Fashion: When Your Kids Want to Dress Like TV Stars

re: Fashion: When Your Kids Want to Dress Like TV Stars

beachbum1946 — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 05:23:08 GMT

Such a good article. Children have been spoiled by struggling parents who want their children to "fit in". More fortunate children whose parents can afford the expensive clothes make it hard for the less fortunate. School boards could end some peer pressure with uniforms. In a smaller town where my grandchildren go to school, the board just won't do it, too much pressure from some parents. Even the more fortunate children who attend private schools wear uniforms. This article should be mailed to every home in which a child resides.

re: Fashion: When Your Kids Want to Dress Like TV Stars

kshortSD — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 16:22:22 GMT

What's wrong with telling your kids, "okay, get a summer job and you can buy whatever you want". Also, maybe we'll get you that designer handbag for Christmas or your birthday, but it's the only present you'll get. I know I asked for Guess jeans when I was a kid and thought I would DIE if I didn't have them, but they were far less expensive than most designer handbags these days. Plus, I know I outgrew that way of thinking by the time I reached high school. If, by the time they are teenagers, they still want to dress like everyone else, will they ever outgrow that way of thinking?

re: Fashion: When Your Kids Want to Dress Like TV Stars

Tacocat27 — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 18:20:08 GMT

I'm not so sure that uniforms are the answer, with them leave any creativity and individuality. I know that highschool is tough and kids can be cruel, but if we tell kids that its better to just fit-in and follow the popular trends rather than be their own person how can they be expected to be free-thinking individuals? Like I said, I know its a lot to ask for teenagers to be accepting, but whats wrong with paving the way for individuality and open-mindedness early on? By buying your children designer handbags and such you are just showing them that having money is equatable to popularity. Stores like H&M and Target offer cheap alternatives that can look just as nice. A child shouldn't need a coach logo on a purse or a pair of Diesel jeans to feel good about themselves. However I'll concur there is nothing wrong with buying them one special designer item for Christmans or a Birthday. Instead of spending the money on designer duds, tell your child that you would rather spend it on their college education, trust me, they'll thank you in the long run

re: Fashion: When Your Kids Want to Dress Like TV Stars

CoachFran — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 18:40:19 GMT

What a great story -- and timely, too. As a professional clinical counselor and a parent coach, I hear families struggling with these very real issues every day. This article has some great advice, to which I add the following food for thought: Parents often feel helpless when kids threaten a meltdown over something they simply “must have,” but why is that? If her child was about to run in front of a bus, the very same parent would issue an unambiguous “STOP!” -- and follow it up with action to ensure that she did not get hurt. The fact is, kids know when you mean what you are saying. If it’s non-negotiable, there’s a confidence in your demeanor that tells them you’re not kidding. But sometimes you’d really like your child to have what she is asking for, however impractical. Maybe there’s an element of guilt – “I should be able to get that for her.” Your ambivalence results in a mixed message that signals your child to bargain, whine and cajole. Consistently communicating clear expectations builds your credibility with your kids, along with their sense of security. Kids are scared when parents seem helpless. They need to know that you can hold them to the limits when they feel out of control. Giving in to children’s demands to avoid their anger causes parents to feel resentful, and teaches kids that whining and tantrums get results. One more thought, too: Involve kids in some financial decisions. Camp or a vacation? Dinner out or a new blouse? It's important for children to learn early that making choices is an positive way to manage money, rather than feeling deprived when they don't get everything.

Fran Hendrick, PCC