See “Children’s Hospital” (thewb.com), a Web series from former “Daily Show” star Rob Corddry. The free five-minute episodes spoof the melodrama and preposterous plot twists of TV medical shows.

Hear “Music for Abraham Lincoln” ($23.93; amazon.com) by Anne Enslow, a NEWSWEEK correspondent, and Ridley Enslow. Recorded from original sheet music found at the Library of Congress, this meticulously researched album takes listeners back to the heyday of parlor music. Each tune was written for or about the former president, born 200 years ago next month.

Surf Mother Nature Network (mnn.com), an environmental-news site cofounded by Rolling Stones keyboardist Chuck Leavell. It aims to be the CNN of all things green, featuring breaking stories, celebrity interviews, blogs and video reports from around the country.

I realize that people like me aren’t supposed to send e-mails like that, but I couldn’t stop myself. My brain told me, “Follow your system; history says it works.” My gut cried, “Are you crazy? Save what you can!”

Fear makes you stupid. To be on the other end of unhinged e-mails like this is what advisers are for. Mine reminded me about crises past and how stocks had recovered. Still, under his calm, his gut was screaming, too. “It’s a dangerous time,” he couldn’t stop himself from saying.

Besides my retirement account, I have a taxable account that I manage myself. Both are invested in low-cost, no-load mutual funds, allocated across various types of securities. Both are rebalanced periodically to maintain their original allocations. I should be weathering this shock as I did all previous ones: make regular contributions, rebalance and wait.

But this is the kind of collapse that sends you back to first principles. Were my allocations right in the first place? Stressed financial planners are asking themselves the same thing.

Take the question of safety. Planners traditionally have said, “Keep money safe if you’ll need it within two or three years,” for expenses such as tuition, taxes, buying a house or future daily bills. Money you won’t touch for longer periods can go into riskier investments, for higher returns.

That worked fine in the three market cycles during 1980 to 2000. After stocks dropped, it took less than two years for them to recover their previous peaks.

Then came the 2000–2002 bear market, which took more than six years to recover, followed by the current plunge. In a classic case of barn-door thinking, planners are reworking their definition of “safe.” Many now say that money needed in the next five years should go into bank CDs, bank money-market accounts and short-term bond funds. These investments pay more than you’d get from money funds that buy Treasuries, many of which now cost more in fees than the near-zero interest you earn. Treasury bonds are the only investment bubble left.

My OMG question was whether I had put too much of my retirement account into stocks. The rule of thumb is to subtract your age from 110 and consider that the percentage of your portfolio to put at risk. If you’re 50, you’d go 60 percent into stocks with 40 percent in bonds.

Sunday Open Houses are starting to look a lot more attractive, and it’s not just because the sellers baked brownies and slapped on another coat of paint. Since 2006, the peak of the housing boom, prices have dropped nationally by 18 percent and the rates on 30-year fixed mortgages have fallen from 6.8 percent to 5.5 percent. That means the average monthly mortgage payment has dropped from more than $1,000 to $894. The bottom line? Says Rich Arzaga, an independent financial adviser who teaches real estate investing at University of California, Berkeley, “Money is cheap, the homes are affordable, and sellers are really very desperate.”

That doesn’t mean you should run out and buy a house today; you can take your time to find the perfect home. The market is likely to bump along the bottom for a while, say analysts, and some markets may not hit their absolute rock-bottom prices for weeks or months—or even, in some vulnerable markets, years. But if you’re a first-time home buyer or a preretiree looking to line up your place in the sun (and you’re lucky enough to be able to afford one in this economy), start shopping now. Here’s why.

Good deals for snowbirds. Retirement hot spots like Florida, Nevada and Arizona have been particularly hard hit with falling prices. There are more than 21,000 homes for sale in Vegas; more than 5,000 in Boca Raton, almost 15,000 in Phoenix. That means lots of choice and room to bargain on price. If you’re intending to move to one of those areas, it makes sense to vacation there this winter and start checking out the market. In the three to five years it takes you to relocate, prices and rates are likely to solidify. There are already signs of slowing inventories and firming prices in some spots, like San Diego. But be careful: if you buy into a condo development that has many empty units, you can expect your monthly condo fees to rise significantly, to cover all those no-shows. And don’t count on rental income in those communities-in-crisis.

A bird in the hand. Don’t wait for the government-backed 4.5 percent rate that Treasury Department sources floated recently. It may never materialize, what with opposition from troubled banks and existing homeowners, and skepticism that it is the economic tool most needed now. Current rates are grazing their 45-year lows as it is, says Keith Gumbinger of HSH Associates, a mortgage-research firm. And they are as likely to head back up as they are to fall further.

Cheer up. There’s still one bright spot in the economy: sales of value wines (under $9) are up 5.3 percent in the last three months, reports A.C. Nielsen. That’s because, even in this grim economy, we need to maintain some semblance of holiday cheer. Even better news: sales of premium wines are down 10 percent, and deals abound. You may be able to treat your guests to the good stuff, after all.

If you’re one of the few who still have some extra bucks tucked away, try the Super Tuscan Ornellaia and Sassicaia, two of Italy’s most expensive wines. Wally’s premium wine store in Los Angeles (wallywine.com) is discounting them 20 percent. Sassicaia usually sells for $270 at Wally’s; now it’s $216.

If you’re still reluctant to drop the big money, there are plenty of bargains out there in the midrange prices. At Hartwickandgrove.com, a delicious 2005 Ravenswood Merlot Sangiacomo, which normally retails for $30, is on sale for $21. And the boutique producer Martini is selling its Sonoma Cabernet Sauvignon for $11.99 instead of the usual $19.99 at PlumpJackwines.com. If you don’t see a price you like, try bargaining. In this retail climate, you may just get what you want.

December 22, 2008 issue

Our top picks for the week.

Rent “Generation Kill.” This Iraq War miniseries from “The Wire” creator David Simon follows a group of hard-core Marines on their tour of duty. Like Simon’s other programs, “Kill” can feel like homework, with its large cast of characters who speak tactical jargon like bards, but it unfolds in surprising ways that reward the massive investment required.

Hear Elizabeth Willis’s self-titled album. This rich collection of soulful ballads couples raw lyrics with symphonic influence. Classically trained from the age of 4 in piano and violin, Willis is a folk artist in a class all her own. Standout track: “In Your Eyes.”

Eat honeybells. This cross between a tangerine and a grapefruit is available for only a few short weeks in January. Order a crate now ($34.99 for nine; honeybell.com) and have something to look forward to in the New Year.

See “First Ladies at the Smithsonian” at the National Museum of American History in Washington, D.C. (american history.si.edu). On display are 14 Inaugural gowns as old as Martha Washington’s and as new as Laura Bush’s. The show discusses the country’s expectations of First Ladies and their contributions. Check back next year to see what Michelle wore.

Surf handmedowns.com. Need extra cash, cheap kids’ clothes or both? Sell used clothing or find it at this new Craigslist for thrifty parents, which operates in 20 cities.

Tricks of the Trade: Beyonce (left) and Gwyneth Paltrow have undergone the detox. Photos: Getty Images

By Karen Springen and Anna Kuchment 

Saint Augustine once said that “fasting cleanses the soul [and] raises the mind.” Were he alive today, he might be surprised to see the fast detached from its spiritual roots and transformed into little more than a quick ticket to weight loss. Taken up by the likes of Beyoncé Knowles and Madonna and splashed across the pages of gossip magazines and Web sites, these “detox diets” or “cleanses” are everywhere. Publishers are churning out books like “The Fast Track Detox Diet,” “The Raw Food Detox Diet,” “Super Cleanse: Detox Your Body for Long-Lasting Health and Beauty” and “21 Pounds in 21 Days: The Martha’s Vineyard Diet Detox.” And as many as 3 million Americans flock to the nation’s 5,000 colonic hydrotherapy centers for enemas, a component of many detoxes, according to the International Association for Colon Hydrotherapy. Proponents say detox diets rid the body of impurities and boost energy.

Some regimens are more extreme than others. To prepare for her role in “Dreamgirls,” Beyoncé lost 20 pounds in two weeks by drinking purified water mixed with lemon juice, maple syrup and cayenne pepper (a.k.a. “The Master Cleanse”). More moderate approaches allow clients some food they can chew. Last spring, Oprah completed a 21-day cleanse in which she gave up meat, fish, eggs, sugar, gluten, alcohol and cheese. What was left? A lot, she says, including strawberry-rhubarb wheat-free crepes for breakfast.

The concept behind these cleanses is as old as human history. “There’s a straight line from detox diets to classical religious fasting,” says Harvey Cox, professor of divinity at Harvard University. In many religions, fasting is associated with enlightenment and atonement and understanding the suffering of the poor. “It’s a way of resetting one’s moral clock, of starting with a clean slate,” says Michael McCullough, a psychology professor at the University of Miami. Christians fast during Lent, Muslims fast during Ramadan and Jews fast on Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement that follows the New Year. “Fasting builds self-control,” says McCullough. “It allows people to build strength for when they have to adhere to some other moral dimension of their religion.”

It’s the season to avoid temptation: the kids’ leftover Halloween candy, the pumpkin pies, the holiday cookies. To help you keep off extra pounds during the holidays, TIP SHEET debunks common nutrition myths:

1. Eating before bedtime is fattening. “It’s not the hour of day that is a problem. It’s the excess calories,” says registered dietitian Lona Sandon, a spokesperson for the American Dietetic Association. People burn calories even when they’re sleeping, but staying up late, mindlessly munching, will add pounds.

2. Fresh fruits and veggies are healthier than frozen or canned. Frozen and canned produce is harvested at peak ripeness and may even be of higher quality than fresh. Frozen and canned versions are also often cheaper and won’t spoil quickly. But read the labels to make sure there is no added salt or sugar.

By Joan Raymond 

Can MRI technology do a better job than mammography in detecting breast cancer? That question has been on the minds of many women after Christina Applegate revealed that her breast cancer was discovered after her doctor ordered the scan. While it can be a powerful diagnostic tool, most women may not benefit from MRI screening, says Dr. Len Lichtenfeld, deputy chief medical officer for the American Cancer Society. Not only are MRIs more expensive, the test also has more false positive results than mammography. But recent ACS guidelines (cancer.org) do recommend MRI, along with mammography, for women who are at the highest risk of developing the disease. That includes women like Applegate who have tested positive for a genetic mutation called BRCA or who have a close relative with the mutation and are untested. Currently, there isn’t enough evidence to recommend for or against MRI for women with more moderate risk factors. Best bet: talk to your doctor or call the ACS 24/7 at 800-227-2345.

By Caitlin McDevitt 

More parents are buying into the notion that even adolescents shouldn’t be stuck in unsightly orthodontia. But are the prettier (and pricier) alternatives to braces better? Most orthodontists say no. This summer, Align Technology—the company that lured adults back to the dentist with clear retainers in 1999—launched Invisalign Teen. Though kids might be thrilled to avoid a mouthful of metal, Manhattan orthodontist Jan Linhart warns that the removable devices ($4,500 to $7,800) are a big responsibility. “You have to wear them in order for them to work,” he says. According to patient Jenny Cook, 17, of Los Angeles, “It’s really easy to get lazy putting it back in.” Neal Kravitz, an orthodontist in Chantilly, Va., says that most adolescent cases are too severe for Invisalign anyway. (The company says its retainers fix crowding, spacing issues and overbites.)

That doesn’t mean all kids with crooked teeth have to be Ugly Bettys. They can get iBraces—customized brackets attached to the back of the teeth. “I have a lot of patients driving from afar for them,” says Beverly Hills orthodontist Atoosa Nikaeen. Offered by only 18 percent of orthodontists, iBraces move teeth like regular braces but are harder to put on and can cost twice as much ($8,000 to $14,000). Some parents will pay to spare their children the teasing, but it might be better to just stick with what the parents wore in their schooldays. Even orthodontists who specialize in cosmetic options say that conventional braces ($3,000 to $7,000) are still the best. “They’re the most efficient and the easiest,” says Linhart. Luckily, there is another option for the tinsel-toothed: for only a few bucks, they can have their braces PhotoShopped out of the yearbook.

A growing number of online green guides help consumers choose food, toys, cosmetics and household products made by socially responsible companies. TIP SHEET provides a guide to the guides.

• goodguide.com: This well-organized site rates personal-care and household products. Seventh Generation’s Natural All-Purpose Cleaner gets top marks. Info on packaged foods is coming soon.

• cosmeticsdatabase.com: The Environmental Working Group’s Skin Deep cosmetic-safety database scores personal-care products based on their potentially hazardous ingredients.

• climatecounts.org: This site evaluates companies that produce apparel, food, beverages, electronics and household products for their impact on global warming. Results: Nike scores high.

See “Two Museums, One Culture” at the Museum of Russian Icons in Clinton, Mass. This ambitious survey of icons from the 16th through the 19th centuries includes 16 rare works from Moscow’s Tretyakov Gallery ($5; russianiconmuseum.com).

Hear “Don’t Believe” by Cherry holmes III. This family of six has created a bluegrass sound that explodes with exuberant fiddle, expert banjo and passionate harmonies. With energy to spare, the new album is a foot-tapping delight ($12.98).

Rent “The Edge of Heaven.” Cultures, generations and lovers collide in director Fatih Akin’s stunning, moving drama, which whirls from Germany to Turkey, tenderness to terrorism. It’s a multicultural epic.

By Joan Raymond 

If you can buy pregnancy and ovulation kits over the counter, it only follows that drugstore paternity testing would be next. Last November, Identigene, a Salt Lake City DNA-testing company (dnatesting.com), began a rollout of its over-the-counter DIY paternity-test kit. In the past year, some 60,000 people have mailed in cheek swabs from the alleged father and child for analysis. (For best results, a DNA sample from the mother should be included, too.) Though the test won’t stand up in court—no impartial DNA collector, no proof of identity and no chain of custody—the DNA samples are analyzed the same way a court-admissible test is, says Doug Fogg, chief operating officer. That means Identigene checks for 16 or more genetic markers in its accredited lab facilities. Results are available in three to five business days at a secure online site or by mail. The test costs $29.99, plus a $119 lab and processing fee. (For $200 more, customers can opt for a method that includes court-admissible sample collection and chain-of-custody procedures verified by a third party.) The kits are available at Rite Aid, CVS, Meijer, Fruth and, just last week, Walgreens, in the home-health-test aisle or the family-planning section—right next to the spermicides, sponges and condoms.

By Elisa Mala

Poet Dylan Thomas referred to his birthplace as an "ugly, lovely town," but with centuries of history showcased alongside cutting-edge architecture, this fishing village and resort town (called Abertawe in Welsh) is as picturesque as its English name suggests. On her first visit to Wales, NEWSWEEK’S Elisa Mala was charmed by the quaintness of the surroundings as well as the warmth of the locals who occupied them.

STROLL along the Mumbles, a walkway along Swansea Bay that passes through local shops, eateries and piers. In warmer months, the Swansea Bay Rider, a land-based train that’s kid- and adult-friendly, rolls along the path at a leisurely pace. The rides end as soon as September does, but they return for one night only on the eve of Halloween!

LEARN about the town's storied past and view the mummy Hor at the Swansea Museum, which displays many regional artifacts. Or partake of futuristic multimedia exhibits at the National Waterfront Museum, which pays homage to the country's nautical history. Its balcony offers a panoramic and unparalleled view of the adjacent marina.

INDULGE in concoctions like Tuscan Cassata and Strawberry Cookies and Cream at Joe's Ice Cream Parlour, a mainstay since 1922. Or try over 30 flavors of gelato and non-fussy Italian dishes at Verdi's Café. For seaside views that are as fresh as the fare, try to snag a table on the pier.

EXPLORE the intricacies of the well-preserved Oystermouth Castle, which was built in the 12th century and served as a residence for the reigning lords. Despite several sieges, remains of the nearby Swansea Castle are surprisingly intact.

By Kristin Luna

A native of the American South, travel writer Kristin Luna got back to her roots during a recent trip to Austin, Texas. Some highlights:

STAY: Simply name drop that you’re staying at the sumptuous Driskill Hotel, and heads will turn. It is, without a doubt, the city’s most famed establishment and rightfully so. Located smack in the center of downtown, within walking distance to the State Capitol, it’s steeped in history and boasts the fanciest digs around. Rooms exude an old-fashioned charm with their oil paintings, antique furniture and delicate drapery, mixed with modern amenities like flat-screen TVs, DVD players, iPod docks, wireless Internet and Molton Brown bath products. Around the corner from the Driskill, the InterContinental Stephen F. Austin is another popular option with business travelers; like the rest of the brand, it affords the utmost comfort in beds and amenities, and also houses a chic second-floor bar with incomparable views of the Capitol.

If you prefer a stay-and-play vacation, Barton Springs Resort & Spa can fulfill all of those needs. With four golf courses, 11 lit tennis courts, a state-of-the-art gym and running track and plush grounds that span 4,000 acres, Barton Creek deserves its own zip code. Be sure and pamper yourself at the remarkable spa, which features unique treatments like a Mexican Chocolate Cayenne Scrub or a Hill Country Harvest Souffle, a full-body massage using warmed avocado pits and various other parts of the fruit for nourishment. Barton Creek is also perfect for families, with a great pool and deck and even 18 holes of mini-golf on site. A hotel that offers a more typical Austin feel is the quirky San Jose Hotel on South Congress; with a central courtyard, pool and bar, it attracts a younger clientele and those ready to mingle. Its bungalow-style rooms are also quite interesting with stucco walls, concrete floors and geometric windows that occupy an entire wall.

EAT: After splitting time between New York and San Francisco over the past few years—two cities known for their culinary assets—I’ve become quite the food snob. Prior to my trip, I had heard that Austin didn’t have much of a dining reputation, but was pleased to find that was far from the truth. Happy hour at Ranch 616 is a good introduction to the city: The restaurant and bar is now home to the “official drink of Austin”—the Fire in the Hole—as recently voted on by a panel of local judges. Appetizers like fried asparagus, frogs legs and crispy oysters with chipotle tartar are the perfect complement to a shot of Paula’s Orange Liquor, lime juice, cayenne and chili powder with a Lone Star beer for a chaser. From there, move on to Guero’s Taco Bar, which frequently draws the likes of Matthew McConaughey, pal Lance Armstrong and tennis superstar Andy Roddick, and is a favorite joint of the Clintons. South Congress Café serves a mean brunch with dishes like Southwestern-style eggs benedict and carrot cake French toast, and Sandra Bullock’s eatery, Bess Bistro, is popular for its yummy comfort food. For some tried-and-true Texas BBQ, opt for Stubb’s or Salt Lick. If you want fine dining, you’ll find your fanciest fare at Hudson’s on the Bend with its menu of quality game, including elk, Cornish hen, hare, wild boar, buffalo and quail. Those with a sweet tooth should grab a baked good at the Airstream trailer housing Hey Cupcake! or a cone at Texas chain Amy’s Ice Creams after dinner.

SHOP: Second Avenue’s row of boutiques will warm up your plastic, while South Congress Avenue can continue the credit card calisthenics at kitschy one-off finds, antique stores and vintage shops. If you care to be cliché, hit up Allen’s or Heritage for some authentic cowboy boots. Outlet aficionados won’t want to miss nearby San Marcos’ Prime Outlets, which make all other factory outlets pale in comparison, located just 30 miles south of the city on I-35. Not only does it house all the outlet regulars (J. Crew, Banana Republic, Coach, Nine West, Gap), but loads of designers (Michael Kors, Escada, Kate Spade, Catherine Malandrino, Gucci, Marc Jacobs) and home stores (Williams Sonoma, Pottery Barn, Crate and Barrel), too. It will take you hours–if not days–to cover the whole area.

VISIT: The Texas State Capitol sits front row and center in Austin’s downtown at the end of Congress Avenue. The tallest capitol building in the United States, it is, dare I say, more impressive than even the National Capitol. With one of the nation’s biggest university populations, the University of Texas’ campus is worth a leisurely stroll, if for no other reason than to gawk at all the burnt orange “hook ‘em horns” paraphernalia. The Bob Bullock Texas State History Museum may not initially sound intriguing, but the building is massive and beautifully designed and it’s chock-full of more history than you probably knew the state contained. Alamo Drafthouse – where you can grab a bite to eat while catching a flick – is a popular hangout for Austinites and now owns four locations around town. And a trip out to two city staples, BookPeople and the 80,000-square-foot Whole Foods flagship store (complete with 14 restaurants and cooking classes on-site), which are across-the-street-neighbors, isn’t to be missed.

Illustration: Michael Klein for Newsweek

For families, fall marks the start of germ-fighting season. Kids catch an average of one to two colds per month during the school year; parents catch fewer but suffer just as much. Mom and Dad miss work to care for their children, then end up missing more work once they catch what their kids brought home. And the cycle begins again. A series of runny noses and fevers may not land anyone in the hospital, but it can take a serious toll on productivity.

What are the best strategies for staying healthy during the cold-weather months? We all know that washing hands regularly and getting the flu shot are good places to start, though there is new information on those recommendations, as well. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention now says all kids, ages 6 months to 18 years, should get the flu shot (previously, the recommendation had extended only to kids younger than 5), and doctors agree that you need to scrub and rinse your hands for at least 20 seconds in order to kill germs most effectively.

What about less scientific-sounding advice like wearing a sweater and chugging orange juice? TIP SHEET looked at the new thinking on some old wives’ tales.

• Wear a hat. True. Mom always said to bundle up before leaving the house, and it turns out she was right. If you’re dressed inappropriately, your core body temperature can drop, and that can lower your immune system’s function, says Dr. Ted Epperly, president of the American Academy of Family Physicians. Your body loses the most heat through your head, but wearing gloves or mittens will also help.