Nice Threads: 'Gossip Girl''s Ed Westwick (left) and Taylor Momsen
James Devaney / Getty Images (left); Soul Brother-Film Magic-Getty Images

Fashion consciousness isn’t new to the schoolyard set. But with more and more TV shows about wealthy teens, like the CW network’s “Gossip Girl” and MTV’s “My Super Sweet 16” on the airwaves, parents may find themselves bombarded with an unprecedented number of requests for $140 Coach bags and $60 Abercrombie jeans. Here’s how to balance the desire to make your kids happy with the need to avoid bankruptcy.

• Ask why kids want designer duds. Usually, the motivation is to fit in or acquire social status. Christine Feiler, whose kids are 6, 9, 12 and 14, says she regularly hears: “Everyone else has it!” One strategy is to talk about alternative ways of accomplishing that same goal, says Dee Shepherd-Look, a clinical psychologist who specializes in children and families. Parents can encourage their kids to more actively call friends and organize gatherings. “Studies on adolescent popularity show that popular kids are the ones who reach out, make things happen, who tend to be complimentary to other kids,” says Shepherd-Look.

• Lay out the financial picture. If a kid begs for pricey apparel, “the parents can smile and say, ‘That would be grand, but we can’t afford it’,” says child psychiatrist Elizabeth Berger, author of “Raising Kids With Character.” Then kids will understand a “no” is “not that the parents are just being mean,” says Brad Sagarin, an associate professor of psychology at Northern Illinois University. Don’t dwell on the electric bill and the mortgage with younger kids. Instead, ask if they would give up a birthday party to buy an Abercrombie shirt.

Does your child complain that math is his least favorite subject? Jo Boaler, a math-education professor at England’s University of Sussex and author of “What’s Math Got to Do With It? Helping Children Learn to Love Their Least Favorite Subject—And Why It’s Important for America” (Viking/Penguin, $24.95), and Rod Pierce, creator of mathis fun.com, offer some advice.

• Make it fun. To practice geometry, try tangrams, seven-piece puzzles whose pieces can be put together to form different shapes ($7.95 at etacuisenaire.com); or the card game Set ($12 at setgame.com). To develop number skills, check out Equate, which is like math Scrabble ($25 at conceptualmathmedia.com), or Cribbage ($24.99 at target.com).

• Boost their confidence. Never say “You’re wrong,” says Boaler. “There’s always some logic in their thinking. The key is to find the logic.”

By Anne Underwood 

Kylee Smith, 5, of Richmond, Va., loves cheese—grilled cheese sandwiches, mac and cheese, cheese quesadillas. It’s what she doesn’t like that has her mom worried. Kylee won’t eat meat, other than chicken nuggets. Her vegetable consumption is limited to tomato sauce—but only on pizza, not spaghetti. Most nights, her mother has to prepare a special dish just for her. “If we’re eating something she doesn’t like, she won’t even sit next to us,” says her mother, Jean-Marie.

If this sounds familiar, take heart. Children can be notoriously picky eaters—and today’s snack-food culture makes it even harder to channel their tastes in healthy directions. But research is shedding new light on how food preferences are formed—and what we can do to promote healthy eating. The good news: your choices aren’t limited to sneaking puréed vegetables into foods or battling it out over broccoli.

One of the most surprising findings is that it’s never too early to start—not even during pregnancy. Flavorful compounds from a mother’s diet cross the placenta into amniotic fluid, which babies in the third trimester swallow at the rate of a quart a day. “Babies develop preferences for these foods long before they actually eat them,” says Julie Mennella, a biopsychologist at the Monell Chemical Senses Center in Philadelphia. Similarly, during lactation, flavors pass from the mother’s bloodstream into breast milk. Mennella has done studies showing that babies whose moms drank carrot juice or ate fruits while breast-feeding liked carrot and peach baby foods better than formula-fed infants did.

By Christina Gillham 

Does the thought of dropping your child off at camp send you into fits of separation anxiety? If so, you’re not alone. The American Camp Association (aca camps.org) says it’s seen an increase in “kidsickness” from parents, whose intense relationship with their children makes it harder to let go. Here, some tips from Peg Smith, CEO of the ACA, on how to make your weeks alone easier:

• Choose a camp you feel comfortable with—one that meets your needs and matches your own philosophy and values. Confidence in the camp will put you more at ease.

• Know that separation is natural and necessary. Each new experience increases a child’s confidence. “Separation helps children develop independence,” says Smith. “It’s not only natural, it’s developmental.”

By Tina Peng 

Summer gymnastics and swim camps across the country are full of tomorrow’s Shawn Johnsons and Margaret Hoelzers, but where do future Olympic hopefuls go to train for the somewhat more exotic track and field disciplines, such as javelin and shot put? You might have to look a little harder, but there are clinics and coaches that offer beginners an introduction to these sports, too.

Javelin coach Erik Bernstein (erikbernstein.com) gives private lessons and group clinics throughout New Jersey. Bernstein, who usually has about 40 clients, says some of his students are high-school athletes who see the underrepresented sport as a shot at scoring an athletic scholarship to college. But he thinks interest in javelin is likely to surge after the Olympics air on television. “A lot of high-school kids aren’t aware of the event,” he says.

You’re an avid runner, and now Junior has decided he’d like to start, too. Is it OK? Sure, with a few caveats.

• Factor in age. Kids who run too much too soon can burn out. There’s no hard and fast rule, but try a mile or so for kids 9 to 13, one to three miles in junior high and three to five miles in high school, says Dr. Rebecca Demorest of the American Academy of Pediatrics (aap.org).

• Beware of overheating. Kids heat up faster than adults and don’t sweat as efficiently. Make sure they hydrate every 15 to 20 minutes.

• Don’t overdo it. Overuse injuries are common in repetitive sports. It’s not clear whether excessive running can harm growth plates, but use common sense.

 
Andre Lichtenberg

Two years after her 2003 divorce, Lisa Gentile took her daughter, Claudia, then 6, to Las Vegas. “Somebody told me how family-friendly Las Vegas had become,” says Gentile, 44, a legal specialist from Fanwood, N.J. The pair played by the pool and took a gondola ride at the Venetian, but the experience left Gentile feeling lonely for adult conversation. “When you travel with a child, children will always meet other children, but grown-ups do not necessarily meet each other,” she says.

On their next mother-daughter adventure, Gentile booked a getaway through Single Parent Travel (singleparenttravel.net). The Annapolis, Md., company offers group vacations for adults traveling alone with kids. Last summer, she and Claudia, now 9, spent a week at the Beaches Turks & Caicos resort ($2,767 for seven nights for one adult and one child, all inclusive) along with two dozen other single-parent families. “It was wonderful,” she says. Lisa and Claudia spent most days chatting and playing on the beach with other families, then meeting up again at night for dinner, a stroll or a variety show. They befriended a mother-daughter pair from their home state and have stayed in touch ever since. “The best part is the company,” says Gentile. “You’re meeting people you have something in common with, and their reason for being there is the same as yours.”

Longwood Gardens, Kennett Square, Pa.: Climb to the top of three large treehouses (one is handicapped-accessible) and look out over some of the garden’s 1,050 acres. Through Nov. 23. Price: $16 for adults, $6 for kids over 4 (longwood gardens.org).

Oregon Zoo, Portland, Ore.: Go back millions of years with an outdoor exhibit of 14 dinosaur species that roar, snarl and move; open May 17 through Labor Day. Walk through a rain forest and dig for “fossils.” Price: $4 plus regular zoo admission—$9.75 for adults, $6.75 for kids 3 and up (www.oregonzoo.org).

Illustration: Zohar Lazar for Newsweek 

By Anna Kuchment

Nancy Plant wasn’t sure how to prevent her daughter’s playdates from veering toward disaster. Five-year-old Kate “liked to be in control,” says Plant, an attorney from Bainbridge Island, Wash. Kate would tell her friends what to do and, if they decided not to follow her instructions, she “would get mad and not want to play with them.” Tears ensued. After trying several strategies that seemed only to make matters worse, Plant and her husband, George Jarecke, turned to a parent coach. For $75 an hour ($100 for an introductory session), Sally Kidder Davis of Sound Parent (soundparent.com) met with Plant and Jarecke to talk through potential solutions. One was to talk to Kate about the importance of being a responsible hostess. If she couldn’t help her guests enjoy themselves, she couldn’t have them over. The strategy worked.

“Otto Runs for President,” by Rosemary Wells (ages 4 to 8; $15.99). A young dog defeats two popular, self-centered classmates in a school election. In the end, he learns how tough it is to be president.

“LaRue for Mayor,” by Mark Teague (5 to 8; $16.99). In this slapstick tale, a dog runs for mayor after a crackdown on canine civil liberties. Finally, a real “change agent.”

Should you ever worry that a toddler isn’t active enough? For the most part, kids naturally are going to get enough activity. But if the child is gaining weight excessively, and you think a lack of activity might be contributing to that, then it might be an issue.

What can you do to encourage a shy child to run and climb? Try going to the playground at a less busy time. Help them climb up the slide backward, or ask them to race you to the swings. Play Hide and Seek or Simon Says.

Gaming the System: Choose videogames that adapt to your child’s skills. Getty Images

By Anna Kuchment and Christina Gillham

Parents who feel guilty about letting their kids watch TV might breathe a sigh of relief after talking to Deborah Linebarger. Linebarger, an assistant professor at the University of Pennsylvania’s Annenberg School for Communication who studies the effects of media on young children, has let all her kids watch some TV from the time they were babies. “There’s evidence now that certain kinds of programming can help kids with language development and can be beneficial in moderation,” she says.

Some studies have linked TV and videogames with obesity and attention-deficit disorders. And the American Academy of Pediatrics says kids younger than 2 shouldn’t watch any television at all. But, despite these warnings, 90 percent of 2-year-olds regularly watch TV, DVDs or videos, and one third of 3- to 6-year-olds have a TV in their bedroom. So child-development experts have turned their attention to helping parents make smart choices. A growing body of research shows that, if parents select programming wisely, set time limits and watch with their kids as much as possible, children are likely to benefit rather than suffer any negative consequences. “I don’t think TV screens for any age should be dealt with as something toxic,” says Dr. Michael Rich, a pediatrician at Children’s Hospital Boston and director of its Center on Media and Child Health (cmch.tv). Some advice on helping your children navigate the video landscape:

Ages 0 to 2.“There’s nothing better for infants’ development than human interaction,” says Dr. Dimitri Christakis, a professor of pediatrics at the University of Washington and coauthor of “The Elephant in the Living Room: Make Television Work for Your Kids.” Last year Christakis coauthored a study that found a correlation between baby video and DVD viewing and poor language development in babies ages 8 to 16 months. But Linebarger says to follow your kid’s cues. If your child seems interested in TV, an 11- to 12-minute episode of a commercial-free show like Nickelodeon’s “Blue’s Clues” or PBS’s “Arthur” is unlikely to do harm and could help him learn new words. Preliminary research by Rebekah Richert, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside, shows that babies as young as 18 months are capable of learning new words from DVDs like Baby Einstein’s “Baby Wordsworth” as long as “parents direct their children’s attention to the screen and label particular words.”

Ages 2 to 5. In Linebarger’s research, watching such programs as Nickelodeon’s “Dora the Explorer” and “Blue’s Clues” and PBS’s “Arthur,” “Clifford” and “Dragon Tales” was linked with increased vocabulary in kids ages 6 months to 2½ years, while such shows as PBS’s “Teletubbies” were linked with decreased vocabulary. Choose programs with a linear plotline, as opposed to a variety-show format, because they’re easier for toddlers to follow.

Ages 6 to 10. “There’s not as much programming for kids once they start school that’s of high quality,” says Christakis. But kids in this age group are not yet ready for prime-time TV, and parents will need to hunt around for more-appropriate content. Prescreen as much as possible to make sure the show you’re watching is teaching your child the same values you are, and check review sites like parentschoice .org or commonsensemedia.org. Linebarger also recommends documentary-style shows on the History Channel and the Discovery Channel. Michael Levine, executive director of the Joan Ganz Cooney Center at Sesame Workshop, a new organization dedicated to improving the educational content of digital media, says to limit screen time to one hour per day, discuss TV shows and games with your kids after they’ve viewed them, and read daily with them for at least 20 minutes. As with nutrition, a healthy media diet is all about balance.