn't EVERYTHING. A friend is somebody you can talk to and enjoy yourself talking to them. Someone who will be there for you when you need them to be, and so on. A friend isn't just somebody to hang out with. I think anything beyond friends online is pushing it, though. I do acknowledge that there are some people who have met their spouses online and have had healthy and rewarding relationships but the chances of that happening are very slim. That's another issue, though.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

renaissoxx — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:40:22 GMT

Facebook is stupid in my opinion. People who have 700 facebook friends try to act as though they have real life social skills, and then often are made look stupid or fall into the background when someone with real character is around. Then they put emphasis on pictures which are not very good at conveying personality or the mood of the actual occasion. Also people who are obsessed with wasting time playing with cameras instead of having fun annoy me. It gets to the point where social wannabes act as though every story about where you have been isn't true if there isn't pictures of it on facebook.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

kamb85 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:42:53 GMT

I think it depends on why you are on FB and who you friend. I joined to reconnect with high school friends. I went to a military school overseas, and we have no hometown to really return to, Friends I made are people I still consider friends even though I don't see them everyday. Just because I can't talk face to face doesn't lessen their importance to me.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

Raheel1993 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:43:30 GMT

I believe its not healthy to make friends you dont know in real life through the facebook unless you know them , and i believe that spendin more than 10 min a day on this website will make you became a virtual person and add more complexity to ur life , i noticed that most of people who spending a lot of thier time there they became more depressed and more unrelastic , this is my personal advice to everyone here because i care .

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

The BFM — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:44:10 GMT

Today is my birthday. I got 6 birthday wishes from my Facebook "friends" - notes I would never have gotten otherwise. (I also got cards from the usual family and friends, but the FB notes were a plus.) I have to admit I had a smile on my face every time another note would pop up. But don't tell my daughter. She thought it was funny that I even had a Facebook account.:)

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

STEVEN36 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:48:09 GMT

world of warcraft is fun, yeh! for games

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

GinnyA52 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:57:12 GMT

I use facebook only at another network, I don't really believe in inviting someone I don't even know. Just use it for expressing an opinion about certain issues. It's up to each person if they want to invite total strangers on their facebook. I myself wouldn't bother doing that. I already have texting on my cellphone, to people I know, not total strangers, if I get texting or pictures from someone I don't know, I simply delete it. I also have email and that is good enough for me. Right now there are wayyyy to many sorts of communications online, Diggs, blogs, youtube, facebook, texting, email, IM, my goodness what more do people want? They're all the same just a different name, and thats all.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

krisjay — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:59:12 GMT

Raheel1993: The friends that I make through Facebook aren't those that I would trust with personal information, that could harm me. They are those that I ask "What is your major going to be next year? Which residence hall do you like best?" If they are people older than I, that have been in that college for previous years I ask 'Is there any advice that you can give me? What classes should I get out of the way first? Which teachers are the best?" I'm not giving them my social security number. They aren't even getting my phone number. I personally feel that they do not need to have that information. But, that's the kind of "friendship" we're talking about when we say "Facebook acquaintance".

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

iwrite — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:59:21 GMT

I really believe that facebook is sometimes fun but mostly an inane way of communicating. Too much is out there for everyone to see, most of whom do not care or understand what you are writing about. I have become cynical because of psots that tell me if someone has just played an on line game or taken a test to see which state they should live in. This is all nonsense. What about an actual conversation with the person? Where has that gone? Frankly I think it is rather bizarre that we are all on this thing and for what reason. We are being sucked into our computers like the rabbit hole and we cannot even understand this.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

tweddlenever — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:59:36 GMT

are you referring to me Raheel1993? Just a little online bullying since I have no friends. ha ha...

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

rebeccagrimes — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:59:43 GMT

My husband spends a lot of time on facebook, WoW, and other networking sites. I don't know any of his "friends" and he withholds information about them; I think it has distanced him from "real" life relationships.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

Tyrunea — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:59:51 GMT

Posted By: Raheel1993 (June 17, 2009 at 9:43 PM)

I disagree entirely... I spend a helluva lot more than 10min a day on these sites, and I'm doing better than before, tyvm.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

iwrite — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 02:00:40 GMT

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

wakingupintx — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 02:08:03 GMT

I am a 44 almost 45 yr old female. I live very isolated in So. Texas, 5 miles from a road without a car kind of isolated. I am going thru a divorce and asked the husband to move out last Sept., he sold almost every community asset he could, one of them my truck, leaving me well.....SOL. :o) I have over 800 Facebook friends....these people have been my life's blood since this has happened. One on the front line with Syria paid my power bill for 3 months w/ out me knowing it, till I called them to say "why no bill ?"...Another sent money to my local grocery so when I could get there I was able to buy food....I had gone 5 days without any when he found out. Yet others pay my internet while I look for work, and send Pizza !!!!!!! They have supported me to the fullest extent, mentally , spiritually and economically....with out one request from me. I am selling everything I can get my hands on to move into town to get a job and go back to school. Because of my connections and friendships on Facebook, for the first time I know what I want to be when I grow up ! :o) An International Peace Negotiator.........

All of this support and help has come from AROUND THE WORLD....and I have "family" 1.5 hours away who have nothing.......so....you tell me if you can make a lasting and "real" connection with people online ? My experience is........yes. Have I been hurt by some online ? Yes, badly. But the good soooo out weighs the bad......just like in "real world" .

I have been given great insight into worlds and cultures I would never have had if nor for these friendships. My view of the world is huge and loving........instead of small and fearful, which is what it was with just the US media propaganda machine rolling. My friends consist of Foreign Govts. ..military ..ours and others... One of the people who gave us the Pentium .....foreign investors and developers....normal people like me....the United Nations... writers, actors, publishers, musicians, activist, artists, mothers and dads........and my high school friends from four thousand years ago !!!!!!!! :o)

The internet is what you make of it..........plain and simple.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

GinnyA52 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 02:08:47 GMT

Why does it take forever for post to appear, gee, someone is s l o w at posting messages. FACEBOOK sucks, email ain't good enough? Youtubes, facebook, IM, Diggs, and heaven know what will be next. They are all the same. Geeze, you people are impossible to satisfy.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

trynow — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 02:20:15 GMT

People need to be careful about putting their personal business online. Not everyone you add on Facebook truly cares about you, or will do something to help you if there is a real

problem. As with an employer who can Google you to find out more about an applicant before deciding to hire or not hire an applicant, Facebook disclosures can be used against you. People can be jealous and envious of others success and achievements particularly in these difficult times. It pays not to flaunt good fortune. How many of those added as friends on Facebook can actually lead you out of a problem, or connect you to resources?

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

DizzyMe72401 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 02:23:58 GMT

Before Face Book and myspace there were news sites that had message boards to post your thoughts on the days events and whatever other topics the site manager would start. And then people started their own message boards.

You can find loonies on any message board...blog...myspace or FB.

I have a myspace that I started at the request of my grandson. Several hundred miles separate us. I have it set to private so that only family members and a few select friends are allowed. I am also on Face Book and that is set to private also.

I joined Face Book because there was a certain group that I wanted to join. After a couple of months there I found I had said all that I had to as relates to the subject matter there. I hadn't been on FB for a few weeks when a friend asked me why I hadn't been on FB for a while. I told her. She told me about Farm Town...a game that is supported by FB's platform. I joined the Farm Town game...for me it's a great way to clear my head after a long day at work. Now I have pretty much the same people on my FB friends list as I do on myspace.

I don't search out old friends and classmates on either site. I have a Classmates account and have connected with some old friends from grammar school and high school that way.

I fail to see why people have this need to "collect" as many friends as possible on myspace and FB. Someone posted here that her daughter has over 2,000 "friends." I don't know how she can call them "friends" because "friends" to me are people you talk to. The best part of having a friend is being able to hear their voice. I don't see that happening with 2,000+ "friends." I have to wonder what people put in their profiles to attract that number of "friends."

I like FB and myspace. I like them because of the ease of posting pictures. When there are several hundred miles between you and family and friends this is the next best thing to being there. Sure there is email. But when you have your family on FB or myspace they all get to see the pics and post their thoughts. I'd rather read 30-40 little notes than open 30-40 emails!

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

pradoverde — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 02:24:17 GMT

Facebook has been a nightmare to me. I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me. The other girl went to his place, left her profile opened and I could find that they were having a sexual affair.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

jazniktan — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 02:42:01 GMT

I think I have lost my best friend to Facebook. Living in different states we often spoke via the Internet over the last six years, but since getting on Facebook (since January,) I have seen a different side to my friend; an annoying side. I've never seen anybody post every single hour. Every single work out, what building she's walking to, what she's eating for dinner, and so on. I have had to HIDE her status just to keep the sanity in our friendship. She is for sure OCD when it comes to Facebook.

The worst part is that her marriage is anything but perfect. The things she and her husband have said about one another in the past would make anyone think twice about walking down the alter. On Facebook, they have the perfect, model of a marriage. They even write poetry to one another, flirt, joke, talk about how they're soul mates....BARF! If her list of friends ONLY KNEW!

I guess when you have relationships on the Internet like on Facebook, you really can have the perfect marriage, perfect kids and perfect life from just the click of the mouse!

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

joykpeters — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 02:46:38 GMT

I love Facebook. I have found so many friends I went to school with and it's a great way to keep in touch. I don't accept friend requests from strangers. I have 168 friends from classmates, family members, and people I work/worked with.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

John7749 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 02:47:40 GMT

Facebook friends come in many different categories: the old, the family, the new, the ones that you have never met but share similar interests ith. At times it can be a bit like a circus tent of the Democrat Party. Yes, there are applications that seem bizarre, inane and be eshausting in TMI.

However, as a person that has had acute depression and leads a very different and solitary life, I have discovered many of the old friends and acquainted myself with others I know in my community but have not yet socialized with. FB makes all of them more approachable and allows me to share more with all. Many will learn aspects of my life that they are unfamiliar with as I will find the same of them. If the information becomes too much then either of us has the power or control to decide what is to excessive and remedy the information we receive from others.

I spent 3 years in a hospice and have been in assisted living for 2 years. For those of us that many would consider shut-ins FB is our welcome mat to others and our door to their world. Anyone with OCD could easily become hooked I suppose, but for many it is an ONLY outlet for discourse. Not everyone including myself has family in near proximity. I have a total of 301 friends. 75% of them are friends from my past, my youth and family. While I know that sharing my life in a face to face experience may be better for my endorphins, I can easily say that my heart takes a leap when I discover an old friend or family member to share memories with as well as the progression of our lives.

As to the quirky tests one takes, I think that is simply a matter of personal choice. Who else is going to give me a test orther than a physical when one is 60? I'm confident I and others will tire of the tests with time, but they can be novel and fun. FB does not seems dangerous to me as long as I realize that the most important intercourse and communication in life is that with the human touch. However, FB does allow me to laugh outloud several times a day when otherwise I might have had a day without laughter.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

UtopiaHG — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 02:50:48 GMT

For some users of Facebook, the site is a place to enter into competition with others to see how many so-called "friends" one can gather up. Are those 500 or more people really FRIENDS??? In some cases, they may be close(?)acquaintances, but who has time for 500 or more friends? I find Facebook useful in that sometimes I can find long-lost REAL friends, or they sometimes find me.

But I'm tired of seeing other people's conversations on my wall, which I have now limited specifically to conversations with me, or my thoughts/posts. I originally put my profile on FB in order to find potential dates. I never checked to see if this is something FB is useful for. I don't find it particularly useful, and when old friends and close relatives don't respond to friend requests, it leaves me wondering why, and doesn't make me feel so great, esp. in the case of the close relatives(who ARE on FB). I think a phone call or personal letter is a more connected way of staying in touch with your friends. FB may be appropriate for young people, but I'm not that impressed with it for someone like myself who is middle-aged and hasn't seen a lot of my friends for up to 35 years!

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

dbtmellis — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 03:09:40 GMT

I use both Facebook and Myspace. I personally dont add people have not acutally met in person, How can they say you are "Friends" with someone you never actually met in person?

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

dbtmellis — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 03:13:18 GMT

i think its already been said, but who really "knows" all of friends? I have about 75 on Facebook and mypsace. I once saw someone when browsing profiles for people that i might know, that they had 56,000 friends! Give me a fliping break!

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

bkhale — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 03:34:57 GMT

u say it could be a good thing for ur self esteem but i think people need to come to reality hows this for self esteem say ur husband stays on facebook addicted to it meets a old friend from long long ago and now cant wait to go be with her when the whole time this is going on online his wife is cooking cleaning doing everything for his childern and working and all this time while hes on facebook talking to his long lost friend hows that for a good thing or a boost of self esteem but facebook could be good for finding old fr\iends and not wanting to wreck a family

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

leah_crf250 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 03:37:06 GMT

You say facebook is good for self esteem? Thats only because FB is a place where people can brag and get away with it.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

soccermom09 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 03:44:05 GMT

I joined facebook after several high school friends did. We have never had a reunion and FB has been our reunion. I also have used it ask for a good babysitter, or a reciepe, or if anyone is selling a certain item I am interesed in buying. I enjoy FB.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

funniwench — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 03:47:31 GMT

My sister lives five minutes away --yet because we're so different, we've never spent a whole lot of time together. Now? OMG since my dear sis joined facebook, we write back and forth almost every day--staying bonding over silly quiz results and just sharing silly internet fun. Whoodah thought... I've met quite a few wonderful people on fb I never would have met standing next to me at the grocery store. So yay for fb!

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

dbtmellis — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 03:55:36 GMT

I see it on these posting too, how hard is it to put a Y and an O in front of U? Its not hard. I know the internet is formal, but please, make an honest attempt to made your posting readable.

Also HoW CaN PePoPlE TyPe LiKe ThIs over and over? its so da*n hard to read.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

dbtmellis — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 03:57:25 GMT

The internet is also the only place that grown adults can act like 3rd graders and get away with it. I have seen some of the nasitest posts, somethings that would NEVER be said face to face.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

4bgary44 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 04:02:13 GMT

I find facebook an easy way to communicate with my family. I have 7 children and they live in 6 different states. We have a set time of day that we all chat if we need to correspond. I also have a great grandaughter in the hospital and I can check on her through her mother's fb page. Keep up the good work at facebook.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

lemondropkid — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 04:04:34 GMT

F ace book, I did'nt care for, however You Tube, I have found very entertaining, with the ability to see and hear music videos from long ago, and share what the "good old days "were like. You can develop a nice set of "friends" who are not inundating the older music with their "Tweendom" rants, I, log on nearly everyday, and log off humming "daydream believer" or Neil Diamonds "Shilo", makes my day..

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

SiobhanMH88 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 04:08:43 GMT

I believe some of us reach out to distant friends via internet to become more social but end up spending more time on the internet and internet communications than in social environments. I think a experiment is in order. Maybe a social person may find face book to be a catalyst in their social life and self esteem; someone who is shy and lacking confidence.... would it be a help or hinderence to their over well being? Is it a crutch? Is it a boost? I won't throw my personal opinion in here. I just hope somebody will conduct some sort of experiment and keep me updated.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

TL1000 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 04:13:53 GMT

I thought I would try Facebook out to find an old friend. I exchanged emails with her for real communication. Facebook seems like a way for boring people to feel popular. My experience is that shy people have fun personalities once you get to know them which isn't really possible on Faebook. The boring "friend" gatherers who add to each others' "farms" and all that junk is for people who have no life. In my state, a lot fat women sit around and eat and say nothing on My Space and Facebook all day. "I ate ice cream and a slim fast for lunch." It seems like it is for people without real personalities. TSo many boring or shallow statements. My jr. High diary was more exciting. A lot of the dumb ones have pictures of their children, list their full names and sometimes addresses or cities and I think it is a breeding ground for creeps to prey on their stupidity. They'll let anyone who asks be their "friend" which is dangerous.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

teener009 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 04:19:46 GMT

I have had the priveledge to reconnect with people on facebook that I were only acquantinces of during high school. Three people that I are friends with have had recent tragedies in their lives that were conveyed on facebook. I think their friends on facebook may have never of known of the deathshardships of their loved ones without this medium. The outreach to those persons effected has been phenomenal and the support great. Although our high school class was rather large compared to other schools in our area and we are now all spread across the country, we really have a common bond and a certain pride of knowing each other through graduating class. I have gotten to know a couple of people through facebook that I really never talked to in high school and have actually made solid friendships with them. I do believe facebook has created real and solid friendships along with true support to those that have found challenges in their lives, while some people do remain acquantinances (just like in face to face social situations).

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

melarmony — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 04:22:33 GMT

With regards to the comment about shy people not always being "able to engage friends in the real world", because the internet in less inhibiting, it does tend to provide an excuse for you not to relate to people in the real world. Also, I think that the FB or internet friends are more one sided. Let's face it, when you go on the internet most of the time it is self serving. You with want your "fix".of the latest gossip or to have people pay attention to what you are saying. If you REALLY wanted to befriend someone for their sake and know how they were doing, you would call them. The fact is, most of the time, it just takes too long and we don't feel like getting emotionally engaged. For instance typing a smiley face while at the same time rolling your eyes. They will never know the difference. You can also do several things at the same time and they will never know. You could be having a party and type acomment about being "so sorry" that the aunt has passed away and do you really mean it? It is the right thing to say but do you actually feel sorry? It is true that you can think more about what you are saying and how to say it but it is also true that people are then protected from being "over sensitive" to the comment you may have made before you got to the one that you made having time to think about it on FB. If you ended getting together for coffee someday, it would be most likely a different relationship altogether.

Now, I use face book as well but I also am friends with the ones I connect with regularily in person. We use FB to plan events, pass on information, share pictures or just joke around with a few friends at a time. It is good for friends/familiy in another province or state as well. Just a thought or two. ☺

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

spbugg91 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 04:27:05 GMT

This is one of the stupidest articles ever. Of cousre facebook count as real friends because almost everybody makes a facebook to find friends and sometimes old classmates. People who have no friends have stick to Myspace because they're losers and have no life.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

danicalirockstar — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 04:37:04 GMT

Facebook and myspace are great. I've had many friends from online help me out with issues in my life that I dont know in person. I think having "so called" internet friends is amazing. I have met over 15 great fun people from facebook and myspace. I also met the most important person in my life from these sites. My fiance!!!! Him and I were friends online for over a year before we actually met. The internet made us meet in the first place because in real life would have never met because I'm from Michigan and he is from England!

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

skyraider1 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 04:37:24 GMT

I agree that for those who are home-bound, or unable to socialize beyond "virtual space" for some other reason, such venues as FaceBook probaly offer considerable benefits. For those who would otherwise be socializing in real time, I suggest that such networking communities are having an pernicious effect upon both the participant's inclination, and capacity, to interact, face to face, with others.

More out of curiosity than anything else , I joined an online networking community - the now defunct "MSN QnA". There is, I found, initially a flat curve, which dramatically ascends, in the acquisition of "friends". As more friends are acquired, one spends more time interacting with these virtual acquintances, to the detriment of one's real world social.vocational and avocational pursuits...and tends to become removed from family, who are mystified at the energy one expends maintaining the viability of a network of , in truth, strangers.

I think a number of factors are operating to reduce one to an component of a human/computer interface. First, the subscriber can redefine him/herself in any manner they please - and this presentation of one's self may deviate substantially from what one truly believes or feels. There is a demand characteristic to sustain, and thus please, an exdpanding network of people who can only be known by what they choose to reveal... and, lest you loose these carefully cultivated "friends", one adapts to - or even adopts - the perceptions of the particular correspondent..

So there is an intrinsic tendency, if not to dissemble, then to skew the reality of one's personality. I don't believe this is neceesarily a concious effort to deceive, but I doubt it's psychologically healthy, nor does it contribute in a positive way to develloping social skills by, for example, "shy" people.

In addition, a reated factor is involved.One seeks validation from people who are acting in the same, false-front, manner, and may very well be unlikely to have become real-world friends were they to be encountered beyond the confines of a computer console. I noted that individuals would, to validate their own or another's worth, exhibit radical shifts in political or social philosphy, depending upon who they were communicating with. There is a tendency to forsake one's self in the interest of pleasing others, or seeking validation, which the distance inherent in communicating with what are, fundamentally, strangers, is electronically feasible- or actually elicited. This is not a socially laudable trait.

As technology advances, we may find that non-virtual socialization becomes aversive...in real time, there is nothing to obfuscate what one may feel are undesirable traits, while the barrier of the computer allows us to present our best - if incomplete - selves. This obviously is adverse to the normal feedback mechanisms which modify and hone our social skills - a sort of anti-Darwinian situation which permits undesirable traits to be retained rather than extinguished. Is this important? The successful social institutions which have arisen throughout our evolution were not virtual, but likely depended heavily upon this behavioral feed-back mechanism.

Issac Asimov wrote a novel - quite long ago - about a society in which all human interactions were by holographic means, and the very proximity of another, real person was intensely aversive. Needless to say, this was not a very effective means of garnering the comfort and warmth of personal contact, nor of developing altruism or empathy - or of sustaining a social structure. We'll be there soon - Webcams represent a small first step.

So, while I agree that there may be benefits to reducing "friendships" to a series of binary numbers, I found the experience rather hollow and contrived - no matter how profound, self-searching, or personal the information exchange seemed to be. In the end, it was two computers, not two people, talking to one another, filtering out the quirks and faults of the human operators, and creating "friends" of human facades. We lived and enaged one another in a Hollywood community in which there were apparent stores and dwellings, but were, in fact, illusory "sets".

FaceBook is admittedly a bit different than many other networks, in that it allows remote communication between people who are already known to omne another...until those "seven hundred" friends of friends enter the picture. At that point, communication is reduced to the typical level of other on-line network veracity - or lack thereof.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

csantos05678 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 04:46:34 GMT

I have had a Facebook and I got rid of it. FB was good to connect with friends and family but it wasn't for me. I have found that it wasn't good for my self-esteem because I see how everyone else's life is and I constantly compare it to mine. All the experiences they have that I will probably never get to do. Or if there's a party I cannot attend because it conflicts with my schedule and finances. But what can I do? Leaving that aside I believe Facebook is a good way to maintain the communication with friends. I also believe that internet friends or even real life friends do not take away from the meaning of friendship. Friends are friends. Sure you take a chance that the person may actually be rolling their eyes while typing a happy face on the internet, like a previous poster mentioned, but it's the same with real life friends they might be smiling and nodding when they could be thinking "is this girl stupid or what?" you never know. These days it's a rare quality to see people honestly express themselves because we are always changing our facade. Afraid of what others may think. And online like another previous poster mentioned, it is less inhibiting to interact with someone. Some people or most people may think interacting online is safer because you don't have to worry about appearance. Some people or most people may think that interacting online is an excuse to emotionally interact in real life. But either way you see it it's still friendship.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

ginnylou — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 04:47:33 GMT

People keep going on and on about their fabulous connections through facebook and myspace.

What ever happened to talking to people in person? If I have time to talk online, I have time to have a personal conversation in real life. I hang out with my friends-movie nights, bunco, shopping, craft day, etc....A generic, electronic, mass message to the masses is so impersonal and not in the true spirit of friendship. No wonder so many people struggle with communication and intimacy. I understand the benefits of being able to communicate with loved ones who live far away-that's great. Using facebook and myspace as your primary means of communicating with everyone (and anyone in many cases!) is lazy, sad, and pathetic.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

Hallowheart — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 04:56:22 GMT

Yes, yes they do. If they didn't, I don't think I'd be here living a happy life. I'd still be spiraling in a dark vortex of depression, followed by visions of broken dolls, sewed shut lips, and whatever horrid things my mind could invent for me to doodle out on my math homework.

There is one person I met, on a pokemon forum of all places, that has become a better friend to me then anyone I've ever met in my small town that doesn't even possess a gas station! This person listens better to me then my school friends do, and knows more about me then they do as well. Without them, I'd still be wearing black and hiding my eyes behind my hair and my smile behind pouted lips. They've completely opened my world again.

My 'depression' wasn't anything tragic to anyone else who I DID know- to them, watching me lose access to a site I'd been part of for 5 years was nothing. But, that was a big thing to me- that was my life, and suddenly it was gone. Let me just say- no, I wasn't banned- I just can't access the site anymore do some complicated living quarters and a new principal. Anywho, to this day my 'friends' from 'real life' have never given me any sympathy for my loss of what was my hobby and world- but, my online friends have supported me and helped me recover, so I must say they give just as much if not better support.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

csantos05678 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 05:01:57 GMT

@ Hallowheart

I have to agree with you on this. Because personally I've experienced it. My friends online and it wasn't even on Facebook, have given me more support and more sympathy than my real life friends ever had. I was depressed and invisible to everyone else but to my online friends they all cared. And when they were stuck in a rut I was there for them. I wouldn't be here living a happy life either if it weren't for my friends online.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

Tashi3 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 05:27:26 GMT

I have just deleted my facebook for the second time. it is really impersonal. I think the bad aspects of facebook outweigh its benefits 1000*. Marketing of an individual = bull S^#*

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

num1rounder — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 05:36:18 GMT

Personally I think people spend to much time thinking about what other people are doing. I don't feel the need to think or even care about what someone I went to high school is doing with their life. If you don't have my phone number, then there is probably a reason for this. I focus on me and what I need to do with my life every second I can. This is how you get ahead in life. I see all my friends talking about all the girls they talk to online. What ever happened to a genuine person to person interaction? What kind of girl is she anyways if shes posting half naked pictures of herself? Things are changing....all over, but for me, I'm going to keep it genuine and not follow the crowd.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

CShekhar — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 05:44:03 GMT

I am shekhar. I like friend groups. I have many friends but Facebook few frienfs & Facebook friendship communicate system is bast. One friend to another friend discuss about real life and decision life partner by helpful media.

Thanks for new frienfs and Facebook media & Join with us & my mental refresh help yours.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

CShekhar — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 05:50:47 GMT

Join with Facebook friends with picture

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

dlmitch81 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 05:54:34 GMT

facebook and myspace destroy marriages thats all i gotta say

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

Moemoes — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 06:01:42 GMT

Facebook destroyed my 10 year-relationship! He left for a girl he went at school with ... and met 13 years later on facebook. She told him on his wall she's still in love with him ... I HATE FACEBOOK. It's an undercover datingsite.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

jgeeoff — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 06:07:49 GMT

like a lot of other things, it's not Facebook that's at issue, it's how one uses it. The only friends I have on Facebook are people I personally know, and some I found and/or found me, were real friends I hadn't seen in 30 to 35 years! We've phoned, caught up, and being able to see photos has actually enhanced the experience. For those who have a seemingly unrealistic number of friends, I question whether those are true friends, or is this one-upmanship--trying to amass friends like so many chips in a game. My take is that can be dangerous at worst. Having said that, it's very important to be able to actually speak and/or meet "friends," although in some cases of true shut-ins, I can see these social networks as a positive thing, as long as sincere people are out there that can actually lend help and support.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

genechick — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 06:26:41 GMT

I agree with the person whom said ..It is "how YOU use" Facebook. Just like anything else. Bad comes with good. I happened to have found several childhood friends on FB that I haven't seen in over 40 years. To me, that is WONDERFUL! Keep up the good work, FB. You are surpassing MySpace by a long shot!!

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

nureetco1 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 06:43:29 GMT

I love Facebook and I do use it from time to time, but it is not real and I don't have real connections. It feels way too virtual.

re: Friends With Benefits: Do Facebook Friends Provide the Same Support as Those In Real Life?

mclo5399 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 09:27:22 GMT

For kritenlyn: Having any kind of relationship with someone who is that much older than you is strongly discouraged. As much as he may seem to have in common with you chatting online will dissolve quickly once you meet face-to-face. When you mention Black Eyed Peas he may ask if you eat them with collard greens rather than tell you he likes their latest song. In addition, a man of his age may have children your age and younger. If you get into a disagreement about something, he could kick into autopilot and try to reprimand you rather than relate as an equal. I know guys your age don't seem as interesting right now as older men do.....their life experience, their extra money, car, etc. but believe me when I tell you. In the long run, people your own age are best. Generally, men who meet young girls online are up to no good. Remember stranger/danger?? I know you'll make your own decision, but this is the advice I would give my own daughters. Good luck, honey! Signed-Mom for Life