Felix Salmon points us to the Epicurean Dealmaker's Twitter feed, where ED has been engaged in a bizarre experiment to mash together Chuck Norris and finance. Somehow, the world didn't explode, and the results are hilarious:
Little-known Chuck Norris Fact: Chuck Norris does not mark to market. The market marks to Chuck.
More: Chuck Norris does not go bankrupt. Chuck Norris ruptures banks.
Source of hedge fund survivorship bias?: Funds that pay Chuck Norris 2 and 20 survive; others don’t.
Private equity: Chuck Norris does not believe in leverage. Chuck Norris believes in crowbars.
Investment banking: No-one defers Chuck Norris’s compensation.
Capital structure: No-one subordinates Chuck Norris. All his equity is preferred.
If Chuck Norris devised the bank stress tests, not even the Treasury Department would survive.
